Dari mataku....

Piko itu....
Anjing pertama yang gua kenal in my life...the one I had closest encounter with.
Dikenalin waktu gua kelas 2 smp.
Kesan pertama: GALAK!
Tapi I think we get along well.

Piko itu...
Anjing pertama yang gigit gua, dibetis....

Piko itu...
Rasa2nya suka sewot ama gua...soalnya gua demen banget isengin dia....
tiup-tiup dari bawah pintu, kekepin kupingnya, kekepin moncongnya, kekepin mukanya....
Dia suka keki ama gua, sampe akhirnya dia ga peduli lagi kalo gua godain...

Piko itu...
Ga mau digendong ama gua...udah sebel duluan kali yeee...

Piko itu...
Paling hobi nangkring deket gua kalo gua lagi makan...trus ngeliatin isi piring gua...and biasanya gua ga tega....soooo gua kasih makanan lah dia....

Piko itu...
Dulu suka gua ajak maen dikasur...garuk-garuk....
Dulu punya bantal kesayangan...suka gua rebut and dia murka ama gua....

Piko itu....
Paling suka kalo gua garuk-garuk dibelakang kuping and leher bawah....he simply cannot decided harus nengglek kemana kepalanya kalo gua lagi garuk kuping kiri dan kanan at the same time...

Piko itu...
Makin tua makin gendut...trus mulutnya bau...ga tau kenapa....tapi dia tetep ganteng...the most handsome pom ever!

Piko itu...
Kalo tidur lama-lama bisa celentang....ngorok pula...

Piko itu...
Ga pernah marah ama Pika even kadang si Pika suka kelewatan. He has a good heart. If he were a human, I think he'll be a great one!

Dear Piko,
It is through you that I realized I have heart for dogs. Thanks ya...
Have a pleasant life up there. I know you are gonna be a supper great dog as you always do.
It is surely super nice knowing you. :)

Garuk-garuk,
Me.

Gurnee Mills, Gurnee, IL

Went shopping at Gurnee Mills with PB.
That reptile store still freaking me out. I ran passed by it without even looking at it, like I always do. *grin*
Took a peek at Banana Republic Factory Store, T.J. Maxx, GAP, Abercombie & Fitch, and so on....on...on...
Kept the goodies I bought in my hands.
They were heavy, but I just didn't feel it. I was so happy.
So excited!
I smiled like I was never smiled before.

.....

It's all happen while I was sleeping.
Darn!

*I Miss Millioke and beyond*

today is my 2nd day

Been working at Bo Le Associates since yesterday.
Still in the learning process. Still don't know what to do and how to do it.
Here, we are all grown-ups. No one will remind or tell you what to do. You simply need intiative.

I have this job I need to do, but I'm just too lazy to do it right now. hohohoho...
Promise, will get this thing done by today.

Well, gotta back to work yow!

millioke...

strolled that old building complex
touched that old cold walls
felt the wind blow my face and hair
still can feel the coldness
wore the same black coat
stood on the same spot
breath the same old beer odor...

and then...
i woke up
i was in milwaukee....in my sleep....
i almost chocked....
i almost cried...

it was so real....

SPIDER PIG!

SPIDER PIG, SPIDER PIG, does whatever a SPIDER PIG does, can he swing, from a web, no he can't cause he's a pig. LOOOK OOOOOOOOOOOOUT, here comes the SPIDER PIIIG!

yeah, spider pig!!

baru pulang...

dari cicurug and bogor...
kesan hari ini...KENYANG!

tadi pagi ke JPCC...baru pernah tuh...
idup banget tu gereja....and kotbahnya oke banget...bulan ini lagi ngomongin soal pernikahan, family, relationship...gitu2 lah...so practical....sebenernya pengen liat lagi...pengen denger lagi...tapi ya minggu depan ga bisa....

song leadernya keren abis...gila gila gila gila and gua kaget banget pas dikasih tau dia umur 38!!!!whaaatttt???tiga-puluh-delapan tahun????????and punya 2 anak????
and he looks so bloody young....kaya orang umur 27 ato 28 gitu lah...
ampiiiirrr naksir gua...untungg kagaaa....
gaya asik banget, suaranya bagus, rambutnya oke, punya dimples, namanya bagus pula....aih!!aih aih aih...ga abis pikir deh gua....

mengapa ooohhhh MENGAPAAAA cowo oke di dunia ini is either taken or gay???MENGAPAAAAAA???
tenang, ni...tenangg.....one day, one day....cowo yang oke buanget buat lu lagi disiapin....tenaaannngg....*wink wink to the big guy up there*

n g a n t u k

ngantuk...
artinya sleepie...
artinya mau tidur..
artinya butuh tidur...
artinya mau peluk guling...
artinya mau masuk slimut...angettt...

tapi...
blum mau tidur..
mood tidur blum ada...

laper...
yaaahh.....
tadi padahal udah makan banyak...
kacauu...

aku...
mau apaaa....
lalalalalala....

not proud of these things!

losing my weight since the past 2 monts...
it's time for me to really eat up!

in the midst of complaining and asking stupid questions to the big guy up there
im human maaahh...
but im no ordinary human, im a positive human...so tomorrow i'll be back to the stronger me...

hehehehe....

die hard 4.0....checked!
harry potter 5....checked!
simpsons the movie....checked!
transformers....uncheck juga ga apa2 lah....
hehehehhe...

udah bersukur bisa nonton tuh pelem2 listed above...hehehhe...

trus ngapain aja ya kemaren?
i feel better, much better....walo kadang2 suka masih agak2 blank tiba2....
tapi langsung get my mind on something...
talking with people who cares really helps lighten my burden....sumpeh...i dont know what would i do without them....mungkin sekarang gua masih 'gila' kali ya....
and im glad im not!!!wooooohhhoooo...

oh ye minggu depan mulai tenis...yay!akhirnya...belajar juga...tau de bisa kaga...euehuehue...

Still learning ....

To love God more and to put Him as my first love object.
….Really don’t know how yet…please show me God….

How to forgive and forget.
….Coz I know ga ada gunanya benci sama orang karena itu cuma akan merugikan gua. Besides, apa lah artinya idup tanpa pengampunan?

To see things from God’s perspective or dengan kata lain belajar jadi orang positif
….Bener-bener ga gampang, coz it’s all in my head. Semua prediksi-prediksi yang gua pikirin itu blom tentu terjadi. Mungkin aja malah the other way around.

To hear God’s voice
….I’m not sensitive enough (yet).

To give thanks in all situation in my life, the good and the bad
….At the end, pasti the best thing happen for me from my God.

To have peace in me….
…in my heart….

To love my life
….dengan segala kekurangannya ….

To let go of all the things that didn’t happen as I wished it to happen

To fight and do everything in my power in life
….And memasrahkan hasil akhirnya pada Tuhan…

To grow up and how to be the bigger person in life

To stop questioning and start believing

To be less selfish
…and start thinking about other people. Di luar sana banyak banget orang-orang lain, dunia isinya bukan cuma gua dan masalah gua….di luar sana masih banyak masalah-masalah yang jauh lebih berat dibanding masalah gua….

To live one day at a time a.k.a jalanin aja
…since there’s literally nothing (nothing!) I can do about this.

After all, life is about learning, heh?
We never really graduate from this school of life until our last breath….

Should I?

Start drinking coffee again??
some inside, please?

By Anonymous

To smile when the heart is heavy
And all is full of ill
When the path of life is dull
When the roses have all dropped and died
And their perfume now all spent
When stream dash madly, wildly on
With fury giving vent
When birds are silent in the trees
Beneath a sky cast grey
Yes, to smile when the heart is breaking
And joy has taken flight
Is ever a courageous thing
And so precious in God's sight.....

the peace inside...

udah keluarin unek-unek...
udah beruraian air mata...
udah feel soooo much (much much much) better...
getting better everyday...
terima kasiiihhh.... :)

ada yang tolol.....

tadi gua pissed off banget!!
gara-gara ada yang tolol...super tolol!
after mikir mikir lagi...well, it's none of my business, tapi kenapa gua bisa pissed off ampe segitunya...
tau ga sih perasaan gemmmmeeesss kok ada orang tolol banget!!!
tau ga sih perasaan you've said everything you need to say, tetep aje tuh otak kaga kebuka...
it's all in your head!!it's all in your mind!
stop thinking....just thinking without never started doing anything!
toloooollll!!!!
you'd better listen other people....jangan keukeeeuuhh/keras kepala dengan pikiran sendiri yang ujung2nya ga jelas kemana....disiiiittttuuu ajaa....
kapan mau maju??
duuhh!!gua ga ngerti deh!!!
gemmmmeesss bangettt!!
tadi nih ya gua pengeeeenn banget nonjok, nendang, gampar, plus jedotin!!*sadis banget yaaakk!!*

enough about ketololan....
moving forward...

lagi juggling nih...should i start drinking coffee ato engga ya??
binguuunng....anyone?any idea?
sudah bertanya-tanya ama yang diatas sana....tetep blon dapet jawaban...

udah 2 hari ini gua lagi baca buku "How to Deal with Your Broken Heart", this is the second time I read this book.
yang pertama kan dulu cuma baca begitu aja....tapi the second time it really opens my horizon...
it's indeed a great book!

ngantuk!

another reminder (AGAIN!!)

lagi iseng iseng baca bulletin board di friendster yang biasanya males gua baca....
trus nemu ini...
"The moral of this story is that when
things don't seem to be going your way,
always know that God has a plan for you.
If you place your trust in him, God
will give you great gifts. We don't always know what God's plans
are for us. We just know that His ways
are not our ways, but His ways are
always best."

lagi lagi dan lagi....thanks ya God...

eniwei, baru balik dinner ama edrik...
had a great conversation about life....
kita emang grow up....emang kita harus grow up...
grow up is a choice...ehuehue...i choose to be one!
most people choose to be one!eheuheuhe....don't they?heuhuheue....

bits update about me...
toko udah slower....*fiuh*...tapi tetep aje gua musti mengabdi ampe akhir bulan...tapi ga apa2...demi sesuap nasi seraup berlian...ga apa2....aku relaaa.....lalalala....
trus trus udah ga sabar mau skating lagi....pasti kaki pegel2 deh...
trus mau pijet *iye bo, lu gua traktir!bawel!*
trus mau ketawa-tawa menggila ama temen2ku tercinta semuaaaa...
dan tak lupa pasang radar untuk datangnya sang belahan jiwa dari Tuhan....tuuttt...tttuuuttt....

campur aduk....

cape...tapi ga pengen istirahat
ga ngantuk...

kecewa...yes, banget....
well, kecewa udah makanan sehari2 yah...
kalo ditanya soal apa....apaan ye?pokoke kecewa aja....eheuheu....

percaya...yeap, percaya...
i surrender all my life to Him...

mau nangis...yes, mau nangis...
cuma ga jelas gara2 apa....and i know gua sedih bukan things that happen in my life...those tears weren't for me....ga tau buat siapa...aneh ya....*kendiiiiii, i blamed you!!!you put those thoughts in my head!!!kutttuuuu!!!*

2 hari yang lalu baca blog one of my friend....isinya gini...
"That day, it got me to think..... really, don't settle for anything less... I'm not saying that the other 2 churches are anything less than FAC, but don't lower your standard for something that GOD put in your heart..... because it's something that HE wants you to have..... I still couldn't believe, it's everything and more.... I just need to be patience.... for HIS timing is not ours....
and I guess, the same thing should apply to soulmate.... don't settle for anything less than what GOD intended me to have... no rush... I believe in HIS timing, and it's always perfect...."

another reminder....lagi lagi lagi dan lagi....im glad...really glad....beneran.... :)
terima kasih ya Tuhan ya....
Tuhan bener bener selalu ngingetin rini.....again and again....terima kasiiiihh yaaa.... :)
terima kaaassssiiihhh......

Thank You All!

hari ini....
i'm glad....
sangat sangat bersukur...
banyak banget orang orang disekitar gua yang bener bener sayang n care ama gua...
thanks banget buat doa dan supportnya selama ini...

hari ini....
perasaan gua ga keruan....
gelisah gitu bawaannya and i didn't know why...
cuma ati gua bilang kudu berdoa...ya sutra loh....
berdoa lah saya (padahal kaga tau mau doa soal apa)....
and i'm okay sekarang....
lega lah....heheheheh

my 300th post!

okay...
ini list film yang blom gua tonton...
1. die hard 4.0
2. transformers
3. harry potter 5

ada yang mau nemenin nonton kagaaaa?
i'm available early august....temenin dooonnngg....*narikin orang-orang yang mau ditariiikk*
pllluuueeaaaseeeee......haaiikkksss....

masih berjuang ....

di toko...
....hasil berjuang di toko:
- betis and tulang kering pada biru-biru gara-gara kejedot-jedot lemari
- dapet penghasilan...YAY!!
- dapet pilek plus batuk...batuknya udah mau sembuh...ehehehe...
- dapet free juice every single day

....yahh begitu lah...i cannot wait to go out and have fun!!!!!

tadi liat ....

on our way ke gading tadi ama family gua liat bulan sabit and bintang yang teraaaaaaaaang banget...
itu bulan sabit ama bintang bisa berjejer side by side gitu...and keliatannya ga jauh dari bumi...deket banget ama bumi malah....
seumur-umur baru pernah gua liat something like that....
hari gini di jakarta yang penuh polusi gua bisa liat bintang terang banget udah suatu anugrah!heuhuehue....

tadi ke gading....liat si ding-dong after quite sometime ga liat....
udah gede....
giginya udah ada 5 yang nongol, ada satu lagi on the way mau nongol...
udah bisa ngerangkak
udah bisa duduk sendiri tanpa harus dipegangin
bawaannya mau berdiri terus
ga bisa diem
demen kejer2 handphone
expresinya makin banyak...
lucu....
makin mirip bokapnya...

besok back to toko....capeee banget...ehuehuee....kacau lah...

yeeemm....

udah lama banget ga ngelongok dunia maya...
cek email and ada yang kirim email begini,
"besukur coz masih dikasih cobaan, krn itu artinya Tuhan punya keyakinan sama diri lu.
..... coz God believes in u."

darn....kalimat itu bener2 bikin gua lumer...selumer-lumernya....sekaligus bikin gua tenang...
thanks ya buat yang nulis itu.... :)
hehehhe...i love ya!

wah, baru inget...blom bayar cable!mateeeee....dohhh...moga2an ga diputus deh!

moving forward to my life...
let's see....what's new ya?uuummm....

lagi banyak-banyak berdoa....banyak banget...kayanya anytime gua pasti 'talkin' with Him...
lagi sibuk banget still talkin' to Him....

belakangan ini i'm tired...really tired....physically!pegel mak betis gua...eheuhue...
belakangan ini i have no life yow!
i need to go out and have fun.....
sabarrr, sabaarrr....sebentarrr lagi i will go out and make it official!yeaaah!!
dohh..pengen nonton neh....tapi tiada kawan....udah banyak pula pelem2 bagus yang kelewat!
ya sutra lah.....ga apa2...nanti juga bisa nonton lagi...ehehehe...

ngantuk!

eerrr # 2

akhir2 ini lagi seneng online...walo ga jelas juntrungannya...
akhir2 ini battling with myself...well, battling with my emotion sih sebenernya...and keadaannya imbang nih...i havent won the battle yet!darn!i will...i will...

trus apaan lagi yaaahhh??
nothing sih sebenernya...*nohhh kaann...ga jelas banget juntrungannya* heuheueu...

bego ahhh

too slow

waktu jalannya terlalu lambat...kenapa ga bisa dicepetin...
sehari berasa seminggu...

hari ini i asked God one question over and over again, what He want me to learn out of this whole thing?

belakangan ini...setiap bangun tidur ada satu kalimat yang popped in my head - 'Dan kucinta dia...'
aneh...aneh...anehh....beneran aneh...

capeeee deh...fisik and mental...
somehow ya...im glad kalo gua sakit...kan kudu makan obat tuh....jadi ngantuk...and ga perlu mikirin ato kepikiran yang aneh-aneh...
lately, my life is hard....
duh...roda kehidupaannn...kapan sih situ naek lagiii???

eeerrrr.....

lagi chatting ama one of my friends dari milwaukee, si comi.
he gave me some comforting insights about love and life.
ga tau mau jot down soal apa, tapi his opinion comforting aja.
biasa lah lelaki, logic banget...ehueheue...
one thing yang dia bilang, "dont assume too much!"
itu juga yang lagi gua coba....menjalani hidup ini dengan sebaik2nya...
the rest, gua serahkan ama yang di atas sana....

oh ye, i wanna say thanks to kendi for showing her butt up today at my house. i took it as God's confirmation that He doesn't want me to be alone even for a few hours during this time. and most importantly, it was God's confirmation that i would never be alone. i also wanna thank her for the hug. i need it!
Thanks ya!!!!!*huggiiiieeess*

oh ya lupa....

There was this girl whom I just met once, Dea.
She was about 9 years old.
And apparently dia uda kenal bokap duluan, trus waktu liat gua pertama kali dia tanya ke bokap.

Dea (D): Om, ini anaknya om ya?
Bokap (B): Iya.
D: Cantik ya....
Bokap mesem2 doang...

and as for me.....langsung kegirangan n bilang "makasiihh yaaaa!!"
she made my day yesterday. heuheuehue....

Accorcing to me, life is ....

About making choices. Hopefully, you make the right one.

About how you see things. There are 2 sides of a coin, and it depends on you on how you are going to see an event from.

About conflict. When you solve conflict A, conflict B is already waiting for you to be solved. A never ending set of conflicts.

About learning. And we will never stop learning until we stop breathing.

About achieve your happiness. So work your ass off.

Not about giving up!

hari ini....

cape banget...
kaki gempor banget
tenggorokan sakit...
kuya!

ada satu kejadian yang shocking banget...
gua tanya sama salah satu orang di toko, "ci, cinta sama om SL ga?"
trus dia langsung bilang 'engga!'....
gua tanya lagi, "seriuuusss ci????"
dia bilang, "iya seriiusss!" *pasang tampang serius banget*
nah...gua bingung deh, ngapain kawin from the first place?

dunia emang aneh-aneh aja....
geblek-geblek gini gua percaya sama pepatah "love conquer all"....
sounds so corny ya...tapi gua percaya....
aneh...ehuehueuhue....

this is gonna be a meaningless post....

beler....makan obat tadi...

ke toko....dagangan laris....terima kasih Tuhaaaannnku...

belajar jadi lebih kuat....and im working on it....

ngantuk...lalalalala....

ga mau tidur malem-malem ah...

lagi baca cosmopolitan...i love that magazine!

lagi belajar balance logic and perasaan...

i miss milwaukee....will go back to that city somehow, someday...

i miss my old apartment...sitting by that blue ikea desk watching the city lights....

aku cinta gulingku...

lagi berjuang untuk masa depanku...

the show must go on, with or without a him!

lagi mikirin dagangan...duh barangnya abis...stress barang dagangan kurang...

rambut udah panjang lagi nih...kudu cukur...

seriously thinking of checking up my health....

agustus!cepet doonngg dateeennnggg.....

kok jadi makin ngantuk yaa?

ah mau lanjut baca cosmo lagi ah...

take care people!!

akibatnya ....

akibat makan ga teratur belakangan ini, hari ini gua drop....teler....

akibat berdiri mulu di toko, betis gua keker and pegel-pegel....

akibat kepanasan di toko, berat gua turun lagi....kapan gedenya neh gua??

akibat tereak-tereak mulu di toko, leher gua sakit banget sekarang...

akibat punya barang dagangan di toko, punya penghasilan....hooorrrreee!!!

ga nyambung neh yang dibawah, tapi gua mau post ajah....hehehehe....
"Ya dan Tidak adalah jawaban yang paling dapat diterima hampir semua pertanyaan. It's Simple.!!"

I can't wait until August!!!

gerah!

gua lagi gerah sama orang yang ga jelas...
resenya ajubileh...
apa lagi sama orang yang ga tau maunya diri sendiri tuh apa...
bentar-bentar ngomong berubah-ubah....

gini gitu takut.....blom coba apa-apa takut...blon apa-apa udah jiper duluan!
mau result tapi ga mau usaha....

ga pernah liat something positif...negatif mulu yang diambil....
kapan mau happy?

little things take holds banget, and did something to prove yang sama sekali ga masuk akal, lagian mau prove apa?that you have the guts??childish banget!
if you do have one, you know exactly what to do kok!

too much excuses, there are thousands of valid excuses tapi yang penting tuh NIAT dari diri sendiri...niatnyaaa...itu aja...kalo emang ga niat ya susah ampe bego orang ngomong juga ga bakalan bisa deh!!!!!!

do you wanna grow up?dewasa itu pilihan....as simple as that!

pathetic!

ini blog gua...gua bisa post whatever i want to post!
buat siapa pun yang baca n berasa ketoel....who cares!!!?!?!

And....

It's over.
I've done everything in my power.
I've done my part (lebih sih sebenernya!DARN).
I'm done!

Enough is enough!

Things I learnt lately ....

Satu,
jangan takut menghadapi apapun dalam hidup generally. Jangan belum apa-apa udah ketakutan duluan.

Dua,
be positive! try to find the silver lining in every bad event. jangan mikir negatifnya doang, soalnya kalo gitu terus kapan mau majunya?

Tiga,
never make any decision base on impulse or emotion only. Karena that decision ga akan tahan lama. Never say you are ‘sure’ before you think thoroughly (using balanced logic and emotion).

Empat,
face your fear! Kalo ga begitu, you are always gonna be a coward.

Lima,
money is important. But it is not everything. Never put money above everything!!!! Dosa!

Enam,
belajar berserah diri ama Tuhan.

Tujuh,
belajar bersabar….dan ngertiin rencana Tuhan.

Delapan,
you are what you think!

Nanya ya...

What the hell is your point sih?
Really don't get it!
Tell me....apa gua yang bloon ato lu ya bloon?

Maksudnya apa sih?
Say if you feel okay, then what?
If you not feel okay, so what??

Maaaannn.....apaan sih maksud lu??

Last year, someone gave this ....

Titik terlemahku = titik terkuatku.
Titik jatuhku = titik kebangkitanku.
Titik terjauhku = titik terdekatku pada Tuhan.
16.06.06

It was out of the blue.
She suddendly handed me this little note she wrote and smiled.
And I was there, bengong literally, but I took it anyway since I thought it was so rude to refuse!
The weird thing is, I didn't throw it. Instead, I keep it in my drawer and while cleaning some old stuff today, I found it.
Didn't understand its meaning back there, but now I do. It's such a comforting note.
Thanks ya! :)

Ps. God has a funny and misterious way taking care of His children.

some scattered thoughts....

- saying good bye is not an easy thing to do -

- lagi di erha clinic, kelaperan -

- i need to be strong....for me! -

- he left me.....biar lahh....bai-bai -

- pegel berdiri nih, tapi demi internet gratis...heheh -

- dingin nih -

- i promised myself, last night would be the last time i cried over the same stuff -

- it's time to shape up -

- it's time to look forward and never look back -

- it's time to move all the craps out of my life -

- spatu pink nike yg kemaren bagus ya....manis *wink wink to kendi* -

- belakangan ini hidupku penuh warna abu-abu -

- cari warna lain ah....yang kinclong.... -

- i'd like to get married someday -

- i will get married someday -

- i'd like 2 boys, please :) -

- kaskus.us errorrrrrr...yaaahhh -

- hari ini ujan seharian...still loving the rain -

- besok kudu semangat...yak yak yak...smangat smangatt! -

- aku masih banyak harus belajar tentang hidup, diriku, dan rencana-Nya -

- i'm not alone...i never alone... -

- mak gua kemana ya??kok ngilang...wah kacau -

- ini semua rasa sayang mau dikemanain ya?? -

- L A P E R -

- right at this moment, i believe that God's preparing me and someone out there to meet up and get married deh -

- i will meet him someday, when the time is right -

- kangen ding dong, ntar mampir ah -

- wah...mak beneran menghilanggg!!! -

- im a scattered person, heh?? -

I'm ....

--------------------------------------
Under Construction
--------------------------------------

On Saying Goodbye....

"If we are meant to be, we are gonna be in the same path called Love somehow, someday....."

-M.H.-

waktu ...

ga bisa diulang...
ga bisa diambil lagi...
ga bisa dicepetin....
ga bisa dilamain...
ga bisa di-paused...

cuma bisa dijalanin doang...

I wish I had that life remote kaya di film Click
hehehhee....ngayal boleh dong!

I'm trying....

Hang in there....
In the midst of my empty heart.....

haiyaaahh...
sabtu kelabu nih...
di rumah doang....lama2 begini bisa mati bego...

moga2an besok rammmmeeeee banget jadi ga ada waktu buat mikir yang aneh2...
biar cape banget, biar semaput pas pulang....biar langsung tidur.....

sepi yah....sepi banget.....haiiikkksss....sepi sepi sepi sepi sepi sepi sepi sepi sepi sepi....

hhuuummmppppffttt....

hari ini tanggal....

dua puluh dua juni...

yep....
dua puluh dua juni....

Correction.....

babi putih dan babi item maen ama laba-laba diawasin sang putri-putri raja
*laris laris mannniiiisssss...kepret-krepret duit keatas barang dagangan*

Bummer!

Ke toko...
Arrange some stuff on display....
Ate hot noodle...
Mencret-mencret dengan suksesnya....well, it wasn't the noodle's fault sih, more to padang hot sauce crab we ate last night...
To add the bummer-ness of my day, idung mampet...kaga bisa napas...
Ini udah megap2 kaya ikan keluar dari aer...
Nenggakkin po chai pills udah 3 botol hari ini, ganti haluan ke imodium saking udah parahnya...
Perut suakkiiitttnya ngajubileh..mules2 gitu deh...

sekian ulasan hari ini....

scattered

lagi pengen marah-marah, tapi ga pengen keluarin tenaga buat marah2....

tadi nyetir di kala ujan geeeuuudddeeeee banget....i enjoyed it sih...ehuehue....sendirian dikala ujan....aih...sebenernya lebih enak ada yang nemenin sih, tapi ya apa daya diboil sendirian...eheuhe...ya dienjoy ajeeee....

ke gading, liat my little ding dong...masih ngenalin gua...hihihi...senangnya...
still can smell baunya dia...ehuehuehue....

dagangan hari ini oke...senangnya...

oh ye, waktu ke glodok 2 hari yang lalu tuhh...masa ada abang2 bajaj kencing ditengah jalan men...cuma dia tutupin pake pintu bajajnya...AMIT2 BANGET!!indonesiaaa ooohh indonesiaaa..kapan mau majuuu coba??ckckckck...

banyak nyamuk nih...

besok ke toko deh...rapiin dagangan...ehehehe...excited...
tapi pasti panas banget deh...

ga mau tidur malem2 ah...
udah ngantuk....
gua cape....physically and mentally....ehuehuehue.....parah!

tidur ahh....

Clearly ....

We are not on the same page
.......

kalimat ini....

"babi item dan babi putih temenan ama laba-laba."

*terinspirasi dari barang dagangan*

Note: sampe kebawa2 mimpi nih dagang....euheuheu....gilaaaa....

Ditulis 14 Juni 2007

Hiruk-pikuk pasar mewarnai waktuku.
Hilir-mudik mengisi pandanganku.
Ramai! Rusuh! Heboh!
Orang-orang terlalu berisik.
Derungan knalpot mobil dan motor terlalu ribut.
Teriakan trompet kendaraan bermotor memekik telinga.
Kabut karbon dioksida beracum berjejal-jejalan mengisi paru-paru.
DIAM! SEMUA DIAM!

Dengarkan detak jantung kalian. Bersyukurlah jikalau kamu masih bisa mendengarnya. Tandanya kamu masih hidup.
Aku bersyukur aku masih hidup.

Sekarang, coba dengarkan suara hatimu. Masihkah ia disana?
Hmm...Hening. Hei...hei...kemanakah dia?
Sunyi...Mungkin dia tertidur. Coba kuintip...
Hei...hei....tidak ada tanda-tanda kehidupan.
Tak yakin juga, coba kulongok...Benar-benar sepi.
Dia tidak disana.

Aku....aku berdiri ditengah-tengah hamparan kosong hatiku...
Kenapa semuanya gersang? Tiada lagi taman penuh warna dan bunga. Semua mati!
Tiada lagi tabuhan lembut ombak bergulung-gulung. Kering!
Sekarang hanya ada tanah retak diterpa kemarau tak berkesudahan.
Sekarang hanya ada lautan kering yang kupikir tak akan pernah mengering.

Hai...hatiku hampir mati.
Aku tidak punya hati yang utuh lagi, karena dia telah membawa sebagian besar hati ini.
Aku berdoa supaya dia yang membawa hatiku tidak menyia-nyiakannya.
Aku berlutut di depan yang Maha Kuasa untuk keutuhan hatiku yang hancur untuk kedua kalinya.
Aku masih ingat rasa sakitnya, perihnya, pilunya dan dalamnya luka itu. Luka yang kupikir tak akan pernah kembali.
Ternyata aku salah besar! Dia kembali! Kali ini lebih dasyat.
Lalu apa yang harus kulakukan?
Sering aku terisak di kegelapan malam. Tanpa kata, tanpa kawan. Hanya aku dan air mataku.

Simfoni ini bukan untuk melagu...
Simfoni ini bukan untuk berdendang...
Simfoni ini simfoni buta nada.
Simfoni ini simfoni kekelaman hati ini.
Simfoni ini simfoni kegalauan hati ini.

.......

let's see....

Hari ini ke toko...as usual...
Dagangan stationary lumayan loh...thanks God...
Mood juga okay hari ini...
Lagi ga mikirin soal cinta...ehuehue...
Semuanya kupasrahkan saja...the best is yet to come....
Jelas2 lagi mikirin soal cari duit...huehuehue....

Banyak nyamuk di rumahku....uuu....uuu....
Jempol kaki dihajar juga...duhh...gatell!!tapi ga bisa digaruk..

*ga mutu banget ya isinya nih entry, abis tangan gatel pengen update*
hehehehe....

hik....

sedih....
sedih....
sedih....
sedih...
sedih banget....

Tarian Jemari

Aku adalah manusia tak bernada dan tak berlagu.
Pita suaraku buruk.
Hanya tarian jemari yang mewakili diriku.
Tarian sepi tanpa nada dan lagu.
Uraikan kata coba ungkap isi hati.

Lahan putih menuntun supaya kata-kata tersusun rapi dan lurus.
Kuinginkan hal yang sama dalam hidupku, rapi dan lurus.
Tanpa kelokan-kelokan maut yang dapat menerjunkan aku ke jurang tak berujung.
Tapi kenyataan berkata lain.
Hidup yang kujalani seratus delapan puluh derajat dengan keinginanku.
Patutkah aku menyalahkan Sang pencipta?

Aku hanya manusia.
Tidak sempurna dan tidak akan pernah sempurna.
Keinginanku kadang tidak masuk akal.
Emosiku kadang meluap-luap tergodok darah mudaku.
Logikaku kadang mati.
Kadang aku hidup tanpa arah.
Hanya berpasrah pada hembusan angin.
Terserah...kemana aku mau dibawa.
Aku pasrah!

Tarian ini bukan tanpa makna.
Tarian ini torehan pena hidupku.

Dikala sepinya hidup, aku berlari menuju lahan putih.
Dia yang dapat mendengarkan celotehan-celotehanku.
Dia tidak pernah menghakimiku.
Dia diam seribu bahasa.
Dia yang akan menyimpan berjuta memoriku...
Cuma dia....

ngaco nih....

dunia ohh dunia emang uda menggila...

kadang dia kejam...
kadang dia menyenangkan...
kadang dia bikin orang naek darah...
kadang dia ngebingungin...
kadang dia nge-bt-in...
kadang dia bikin orang mau marah...
kadang dia bikin orang tak bedaya...

blak blak blak...keteplak!!

oh begitu...

Kalo lu emang mau menghindar dari gua....ngomong aja....
ga usah 'kabur' segala....
ga usah ngomong dengan nada yang ga enak kalo ditelpon ama gua...
and dont call me just because ga enak ati....JUST DON'T!!!!

Don't you have the guts to talk to me?

MENGECEWAKAN!

cerita hari ini....

midnight...
cabut ke RS Mitra Keluarga Gading. My little Ding-Dong got hospitalized. I cried (well, not cried sih, tapi ngembeng gitu lah) when the nurses put the needle into her pembuluh darah!HORRIBLE!
Thanks God she's okay today. :)
Pulang jam 2 pagi....teparrrr....

5:50am
Bangun....cari teh since mata sepet banget, sikat gigi, mandi, ganti baju...bengong2 depan tipi...
By 7:00 am I'm done.

7:25 am
Jalan menuju Trisakti. Mau nonton pertandingan Judo. Pikirnya tol macet, so decided to take a joki instead. Tapiiii apa mau dikata...sepanjang jalan sampe kuningan kaga ada jokinya....sekalinya ada, tampangnya kaya garong....ga jadi deee seremm...daripada dirampok (AMIT2 jangan sampeee) mendingan kena tilang ato nyogok polisi aja deh....
Tibalah kita di lampu merah kuningan and sang joki yang ditunggu2 ga ada juga....ya sutra...belaga gila aja (ato kalo kata gua f*ck it!)....so jadi deh kita lewatin daerah 3 in 1 tapi cuma berdua....pake acara berdoa segala supaya tuh polisi kaga ada yg ngeliat kita cuma ber-2....
Thanks to Kendi yang kept me occupied with the round and round talking (since dia sendiri juga tegang!) supaya gua ga tegang....
alhasil....slamet lah kita lewatin rawa 3 in 1.....Thanks to God yang dengerin doa kita....ehehehhe...

8:00
Tibalah kita di Trisakti. Salah arah waktu mau cari tempat parkir...walah...kacau...untuuunng ga ada mobil laen....
Bermodalkan PD, ke-ga-tau-maluan, and HP melangkah lah kita cari gedung serbaguna, tempat dimana tanding judo diadakan....eehh ketemu...it was a piece of cake...ye bo ye?

9:00
Pertandingan di mulaaaaiiii!!banting sana banting sini...pengalaman baru lah liat tanding judo...ehuehue.....
Thanks to olwin yang ngundang kita....

12:00
Pulang lah kita dari trisakti....abis makan ayam bakar yang kebanjiran kecap....ga kira2 tuh mbaknya nuangin kecapnya...ckckck....tapi mending lah gua....daripada ada yg makan nasi goreng bonus lalet goreng (gede lagi) *lirik2 orangnye* euhueheue...gila tu tempat...amit2!

1:00pm
sampe lah di rumah...
nongkrong dulu di cawang....ngobrol2...yg makan nasi goreng lalet minta ayam karage 6 potong...eheuheuhue....

3:00pm
anterin si pemakan lalet pulang....waktu balik ke cawang macet banget yaakkk...sampe rumah lagi jam 4:30....

5:30pm
cabs ke tebet ama edrik....we had a great conversation...sharing lah basically....People grow over time ya....gila....jaman sma dulu mah ngocehin ulangan, sekarang ngocehin hidup...aih aih...aihhh...
By 8:30pm...pulang lah ke rumah....

Now
online dehh...liat2 whats new.....

dot dot dot dot....

Denyut nadi berlomba dengan derasnya aliran darah. Kepalaku pening….

Pikiranku penuh kabut. Seperti asap rokok yang kehadirannya tidak dikehendaki. Ia datang dan menggangu.

Satu pil yang kutenggak tadi tidak menunjukkan kekuatannya. Kepala ini tetap pening. Pikiran ini masih berkabut. Berapa banyak pil lagi yang harus kutenggak sampai akhirnya kepalaku dapat tenang?

Otakku kaku. Hatiku beku. Jiwaku layu. Ah…semuanya kacau!

Adakah gerangan yang mengerti rintihan naluri ini?

Detak detik-detik jam dinding kamarku adalah kawanku malam ini dan mungkin malam-malam yang akan datang.

Pil-pil itu masih ada disini. Apa harus kutenggak lagi? Tapi rasa-rasanya mereka tidak akan berguna. Otak ini tetap kaku. Hati ini tetap beku. Jiwa ini tetap layu.

Jiwaku mendendangkan lagu pilu yang menyayat kalbu. Lirih. Perih. Sedih.

Iris saja raga ini sampai nafasku tak bersisa. Lalu bakarlah!

Lepaskan setengah sisa raga ini ke tengah lautan. Biarlah aku mengapung bebas dalam relung-relung samudra menelusuri muka bumi. Sendiri. Hanya sisa ragaku dan hati bekuku.

Terbangkan setengah sisa raga ini ke langit biru. Biarlah aku menerawang di angkasa menerobos gerumulan gumpalan-gumpalan kapas diatas sana. Sendiri. Hanya sisa ragaku dan hati bekuku.

Aku yakin, suatu saat diantara bumi dan angkasa aku akan menemukan kebahagiaanku…

Hanya untukku….

Should I?

Spending the whole day at home...

....Thinking....

Thinking about learning ice skating seriously. From the very basic....
How ya?

hockey break....

zuuuiinng....zuuuiinnngg....zuuinngg...zuuiinngg...
SRROOOKKK!!

bunyi hockey break-ku....hehehhe...
i'm getting there...or am i there already?

senangnya...
emang ga jago main skating, but i'm always happy kalo disana...
i don't know why....
hehehehehhe....
skating skating ooohh skatingg...kucintamuuu....dung dung dung dunnnggg....

clingak-clinguk...

aih....
dunia sepi banget nih...
pada kemana kahh?
migran dari tadi kaga ilang-ilang...
problema kehidupan menghantui...
semoga segalanya akan baik-baik saja...
cape nurutin orang melulu...
skali-kali mau dong ngelakuin apa yang menurutku oke...
skali-kali pengen make decisions without mikirin perasaan orang lain...
egois?
sekali-kali perlu kali ya....

aku mau happy....itu aja...nothing more, nothing less....

dung dung dung dung dung dung.....
money money money....$$$$

ps. i love pink!

This is exactly how I feel

I wonder if you know how special you are to me.

I wonder if it shows how wonderful I think you are...

Or how many times a day I think of you...

Or how excited I feel

whenever I look forward

to being with you

and holding you close.

I wonder if you can read my mind

or see into my heart

and know how happy I am to have you in my life.

Sometimes I don't know how to let you know...

But if I ever imagined

someone perfect

for me,

to be my love

and share my life

it would be someone

exactly like you...

And i

just wondered

if you knew....

(Ellen Brenneman)

Dear God,

If you want me to wait...I will...that's okay....the best is yet to come...

Thanks for everything, God...Really....thanks...

Love,

Your kid.

about ice skating

i had fun last night...
went skating...
seru...
anak-anak itu membuat aku melupakan masalahku for few hours...
ketawa-ketawa sampe pipiku sakeeett...pegel...
suara abis...tenggorokan kering ampe batuk batuk...
lucu....
thanks guys....

scattered....

tadi ada razia di deket buaran....
me got stopped by 2 different polices on the same spot...stupid!

makan pempek2 barusan...kok mendadak sakit perut ye?

got my hair cut...aseeeekkk....
dibayarin nyokap....lebih aseeekk lageehh!!kamsia maaaa....

ke gading....

otak mampet!
hati butek!

lalalalala.....

tadi nyanyi2 laik krezih di kamar....sendirian....seru...

nulis-nulis...banyaakk banget...

dapet duit dadakan....thx god....ga gede sih....but still...euehue...duit bebeh!

everytime i hold my niece in my arms, i want a baby of my own....
pengen married, punya rumah tangga sendiri, punya anak....hhheeemmm....

banyak nyamuk nih...digigitin ga jelas gini...

besok main skating...

mulai ga kenal ama orang yang dulu rasanya gua kenaaalll banget....ooo well.....

yang terjadi biarlah terjadi...

pengen liburan....keluar kota....yang jaaauuuhhhh....

jadi suka warna pink....ghehehhehe

5 Ways God Uses Problems

I think this is a good reading....please enjoy.... :)

1. God uses problems to DIRECT you.
Sometimes God must light a fire under you to get you moving. Problems often point us in a new direction and motivate us to change. Is God trying to get your attention? "Sometimes it takes a painful situation to make us change our ways." Proverbs 20:30

2. God uses problems to INSPECT you.
People are like tea bags...if you want to know what's inside them, just drop them into hot water! Has God tested your faith with a problem? What do problems reveal about you? "When you have many kinds of troubles, you should be full of joy, because you know that these troubles test your faith, and this will give you patience." James 1:2-3

3. God uses problems to CORRECT you.
Some lessons we learn only through pain and failure. It's likely that as a child your parents told you not to touch a hot stove. But you probably learned by being burned. Sometimes we only learn the value of something...health, money, a relationship... by losing it. "It was the best thing that could have happened to me, for it taught me to pay attention to your laws." Psalm 119:71-72

4. God uses problems to PROTECT you.
A problem can be a blessing in disguise if it prevents you from being harmed by something more serious. Last year a friend was fired for refusing to do something unethical that his boss had asked him to do. His unemployment was a problem - but it saved him from being convicted and sent to prison a year later when management's actions were eventually discovered. "You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good... Genesis 50:20

5. God uses problems to PERFECT you.
Problems, when responded to correctly, are character builders. God is far more interested in your character than your comfort. Your relationship to God and your character are the only two things you're going to take with you into eternity. "We can rejoice when we run into problems... they help us learn to be patient. And patience develops strength of character in us and helps us trust God more each time we use it until finally our hope and faith are strong and steady." Romans 5:3-4

Here's the point:
God is at work in your life - even when you do not recognize it or understand it. But it's much easier and profitable when you cooperate with Him.

....couldn't sleep just yet....

...without him...

this world I have been living seems and feels so empty....

...without him...

this soul is lost...

...without him...

I cannot breath

...without him...

I lost my grip

...without him...

this heart lost its beat

...without him...

I must survived on my own!!

kulalui akhir minggu ini dengan berpikir....

sedih banget....
baru bener2 nyadar kalo dia itu bagian dari hidupku....
bagian yang besar...sangat besar....
bagian yang dalam...sangat dalam...
bagian yang berarti...sangat berarti...

*you are a part of me that I cannot erase...ever!*

I miss you, with all my heart.....

sigh....

heheheheheeee....

Ya Tuhan...
Kalo dia memang jodohku...
Dekatkanlah...

Ya Tuhan...
Kalo dia bukan jodohku...
Jodohkanlah...

Ya Tuhan...
Kalau dia jodoh orang lain...
Putuskanlah... Jodohkanlah denganku...

Ya Tuhan...
Kalau dia sudah milik orang lain...
Berikanlah orang lain itu jodoh yang lain...
Jodohkanlah dia denganku...

Ya Tuhan...
Bila dia memang benar-benar bukan jodohku...
Jangan sampai dia dapet jodoh yang lain
Lalu jodohkanlah denganku...

Ya Tuhan...
Bila memang kami tidak berjodoh...
Biarkanlah kami terbengkalai tanpa jodoh...
Lalu jodohkanlah kami...

Amin.

*kocak banget...thanks to the above 'prayer' i can laugh today*

as simple as....

I HATE YOU!

yes, you!

this morning i feel....

laper - didn't have my dinner last night

cranky - this is the time of the month

sebel - sisa yang kemaren

mumet - mau kluar rumah aje....

puyeng nih....

lagi sebel...
yes, aku lagi sebel...
mao jitakin orang....
nendang juga boleh....kalo ada yang rela ditendang...heuheuhue...

-----------------------------------------------

glepak!
mau jalan2 suka2 jidat...mao jalan pake jidat juga boleh kalo bisa....
lalalalala..

aseli ga jelas banget...eheuheu...

padahal....

Padahal…
Dia pergi ga jauh….Cuma nyebrangin pulau jawa aja….tapi rasanya dia pergi jaaaauuuuhhhh banget….
Padahal….
Dia pergi ga lama….Cuma 3 hari aja….tapi rasanya dia pergi laaammmmaaa banget…
Padahal…
Blom lama ngobrol ama dia….baru kemaren…tapi rasanya udah laaammmaa banget ga ngobrol…

Aneh!

this is out of the blue....

If spring follows winter,
if a rainbow follows the storm,
if morning follows the night,
then happiness must follow sorrow.

Don't lose hope.
Things will get better!

*thanks God....for eveything*

hari ini....

was okay....
well, it was good....
ga banyak mikir yang aneh2...cuma mikirin gimana caranya dapet duit banyak!hueheuhue...bloon!

i miss coffee.....duhhh...ngajubileh tiap cium bau-nya....iler ampe luber2 gitu....hikkkss....

.....

selamat tinggal cinta
semoga kita bertemu di lain hari
dan bila kita tak berjumpa
kuatkan kaki ini untuk berjalan lagi
bangkitkan semangat jiwa
tetapi bila kita bertemu lagi
semoga kita menjadi satu nyawa....

M A L E S

males ngapa2in...
males ngomong...
males diskusi...
males disalahin lagi...
males nyalahin diri sendiri lagi...
males dicurigain....
males disebelin...
males dimarahin...
males mikir...

males males males males males males males males....

JLEB!*shutting down my world*

2 things....

one,
yesterday, we found out that Crispy Kreme's white chocolate donought tastes so DAMN good!!chocolate fudgenya itu lohhhh.....waaaaaa.....

two,
kemaren waktu lagi mau makan di food court kan nyariin mas-mas yg bersiin meja....clingak clinguk...ehh tiba2 ada cowo bilang gini, "TANTE, kalo mau minta angkat sama yang pake baju item!"
HAH???TANTEE???do i look that old?perasaan kaga...dandanan juga bisa aja...cuma pake kaos polo and no make up at all....dunia gila kali!

yahh begitu lah....

26 years of me ....

I supposed to be excited today....
I supposed to be happy today...

instead...

I cannot wait until this day is over....FAST(er) please...

it's a matter of time....

In this hurt time, I’m down on my knees and pray…
That someday we will be together again….
It’s just a matter of time…God’s time….

ada yang bilang begini ...

"Kesedihan dan kerinduan hanya terasa selama yang kamu inginkan dan menyayat sedalam yang kamu izinkan, yang terberat adalah bukan mengatasi kesedihan dan kerinduan, tapi bagaimana belajar darinya…”

16.05.2007 via sms

thanks ya!

5 rules to be happy!

Remember the five simple rules to be happy:
1. Free your heart from hated.
2. Free your mind from worries.
3. Live simply.
4. Give more.
5. Expect less.

No one can go back and make a brand new start.
Anyone can start from now and make a brand new ending.

God didn't promise days without pain, laughter without sorrow, sun without rain, but He did promise strength for the day, comfort for the tears, and light for the way.

Disappointments are like road humps, they slow you down a bit but you enjoy the smooth road afterwards. Don't stay on the humps too long. Move on!

When you feel down because you didn't get what you want, just sit tight and be happy, because God is thinking of something better to give you. When something happens to you, good or bad, consider what it means .... There's a purpose to life's events, to teach you how to laugh more or not to cry too hard.

You can't make someone love you, all you can do is be someone who can be loved, the rest is up to the person to realise your worth.

The measure of love is when you love without measure.
In life there are very rare chances that you'll meet the person you love and loves you in return. So once you have it don't ever let go, the chance might never come your way again.
It's better to lose your pride to the one you love, than to lose the one you love because of pride.

We spend too much time looking for the right person to love or finding fault with those we already love, when instead we should be perfecting the love we give.

When you truly care for someone, you don't look for faults, you don't look for answers, you don't look for mistakes. Instead, you fight the mistakes, you accept the faults, and you overlook the excuses.

Call Me Irresponsible - Michael Buble

This is another great album by Michael Buble.
I love the song collection.
Some of them relates to my current situation in life.
DANG!
Masih sebel kalo inget konser Michael Buble yang di cancel gara2 bom Bali taon 2005 kemaren….sebaalll!!
Padahal tiket udah ditangan tuh….coba kalo ga ada itu bom…pasti gua uda nonton Mr. Buble!! I love you Mr. Buble!!!!
Well, mungkin gua ga bisa nonton dia sekarang….kali2 aja nanti yah….amiiiinnn…

Thanks to teti yang beliin CD-nya.....

Sabtu Malam di Bar Capung

The Place: Dragonfly Bar

The Day and Date: Saturday, 12 May 2007

The Time: 11 pm-ish

The Participants: Andi, Kendi, Olwin, and I.

The Ride: Silky Silver Met. Swift GL (correct me if I’m wrong)

The Drinks: 1 Baileys Single, 1 Cointreau Single, 1 Long Island Tea, 1 Strikes Back (1 dozen shot), 1 Urban Sector (1 dozen shot), 1 Evian

The Food: 1 Fried Squids *lirik yang mesen…defeat the purpose of clubbing nih!*

There we were arrived at the Dragonfly around 11 pm-ish…almost 11:30 I guess.
The crowd wasn’t that packed just yet. We ordered ourselves a drink; exclude Andi since he was the driver. Thanks for being so responsible. J

We ordered 1 dozen shot…ada yang semaput, aer mata naek, nutupin mulut pake tissue *nunjuk2 perempuan yang pake baju biru semalem*…padahal baru minum dikit banget….iikkhh…bikin maluu!!!
Her defense sih katanya nihhh….katanya nihh…dia bilang thanks to me dia jadi trauma ama alcohol gara2 on her bachelorette night dia dicekokin alcohol ama gua….hueuehueue…
Andi minum dikit banget….1 cocktail and setengah shot…hihihi…kan supirr..kudu nyetirrr….ga boleh mabok donnnggg….
Olwin minum banyak aje…tapi dia ga mabok!ah…dunia emang ga adil!!masi hyper iya tu anak…ga sopan!
I drank lumayan banyak….10 shots kayanya ada deh…gila juga….tipsy tentunya….

We (at least I) had fun last night. I danced like I never danced before (ternyata stamina gua ok juga). I laughed and cried my heart out.
Semalem seru banget…haven’t had such a great time in a loooonnggg time…..

Pagi ini puyeng puyeng dikit…ehuehue….kacau deh….tapi sekarang udah oke lagi kok…besok back to work….cari duit lagi…

I thank all the participants for a great night! Makasih, makasih and makasih….

I made a mistake

I MADE A MISTAKE!

I need to make things right!

jadi sedih....

lagi browsing friendster.....
then liat profile salah satu temen di milwaukee jaman dulu....
trus baru sadar kalo dia udah ga ada...
padahal belom lama kayanya suka ngobrol lewat icq (yes, icq!)...
trus kalo jumat malem suka ketemuan di UWM's court....
itu jaman anak2 suka maen basket dari jam 10 malem ampe 3 pagi...
he was there....most of the time...
i also remembered pernah nebeng dia ke purdue, indiana...gara2 ada purdue cup....i was in my first semester back then...
inget banget dia ngantuk trus musti nenggak pil kafein...waktu dia lagi nenggak pil itu gua yang pegangin setir mobilnya...ehehehhe....

dia uda married, has one baby boy. he lived a happy life, until God brought him home around Feb 2007.

he was adorable. he was nice.
it was nice knowing someone like you, man!

have a peaceful rest.

lalu what's up with me?

lalu lalu...trus trus....
biasanya si dikomplain kalo lagi in the middle of ngobrol bilang gitu...hehehhe...

half of today didn't go very well...lagi bad mood gitu maksudnya...
sampe mau ke buaran aja masih mumet rasanya...
then, jalan ke buaran ngebuuuuutt...karena mau kasih name card....berlomba dengan waktu....
durutrutrut....terereretttt....

then, tibalah gua di buaran...eeehh....kudu ngecek settingan and aslinya....
ngecek deh gua....few details ada yang salah....trus cabut de...bawa foto copy settingan...minta clientnya aja yang cek lagi sendiri and paraf kalo uda selesai...gua ga mau disalahin dong...ehuehue....

then, i was off to gading....ngebut lagi...since udah telat...janji jam 4 sampe sana jam 5 kurang....
serahin the name card...trus cabut....ngebut lagi ke cawang...
prayed hard supaya ga macet....God heard my prayer....thanks to God....fiuhh...jalanan gading-cawang ga macet...ehehhe....lega...
sampe rumah jam setengah 6 kurang...eheuhue...

gara2 ga macet my mood okay banget sampe sekarang....seratus delapan puluh derajat berubah....jadi happy...hehehe...
kayanya i need to go out of the house deh...ga bisa setiap hari di dalem rumah doang....lama2 jadi cranky!parah!

sekarang...here i am.....
iseng doang...ehuehueeh....
btw, my little niece wake up....mewek....i love her....lucu...ehuehuehue....

Everything by Michael Buble

This is my favorite song at the moment....take a look at the chorus....simple and beautiful....
I love you Mr. Buble!!!!!!!!
Lyrics courtesy of www.lyricsmode.com.

You're a falling star, You're the get away car.
You're the line in the sand when I go too far.
You're the swimming pool, on an August day.
And you're the perfect thing to say.

And you play you're coy, but it's kinda cute.
Ah, When you smile at me you know exactly what you do.
Baby don't pretend, that you don't know it's true.
Cause you can see it when I look at you.

[Chorus:]
And in this crazy life, and through these crazy times
It's you, it's you, You make me sing.
You're every line, you're every word, you're everything.

You're a carousel, you're a wishing well,
And you light me up, when you ring my bell.
You're a mystery, you're from outer space,
You're every minute of my everyday.

And I can't believe, that I'm your man,
And I get to kiss you baby just because I can.
Whatever comes our way, ah we'll see it through,
And you know that's what our love can do.

[Chorus:]
And in this crazy life, and through these crazy times
It's you, it's you, You make me sing
You're every line, you're every word, you're everything.

So, La, La, La, La, La, La, La
So, La, La, La, La, La, La, La

[Chorus:]
And in this crazy life, and through these crazy times
It's you, it's you, You make me sing.
You're every line, you're every word, you're everything.
You're every song, and I sing along.
'Cause you're my everything.
yeah, yeah

So, La, La, La, La, La, La, La
So, La, La, La, La, La, La, La

tiada judul ....

lagi ngerasa apa ya?
ga jelas...kecewa kali ya...ama diri sendiri...

lagi mikir apa ya?
ini lebih ga jelas lagi...lately, i dont know me...
ga tau apa yang lagi dipikirin...
i haven't get in touch with my self for quite a while...

ga tau maunya apa?
kalo boleh milih buat pergi jauh sih i'd rather do that daripada being here...

so what's up?
nothing really, it's just me and my empty mind...

i wish i could done things differently...really...
as of now, i feel alone...sendiri....mungkin it's the best thing kali ya....gua emang kudu sendiri...mikir...bener2 mikir...
jangan korbanin hati orang lain lagi...jangan...
kalo boleh diganti....gua mau kok gantiin....bener....

yah...ga ada artinya bolak balik liat ke belakang...everything's been said and done...ga ada yg bisa ditarik balik, ga ada yang bisa diganti....

cuma sekarang musti mikir gimana cara memperbaiki semua ini...

if i could ...

if i could turn back time, i would ....
if i could just died, i would ...

argh...

it's official....

i have no life...
haiyaaakkk!
not sure what i would like to write...
not sure what i feel...
not sure what i wanna do today...
not sure if i wanna be with someone else today...
hehehehe....
gedubrak!

and yes....i have no life today....
du du du du du *jalan tangan ke belakang sambil dongak2 liatin langit mendung*

the cold smell of ice ....

thanks for reminding me of the ice...
thanks for keep me running on the ice...
thanks for returning that old feeling...

happy....

me being egois....

aku punya ini...
tapi mau yang itu juga...

kalo lepas yang ini trus ambil yang itu....hhhmm...
ato lepas yang itu trus ambil yang ini?
ahhh...ga maooo...mau dua2nya aja...
gimana?boleh ga?

yang ini ato yang itu ya?
bingung....
can have both for a moment? *maruk moden ON*
pleaseeee???

it's time to get up!

Yes, it's time to get up!
To work my butt off....
For something new, for something better...

Been busy with the new job....
This time I know I made the right decision, work wise yah...
And I'm sure this is gonna be big....amen to that!

Still praying for the same thing....
Dear God, please make those requests come true...please please pleaseee...hiikkkssss....

yahh gitu deeehhh.....

Cinta itu ...

For me, Cinta itu kerja keras, at the same time it requires teamwork.
Biar sekeras apapun satu orang itu bekerja kalo ga ada teamwork semuanya akan sia-sia.

Cinta itu pengertian.
Cinta itu tau dimana harus menempatkan diri untuk partnernya.
Cinta itu akan berkata jujur kalo memang partnernya salah.
Cinta itu akan selalu membela partnernya didepan orang banyak walaupun dia bersalah. One can talk to he/she afterwards.
Cinta itu tidak akan mempermalukan partnernya. NO MATTER WHAT!

Cinta itu bijaksana.
Cinta itu harus ada kompromi.
Cinta itu saling mengalah demi kepentingan BERSAMA.

Cinta itu ga boleh egois.
Cinta itu manis and hurtful at the same time.

Cinta itu lucu.
Cinta itu kejam.
Cinta itu complicated.

Cinta itu commitment.
Cinta itu saling memberi. Kalo in a relationship salah satu pihak memberi terlalu banyak, itu udah ga sehat.

Cinta itu belajar untuk membiarkan orang yang kamu cintai untuk memilih pilihannya sendiri even pilihan itu ga sesuai dengan pilihanmu.

Cinta itu penantian.
Cinta itu berkat yang paling besar.
Dikala kamu bisa mencintai seseorang dengan tulus tanpa memikirkan timbal balik maka itulah disaat kamu jadi orang yang paling bijaksana sedunia.

Cinta itu harus dijaga, dipelihara.
Benih-benih tidak akan tumbuh kalo tidak dipupuk dengan benar, begitu juga dengan cinta.

Those are my definitions of love. hohohohoho…

perjuanganku ....

aku sedang berjuang
berjuang melawan gejolak hati
berjuang melawan keegoisan diri
berjuang melawan gelora emosi
berjuang membuka cakrawala dunia
aku akan berjuang sampai mati...
.......

*yah...error lagi*

the current me...

I've lost my appetite to live...

I'm drowning deeper and deeper...

I feel like a zombie...

I have nothing to look forward to...

I'm losing my sanity...

I've lost my battle...

I wish I could stop living this nothingness...

I'm not me....

Dear the old me,
Where did you go?
I need you now...please don't leave me...
But you are gone...why?
I wish upon a star that you were here and held my hands to assure me that everything is gonna be alright....

Love,
the current me.

Someone gave me this ....

birunya hati kembali menjadi pelangi
rintik hujan membasuh bersih jiwa
memberi jalan indahnya cinta
menembus hati yang telah tersakiti
sentuhan, tatapan, dan suaranya
membuat gelisah diri ini
hingga ke alam khayalku teringin memeluk dan menyentuh dirinya
tetapi terlalu sulit
untuk kugapai hatinyadi tengah kegalauan hatiku yang masih ada
terkadang terasa dekat tetapi terlalu jauh untuk didekati
kecemasan bertanya pada perasaan tak ada jawaban
hanya terdengar degupan berdetak detak
yang membuat batinku tak jadi tenang
tetapi rasa ini tak ingin kuhapus
hasrat mau berkembang
layaknya bunga di taman firdaus
yang akan mewarnai hari hariku

life is about choices....

you think
you choose
you take the consequences
(maybe) you make mistakes

and i choose already ....

sepi ya...

hari ini...
kesepian...
somehow...
orang orang ga tau pada kemana...
heran...
pada kemana si?
sini doonng..
temenin aku...

tapi kayanya lagi pada sibuk...
ya ga apa apa deh...
udah biasa juga kok sendirian...
hehehehe...

ngantuk menerjang ...

cekluk...cekluk...
ngantuk...
uhuk...uhukk...
celetuk-celetuk
garuk-garuk...
banyak nyamuk...
mau ngamuk...
bobo yukkk

waciaaahh....

Late Night Manicure ...

Made my night a bit smiley...
Made my fingers a bit beautiful...

Almost midnight...
Couldn't sleep yet...

Wondering into the dark of the night...
Looking for my not so ordinary prince charming...
No need white horse...
All I ask of him is to understand me....
If you are my prince charming...Here I am!
Please do come and get me...

*I'd call this errorisme*

The Full Review

Okay....here's the full story...

Went ice skating yesterday from 4pm-ish to 8:30pm-ish...
i had a blast!
learned how to do hockey break and after 11 years of doing this thing yesterday was the closest i've ever get to hockey break!yay...
i know it's not perfect yet, but at least i'm working on it...
Met new friends...most of them are college student....it was a stress reliever to hang out with them....
It's funny to think that way since last time I was the stress reliever back then....
People must grow up whether you like it or not....
Couldn't sleep last night....stay awake until 4am....that's nuts!
I think someone transferred me the insomia syndrome....duhh....

oh ya!
bo, i had a blast last night...let's do it again soon....
Even though I would like to see you have kids, but please don't get pregnant just yet....we just getting started!!!
woooohhhooooo.......

two sides of a coin

Happy
Went ice skating today!
Belajar hockey break tadi....I'm tired but I'm happy...
Dengkul pegel-pegel...lemes gua...ehuehue...kacau banget deh...

Angry
Wanna kick someone's ass!
In this stage of relationship bosen itu hal biasa....we need to work something out and if we are able to get out of this situation I'm sure we are going to be a stronger and better couple...instead he wanted to throw everything away!
"I don't deserve you, coz you are too good for me" - stupid statement! MORON! bullshit!
ah...liat nanti de gimana....

ketika hari itu tiba ....

ketika hari itu tiba...
aku akan bersorak-sorai
aku akan memeluk semua yang bisa dipeluk
aku akan menangis
aku akan membahagiakan orang yang kukasihi

ketika hari itu tiba...
aku akan memuji Tuhanku

aku akan menunggu ketika hari itu tiba....patiently....

Dear Lord,
I claim this 99,000 plantation will be ours...I will be waiting....I know you won't dissapointed me. Remember God, for my birthday ya....thanks...

chunks of my mind

it takes two to tango.

how do you feel waking up each morning and knowing there's nothing to look forward to?

i feel like a zombie but i don't look like one (amit amiiiitt)

wondering what's my purpose in life

praying and claiming for the HUGE thing to happen...amen God...amen....

ga tau....

ga banyak yang mau ditulis...
ga tau apa yang mau ditulis...

kemaren ya kemaren
yang berlalu ya udah berlalu...lupain aja
nothing you can do to change the past...
yang udah ya sutra lah...
urusin yang sekarang aja
enjoy apa yang kamu punya sekarang
soal besok urusin besok aja
kalo kamu hepi dengan situasi sekarang....then it's good for you
kalo kamu ga hepi...then work it out to make you happy...

jika kepenatan jiwa tidak bisa dipendung lagi
keluarin aja....
it's not good for your emotional health...
and not good for your surrounding

jika kegirangan hati luber...
more than okay to let it out and share it...

kalo mau ke laut ya silahkan pergi
scream your lung out...
they say it's not good to go shopping while your heart weary...
if you have the money...then go!screw what people say...

kalo bingung diantara dua pilihan...
take your time, sit down ,and think what's best for you...
if you are stuck...just go with the flow...
at the end of the day you must made up your mind...

adios.....

By Epictetus ...

" Ask not for that events should happen as you will, but let your will be that events should happen as they do, and you shall have peace."

ujan!

tear drops from heaven...

love rain watching ....