okay here's the thing....

hmpf!
you know....the surpirse! - she's-gonna-move-back-after-she-gave- birth thing.
dikasih tau kemaren pagi..and I REFUSE!!!!
yang bener aje....masa dia mo menuhin rumah lagi seh?
kalo dia move in, i'll move out!

aneh bener2 aneh...ga abis pikir aja gua and sama sekali ga ngerti jalan pikiran dia!

one, kenapa dia yg musti balik ke rumah instead of boyong nyokap ke sana kalo emang dia perlu bantuan nyokap....since disana ada 2 spare room....

two, trus kalo dia pindah lakinya dimana?seperate gitu?ato di rumah juga...mo ditaro dimana?
kalo seperate....bukannya itu ga sehat ye?baru married masa uda pisah2 gitu seh?kasian juga kan dia, ga bisa liat baby-nya anytime he wants....
kalo gabung....mo tidur dimana?i won't give up me room that's for sure...been waiting for that room all my life!
IF you want me to give up my room, then you should give up your house!

three, doesnt he has anything to say?

four, leave me alone!!!why you keep bugging me??it doesnt mean i didnt care, i do care if you're far enough from me....

if she moved in....it means:
NO privacy AT ALL (since when i get some??!?!)
berisik, but on the other hand we all need to be quite...
berantakan (that's so damn sure)

the point is...please please please stay away from my space!

alrite, that's enough...i wont blubbered more here!
still...cannot believe it!

some crap in my head

been craving to write for few days, but hadnt had the time...and here i go...

okay, one more thing for sure....i've officially moved all my stuff to my room...its not done yet, about 60% done...still havent the feeling that its MY room!something
missing....the door maybe??!!?!

got a surprise (not quite a surprise se, uda predict)....mlb wants to move back to cawang

after she give birth!and i said....WTH WTF???you have your own house...use it lah!its such a waste!!meningan gua yang pindah ke sana deh....

other thing...found a new ass in the house.....he's such an asshole!munafik abis!!aint gonna talk to him....no fuckin' way!!!he's gonna be so damn sorry one day!!!you'll see!i dont need you anyway...

skipped work today....takut ada kerusuhan gara2 demo buruh, but i dont think so yee....

agak2 nyesel seh ga masuk kerja...sialan!it should be okay!

tadi siang liat2 poto...fffuuuhhh....life was good back then!darn it!i refuse to grow up!why we need to grow up?why?tell me why?

these days...i feel that each member of my (so called) family is my enemy....

these days....jadi mikir better not married so fast, not even in the next 2 years....think, i mean (REALLY) think about it before you do it...make plans first!dari pengalaman orang2 sekitar gua...make sure that you have the mentality to be a spouse, to be a parent....you should learn to take care of yourself and your spouse first before having children....

well...back to work tomorrow people!

randomness of me

cuci boil - inside out
no nap for today
ape lagi ye?
kayanya abis cuci boil uda worn-out gua...ehehehe...

kemaren ke inter-continental hotel, liat pameran baju penganten yaa ada gaun2nya juga seh...

wedding dresses-nya bagus2 sehh...berapa duitan ye?mustinya bawa kamera kemaren...darn!!!

hari ini belon ada rencana mo ngapain...eheheh...cuma bengon2 doang kayanya...hehehhe...

oh ye, started "Truly Madly Yours" few days back....seru juga tu buku kayanya...

si mlb mo nembusin kamarnya ke kamar baby...wah!ngapain???history repeat lage neh!
buang2 duit aje ye...kan mahal bobok tembok gitu...ngapain seh??
ga masuk akal aje...meningan duitnye buat yang laen toh...beli2 popok, susu...gitu2 lah....ato skalian ditabungin buat tu anak sekolah nanti...

mendung lagi neh....yaaaahhhhh....percuma dong cuci boil?tapi harus seh...udah kelewatan kotornya....

bentar lagi pulang ahhh

bentolan

muka gua bentolan!!
wth???
mate dahh....guattteeeelll, tapi ya ga boleh digaruk...ntar bentolnye jadi makin geeddeee...
kenape ye muka gua suka bentolan?
aneh...

and those are pretty big bentolans...anehh...
dipipi kanan nehh...garuk2 garuksss...

gatell gatelll...
it's only in your mind....it's only in your minndd.....

anyway, lunch bakso hari ini....

bentolan oh bentolan...please go away from my face!!!argh!

what i really want are ....

sit back and relax at home, reading the next book (which one ya?)
just be home!that's it!be in my room, doing my stuff.....
enak kali ye...

lately lagi pengen belajar banyak...
ya tennis lah, ya ballroom dancing lah, ya golf lah....

juga lagi pengen bikin kue lah...

pengen go dancing pula...

pengen mindahin lemari ke kamar gua...

pengen ini itu deh...kaya nobita....

cerita hari ini

drove my butt to the office. arrived around 8-ish.
immediately start working on some crap that needed to be done.

then work work work all the way up to lunch time. had lunch. chit chat a bit. back to work.
hardly checking my email today.

now it's 4pm and i'm so ready to go home.

oh ya, finished 'bookends' last night. quite happy with the story.
so which one should i start tonight ya?

okay today is tuesday ya?no good movie, so better read lahhh....
been in reading mood since few days back. is that a good thing?

miss my old space lately. miss 1810 (i know the building is so ugly, but it was my the warmest place in milwaukee for me).

what to wear tomorrow?thingkin of wearing a skirt, but usually i change my mind last minute.hohoho....
i like my hair, especially the bangs...looks so cute * i don't know why*

20 minutes to go...

wanna go out of the country...europe preferable.hehehhe....or dubai will do too...hehehe....watching too much travel channel....
but i love that channel...

thinking about that polkaot high heel i saw in mal artha gading...will it look cute in my foot?
shall see!

why people still working with so much energy around this hour?not me for sure?
raining again...when the summer will come?

celle haven't reply my msg - i asked her possibilities of ballroom dancing classes in jakarta area. need to do something.

in the mood going to cinema, popcorn in my right hand, coke in my left hand....

18 minutes to go...

5 minutes to go...

mo blajar tennis ah!

pulang yuuuukkkk

mau baca buku

pengen pulang...
pengen baca buku lagi neh....bookends....
lagi seru aja...
im enjoying reading (for now)....

du du du du...

tadi dipanggil ke kantornya si babeh....waaahh....untuuuung gua bisa jawab ditanyain ini itu....fiuuhh..

you know what...still want a gay friend...cowo, tapi dia yang jadi 'cewe' nya...aneh yee....
my new obsession tuh..entah kenapa...ehuehue....

monday morning

meen...
it's monday again!so tired, so sleepy (yes, i need more sleep), and to make it even worse babe back to his singgasana lageh!

watched Take the Lead ama si kendi....
i wish i could dance like that!

ke kondangannya irin....

pulang...

nelpon...still upset and he didn't even try to make things better...katanya itu kan masalah kecil..so no need diperpanjang!!!go to hell!!!!
males banget...bener2 ga mood kerja...i know i made another mistake...still keep my mouth shut!males...bodo amat...nanti aja kalo uda ke brought up....bodo bodo bodo!!!

not in the good mood again today....

pulang aje yok

"Bookends"

Been in the mood for reading lately. "Bookends" is the book i'm reading now.
Quite an interesting story (not gonna blabber it here though).
Jadi mikir....i really want to have a gay friend. Sebenernya uda lama banget si pengen punya temen gay (cowo tapi ye...).
There's one character, Simon Nelson. They call him Si.He has a very soft side or should I call a very 'girly' side? He's very sensitive. Very girlie. Very cute. He has a best friend, Catherine Warner or Cath.
One scene, he got dumped by his boyfriend. And it got me a bit emotional. He cried, I put myself as Cath. She tried to comfot him.
I think a gay man is much more wicked than a girl.
Anjrot!kok jadi adore gay man seh??wth?

Anyway, found a nice sentece in the novel.
"....but sometimes, when you're trying to make a relationship with someone new, you have to think about somebody other than yourself." (Bookends, pg. 209, 2002). I nod along. It's true meeehh......been trying to be like that, I know it can be like hell sometime, espcially when you're not in the mood of socializing. To put that 'not so real' smile. To squeeze your ego.
I really want to have this relationship and this friendship go along together. But seems so DAMN hard!!why why why WHY???
If it seems that I don't even try, believe me....I AM tryinggggg!!!still tryiiinnngg!!!
Sometimes I got tired. So I just paused for a moment or two.

du...du...du...du....

lagi sebel ama tu cowo!IKH!!insensitive!

ahhh never mind lahh....
laperrrr!!!
Dimana ya cari temen gay?

M.Y.O.B

kenape ye orang2 tu komeeeeennn mulu soal bandana gua....
semua pada bilang kaya dasi....
ya kalo emang pun itu dasi so what???
yang pake gua kok!
kalo itu ganggu elu ya jangan liat....as simple as that!

ada juga yg nyeletuk soal gua pake bandana....
EMANG NAPE KALO GUA MO PAKE BANDANA???GUA MO BUGIL KEK, MO JUNGKIR BALIK KEK....URUSAN GUA!!
ada yg ngeliat dengan tampang....'aneehhh tu anak pake bandana'
kalo menurut lu gua aneh pake bandana so what???dont give a shit!!i did it for me kok, not for people to see (apa lagi komen)!!!bandana bandana gua, rambut rambut gua, pala pala gua....mo ape lu???

ada lagi yang ngegodain gara2 gua pake celana pendek and spatu kets??whats the hell wrong with that??
ada yang bilang "tendang dong tendang"...ntar LU YANG GUA TENDANG!!!!

orang sini tu ye mulutnye minta dijejelin TAI!!!

gua pake rok....komen lagi....ntar gua bugil lu kaget!!!

PANTAT LU SEMUA!!!!
FUCK Y'ALL!!

back to normal

hehehehhe....
blog gua udah back to normal lagi..
senangnya...

tadi makan emi asun...kayanya ada cabe nyangkut di gigi neh....
agak2 pedes gitu soalnya...

it's only 2:30pm...udah ga niat kerja...hihihi....
it's friday se....after lunch biasanya otak gua uda kemana2...eheuhue....

lagi nyariin kardus....buat memusnahkan barang2 si mlb....ehehhe....
oh ye, rencana private room agak2 tersendat neh...
pertama, barang2 kan blon keluar semua
kedua, sliding door-nya rusak!!gimana mo punya kamar sendiri kalo pintunya copot???huaaaaaaa.....

this is our last friday without babeh....nanti dia balik kayanya bakalan bete de...serem nanti gua kebawa2....males banget da!

weekend ini ga mo kemana2 aja.....mo di rumah aja, beresin kamar...
pengen ke artha gading seh...lagi agak2 naksir spatu...tapi blon dicoba so ga tau bagus ato engga....
trus mo ke toko jepang tu...apa namanya?daiso??mo beli container...
mennn i love container...jadi inget container store di chicago...
agak2 weirdo se gua...demen se container...ehuehue...

gua juga suka liat toko stationary model2nya office depo....bhueheuhue....

nah uda mulai blur neh gua...bubuueuehue....
udah bener2 ga niat kerja...jejejejejje....

but somehow gua jadi agak2 hepi..perasaan tadi cuma makan emi doang plus minum teh kita...
ngomong2, gua minum teh kita 2 botol ye ni ari...masa gara2 sugar dari teh kita seh?baahhh...

should i close this case?

should i finish the war?
and join the peace on the other side?
i've been the outsider for a while

...................................

gua bingung...
masa se i must give up?
setelah 24 years of dissapointment...
gua musti change my heart at once?
ga gampang kaya ngebalikin telapak tangan
uda terlalu banyak duka!

masih bingung...
kayanya yang laen udah oke banget ama keadaan sekarang
ga bisa bilang apa2...
it's their choice
it's also my choice to be like today....

heran....
kok mereka bisa semudah itu...
kok gua engga?
jujur gua takut kena boong lagi
jujur gua takut disakitin lagi

masih heran....
kok bisa?
gua ga mo kalo nanti i have open my heart
then...JEGER!!here we go again!!!!
the pain i used to know...
so i thought i'd be better off tameng-in my heart
than diinjek2 lagi

no matter what my deepest heart masih ga percaya
or refuse to percaya?
no matter what my deepest heart want this peace

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

i know dia nyoba talk to me
i know dia ngerasa there's a distance i create
i know
i know....

============================================

apa gua si kepala batu?
apa gua sebenernya cuma seorang pengecut yang ga mo disakitin lagi?
yeee sape juga yg mao?

*******************************************

Rod Stewart

He looks like a suga daddy to me...
but once he open his mouth and sing...
I'm falling in love with his voice again and again...
that serak-serak sexy voice....

one of my favorite songs is "These Foolings Things", originally sang by Billy Holiday....

These Foolish Things

A cigarette that bears a lipstick's traces
An airline ticket to romantic places
And still my heart has wings
These foolish things remind me of you

A tinkling piano in the next apartment
Those stumblin' words that told you what my heart meant
A fairground's painted swings
These foolish things remind me of you

You came, you saw, you conquered me
When you did that to me
I knew somehow this had to be

The winds of March that make my heart a dancer
A telephone that rings but who's to answer?
Oh, how the ghost of you clings
These foolish things remind me of you

The scent of smouldering leaves the wail of steamers
Two lovers on the street who walk like dreamers
Oh how the ghost of you clings
These foolish things
Remind me of you

How strange, how sweet, to find you still
These things are dear to me
They seem to bring you so near to me

The sigh of midnight trains in empty stations
Silk stockings thrown aside dance invitations
Oh how the ghost of you clings
These foolish things
Remind me of you
Remind me of you
Remind me of you

error!

kayanye blogspot gua error!
ada yg loncat2 gitu seh postingan gua...hikkkss...

ah bodo amat lahh....

keeesssyyyeeellll!!!

heran ye yang namanya manager ato orang atasan sana kadang2 suka sesuka2 jidat seh!
tanda tangan aje ga mo liat2 dulu....
jelas2 ada klipnya, nah kalo ada klipnya pasti kertas lebih dari satu lembar tau!!!!
heran!
bikin naek darah aja...

hari ini sibuk di kantor....orang2 jadi pada jutek banget!
tu teammate gua aja yg satu jutek banget....i dont give a shit seh!bodo amat!

kesel...

jerawat

kunyuk!
tadi pagi jerawat gua pecah!darn it!
padahal gua udah ga mo pencet eee dia pecah...ya uda la sekalian...

another kunyuk!
ada calon jerawat di idung...wth?
kok jadi jerawatan seh?
gua stress tau!serius deh...

tadi sampe di kantor jem 7 kurang 10 kali...wong satpamnya aja blon dateng...masih gelaaapp!

ga tau hari ini bakalan kaya apa...
yang jelas lagi stress ama jerawat!gimana nih??gua streeesss!!!!
gua rajin cuci muka kok!trus kenapa jerawatan kaya giniiii??

argh!

God please please please please jangan bikin another jerawat lagii...moga2an yang diidung ga jadi jerawat...please please please please....cannot bear it anymooooorrrrreeeee.....please please please.....

my personal disaster

JERAWAT segede2 apaan di dagu gua!
tidaks!
jadi ga pede....
dagu rasanya beraaaaatt banget...
kalo ngakak sakit...
trus cekat cekot gitu seh....
uda bernanah!euuuwww....
ada matanya pula....
tapi kurang mateng..
blon bisa dipencet...
gemez banget!

i feel ugly ohhh soo ugly!
jerawat monyong
rambut gondrong
hati bisa bolong

lalalalalalalalalaaaaaaaaaaa

complaints, uneg-uneg, or whatever you wanna call it

turn down your voice volume when there's a person who trying to sleep = ME!!!!!
have respect!!!

jangan gedebak gedebuk kalo masuk kamar kalo ada yg lagi tidur!
use your brain a bit!

jangan sembarangan nyalain lampu kalo ada yang lagi tidur!D'OHHH!

you have your own house...use it well!!

if you need to stay over night, make the bed if you are the last person to leave it!
you ain't no princess!!!

don't be a lazy ass....you're a wife and a mother to be!act like one!

watch your mouth when you're talking to me....one day you'll be so damn sorry!
don't be a hypocrate....saying 'aku-kamu' to your girlfriend when you cannot speak politely to me!

naekin tegangan listrik di rumah since we desperatly NEED it!!

be more tolerant to other...stop singing out loud in the afternoon, people are tired and need some peace in the house!you're living with others!!!

be more sensitive towards people's feeling!watch your tongue!!!

asal asalan

gua ngantukkkk bangett...
hoaaahh...dadakan gitu seh....

semalem ke rumah si empe...ngobrol2 gitu lah...

hari ini nyetir sendiri...mood ga jelas juga...
ntar musti ke bank...transfer duit si gendut...

uda 2 hari ini my boobies kok rasanya jadi makin gede ye?masa gara2 ayam mcd seh?mate lah...kalo turun tangga jadi endol2an gitu...blaahhh....sakit taooo....

ngantuk ngantuk ngantuk ngantuk...
mo tidur...
semalem tidur enak banget...puleess....

ntar mo ngapain ye?hari ini di kantor ngapain?

one hour 40 minutes

pengen pulaaannngg....
makan sayur asemmm....berkuah2..enakk...yaammm...

pengen mandiiii....
pengen cukur rambut yang uda jelek banget...kayanya weekend ini cukur deh gua...udah ga tahan!
at least di rapiin aje dehh...ini uda ga ada bentuknya gitu loh...rambut gua ngembang....

pengen makan chiki..rasa kaldu ayam..enak...perasaan kemarenan udah gua abisin deh...ehehhe...

masih lama nehh....