Christmas Eve

Don't feel like spreading the 'Merry Christmas' greetings to anybody.

Not sure why.

In fact, don't feel like going to the Church and celebrate Christmas.

What's wrong with me ya?

Oh, well...

shaved ice falling from the sky

checked out a friend pictures whom still live in Milwaukee.

snowing already.

i miss snow...i really do.

i miss watching the first snow falling down to the earth.

i miss touching the snow with my hands (and sometimes tongue).

i miss the warm feeling of looking at the city covered with snow.

snow....

hiks....

Everybody has a Monday blues, right?

Note: Wrote this on Monday, 20 Dec 2010

Dari melek mata udah kesel….thus, no good mood today. Plus, it’s Monday.

Crap crap crap craaaaapppp!!!!!!

Pagi pagi listrik mati di rumah…kaga bisa mandi. Ruined my mood already. Karena bangun ga enak, pala jadi puyeng…mongki! Kalo pala puyeng gua ga bisa kerja. Truuuss like its not enough yet, internet di kantor mati lagi….reseee….

Gua cuma pengen mandi kok….keramas…clean my hair and body…emang sih ga keringetan, tapi kan bawaannya kaga enak. Lengket for some reason!

Keseeeelll!

Ga ngerti kenapa mati lampu mulu…monyet! Udah 4 kali nih….hari sabtu 2 kali, tapi Cuma sebentar aja. Minggu pagi, electricity went off for 2 hrs. trus tadi pagi dari jem 8 pagi…maunya apaan sih?

Gua ga peduli orang mo kate gua manja ato apa lah…sebodo amat! This is how I feel…so yeah, I have every right to say whatever I want! I cant do this, I cant function well today! Gggrrrr…..

Why everything seems so berantakan? Why I have no control over all things?

Lately mikir, kalo gua ini orangnya yg harus punya control over stuff. Harus punya!kalo ga bisa stress sendiri. Like now. Like lately. Stress sampe rambut rontok! Bikin gua makin stress aje. Udah rambut tipis, eeehh die rontok….makin streeeesssss…..

selama I live in bali, I barely ngerasa relax. Stress! Really stress! Emang kita jalan2 ke pantai lah, ke ubud lah, ato watch tv lah….but deep down I know gua stress. Rumah yg ga layak tinggal (and im freaking glad that we are moving out soon!!!), taman yg kotor, daon pohon jepun yang rontok mulu bikin gua keki. Rumah yang selalu kotor, baru sapu pel, 10 menit kemudian udah kotor lagi. Belom lagi lemari yg bener2 gua benci! Dari depan gede, tapi dalemnya kecil dan nyebelin. Trus the house smelly. I hate it! Dapur yg udah kaya gudang. Udara dalem rumah yg gua benci! Suasana rumah yg gua benci!

I can say, bali is great for vacation, but NOT for living!

Gua ga pernah fully setuju move to bali kok. He never really asked me. He decided and then he told me we are moving to bali. I have been trying to look at the silver lining. But I haven’t found it yet. Things happened here malah bikin gua makin sebel pindah ke sini. I miss Jakarta, I miss kelapa gading. As much as I hate traffic jam yang rese, I prefer to live in Jakarta. Coz I have everything I needed in Jakarta.

Yes, I am complaining now!!! Biiiiaaarrr…..kesel, kesel, kesel….

3 days til Christmas....

okay, first of all, this post has nothing to do with Christmas countdown....

I just feel like yapping here since I have no mood to talk to a person....

This morning, I found out that somebody hit my car. I dont know how it happened, when it happened.

But cant deny the anger (yep, ANGER) is here!

Been wondering why everything seems falling apart. I lost my grip! hiks....

I cant even handle tiny little thing, like remembering my car insurance due date. heeek!

blah to the blaaaahhh

there's no such thing as Christmas in Bali

Yep! you are reading it right!

No Christmas here.

No decent decorations.

No red nor green color.

No Christmas tree.

(almost) nothing!

haih!

On other note, I think I'm going to skip my yoga (agaaain!!)

A bit guilty, but the mood hasn't been good today.

A new year resolution: Do yoga at least twice a week starting January 2011.

Not sure what am I going to do this weekend. Only have 1 more day left.

I need a good closure, I really do. :(

oh! I want a good book and a quiet night.

!!!!!

PALING GAK SUKA DITUNJUK-TUNJUK DI DEPAN MUKA!

emang menurut lu, gua apaan?

emang menurut lu, lu siapa?

mongki!

i want something more

I want something more.

Other than spending the time together.

I want us to listen and to share.

It's not only about having fun.

It's not only about watching TV together.

I want something more.

Something special, something meaningful.

I want him to listen without judging.

I don't need any comments from him.

I just want his ear and heart.

I want something more.....

mi casa no es su casa

Few people knew I'm a very private person when it came to my properties; i.e: room, house, car, clothes, shoes etc. Basically, everything I owned. You get the picture. Hence, I can be really fussy when one come near (barely touch) my properties without me inviting or offering him/her.

Call me possessive or whatever, like I care.

Saying that, I am well aware sometimes my very-private-behavior can be a pain in my ass.

I have place for everything (read: EVERYTHING), really!

A small example: My desk. I organized my desk with a purpose, which to ensure that I, the owner of the desk, can get everything I need without have to hustle and bustle.

I don't mind they borrowing my stuff, but please keep in mind to be responsible and return it exactly where you get it. Why is it so hard? Am I asking too much?

Let's talk about my car.

Hell, I love my car. I took a damn good care of my car. It's clean (not always, but I try my best to keep it as clean as I can). It's tidy. It's organized. It smells good.

Few rules in my car:

No food allowed (especially something oily, soup of any kind), therefore no eating (or munching) in my car. Hard candy is tolerable, chocolate bar and ice cream are not. Food smells the car, the whole car. It's disturbing!

No colored drinks allowed (as much as I love coffee, I NEVER drink coffee in my car). I can tolerate mineral water.

Max passenger including the driver is four. Five is tolerable, depends on the situation. But five is THE max, regardless my type of car. If I had more than five, you'd see my grumpy face.

No feet or toe on the dashboard. It's simply impolite. Please behave.

Do not step on the side frame of the car when you are going into the car.

Check your shoes/sandals for any mud before you get in. If you have any, please make sure you clean it before you step into the car. Any attempt of cleaning would be great appreciated.

No complaining about how my car looked like, the suspension or any kind. You are riding in my car. I do you a favor. Keep your comments to yourself. Only positive and constructive comments are welcome.

Now move to my house, shall we?

I hate being a host. I really do. My house is my personal area. Therefore, I barely ask people to come and visit my house. But when I decided to invite you, I am inviting you with all my heart.

I drew a pretty thick line between my house and others.

If you are really nice and really responsible or if I knew you well or if you are my immediate family, I might invite you to come, hang around, and maybe spend few nights.

When you took a shower in my bathroom and using my towel without asking for my permission, it was WAY over the line! It was unacceptable!! No laughing matter!!

I think what I'm trying to say is, "mi casa no es su casa."

can feel the heat

judul diatas sama sekali ga ada hubungannya sama isi postingannya....

again, keyboard getting toil....makin susah aja dipencetnya. serasa pake mesin tik aje....

belom yoga minggu ini....haduh!kacau....kudu yoga atuh!

rugi niiiihh....i need my flat tummy!!!

bali lagi panas banget....mataharinya kenceng pisan. kulit kaya dibakar gitu kalo keluar....

not enjoying the heat and the sun.

i miss gloomy grey sky and the rain of course.

disini ujannya becanda doang....ujan seempret, trus panas lagi...

good thingnya jemuran jadi cepet kering....hehehe....

kinda miss wave-watching sih....

nyari hordeng kemaren. liat Onna...bagus sih...and not cheap!

again and again, barang bagus doesnt come cheap!

pengen be'ol....

kemaren bikin karangan buat di website, bikin setengah halaman aja seharian bo...gila ya....

otak udah butek banget, terakhir bikin paper taon 2004 kali tuh...ckckckck...

few scattered updates

haven't log in for sometimes.

we got a house.

they are still building it, but we manage to have changes here and there.

had a miscommunication regarding the placement of the shower glass between the builder and us.

he's willing to bongkar, but there's no guarantee the pipe bisa di konek ke saluran air....ah ribet deh pokoke....

....despite that, i think the house will look great. it's about decoratingnya aja.

checking out Pottery Barn website together with IKEA....

wah...IKEA looks so ugly....ahahahuae....

harga emang kaga boong ya....

also, looking for a desk and a cupboard...

(yeh, kok jadi banyak?)

tadi udah beli ac.

tros.....jajan kacang manis pedes. enak!

trus....besok balik jakarta.

cant wait for my rujak ulek and ketoprak! yiha!!!

cant wait to meet oncom!

btw, ini keyboard susah amat dipencetnya. terutama tombol R, C, and T!!

hih!

ngantuk.....

random

went to a yoga session yesterday.

it was a packed class. 18 participants. made the class much, much more challenging than usual.

the heat i couldn't bear! sweating from the top of my head to the bottom of my toe!

almost passed out in the class. hehehe....

but it was a good class after all. all good!

will be going to Australia in 5 days. *excited!*

pray for a nice weather.

didn't get enough sleep. short fused in the morning. now, okay.

sleepy all day long.

When you are given a warning and a chance....

What would you do?
would you give up instead of fighting?
would you fight?
would you surrender to die?

I hope you are going to fight, not for me or anybody else, but for your own sake.
You are deserve to be more than happy.
So, this is your time to fight to find your Eureka!

Fight, Mother, fight.....

Farewell, Mami....

"You've been a solid fighter, a strong woman, and a great example of how human being should live. You've done your part well, now rest in peace, Aunty. I'm sure God is happy to see you once again."

3 March 1946 - 14 September 2010

Quote Empe, "kita pasti ketemu lagi."

.... Farewell and good bye, Mami ....

Letting someone you love dearly go....

My uncle and my auntie....
Two very different personalities.
One is strong headed, one is soft.
One is so frank, one is so wise.

Been married for 40 years (i think).
Regardless all life challenges they still together until today. Until the day my auntie get really sick. He stand by her all the way.

I think his FB status say it all (and I quote):

"Aku sangat terbuka semua yg aku dengar n lihat aku katakan pada T Koo tidak ada perubahan sedikitpun.Memang ia agak lemah akibat endoscopy karena dibius total biasa aku sungguh bahagia bisa mendampingi istriku dikala ia benar2 membutuhkanku inilah karunia yg diberikan YESUS kpdku untuk mencintainya disepanjang suka n duka.TQ GOD"

I think they are so meant for each other.

no more words to express how i feel........

random

sunday...

dengerin lagu mandarin di you tube....jadi mellow, abis kayanya lagunya sedih pisan...
di luar mendung juga...tambah mellow...hehe

mau ke gereja....

sempet liat2 tiker and hotel....lumayan juga ya...

tadinya mau lari pagi di pantai hari ini, tapi ga jadi deh tidurnya malem sih...
harus coba nih sekali2....hit the beach early in the morning...hehehe...
worried why perut gua gendut sih? berat badan masih sama loh, kemaren sih gara2 masuk angin...lah sekarang kenape?

!

gak pengen di kantor loh sebenernya hari sabtu gini.

blehe!

hello from paradise

hello!

i'm in bali since last week.
we made our way out of jakarta on jul 27, 2010.
initially, was planning to drive from jakarta to bandung, but changed my mind and kept driving.
after 555.55 km and 13 hours 40 minutes later, i drove up to yogyakarta. an achievement i must tell you. never thought i can drive that long and far. quite proud of myself!
it was raining pretty hard several times.

anyway, during the past week we've been cleaning and arranging the house.
had my low moments. not anymore. i'm bouncing back quite fast. thank God for that :)
food been good. weather also good. need to get my life back on track. more discipline!
need to save money since we are planning to buy or hopefully build a house here.

have a trip on oct to sydney, gold coast, and melb. yay!
and more saving to be done!

currently at the office in the boss' room. hihihihi...the liberty of having the husband as my boss. hohohoho....
today is my first day working as a Finance/Office Manager in Ray White Kuta.
praying to have good businesses and harvest in the future.
guess what?i dont even have a desk yet.
create my own job desk. listing what need to buy and be done. seems i have a lot of work!
its been 10 months as an employee. but now, cant think like an employee. i need to think about the business also. haiyo....
had my first meeting this morning. it was oke lah....

oh well, better get back to work!

thats it!!

Think I've been a good person.
But I'm only human.
That is it!!

I'm moving away, I'm taking all I am and starting a new life in a new place.
I don't have to hear from him ever again.
He's NOT part of my life anymore.
Couldn't careless.

See ya and I don't wanna see ya (ever again!)
.....

here, there, and everywhere.....

Cape banget deh.
Ga berasa in about 2 weeks time I'll be leaving jakarta and heading to kuta, bali.
And packing isn't nearly done!*jeger*

Been staying in cawang for a week, bantuin toko. Miss my apartment like crazy!
Miss my privacy, my space, my own time.

A bit excited to move out jakarta, a bit nervous too.
What if ga betah? What if suasananya ga enak?

Lately I can't hear the voices in my head. Kecapean kali ye?
I can't even think.
Maaann....I really need a me time.
Mungkin bener juga yg si nyot bilang kayanya gua lebih seneng idup sendiri...
Haheuaha...gila!ya sendiri emang enak sih kadang2....
And I don't mind sendirian juga...tapi kadang sepi sih...

Kuku gua ancur banget nih....
Kenapa sih kayanya semua kudu gua?
Sampe all the time I have left di jakarta juga kudu dipake??
I refuse...sorry, I still have to do other stuff

Sleepy. Ngawur ngomongnye!

loncat sana, loncat sini

as usual....
otak pikirannya loncat sana, loncat sini....
lagi sakit kepala juga...

apa ya?
banyak sih di otak, cuma bingung mau mulai dari mana...hehehe...
bite me!

ah udah aaahhh

ketika bermalam di cawang.....

Rasanya beda dari yg gua tau dulu.
Sleeping in my old room, not as comfy as the old time.
Maybe this is rasanya leave the old nest and build my own new nest ya?
Not saying cawang is bad.
Cuma udah ga terbiasa aja.
Keadaannya, bisingnya suara kendaraan bermotor, ruangan2 yang rasanya kurang familiar.
Udaranya, warna cahaya lampu. Semuanya beda.
I can't find me here.
I love my new nest, yg bentar lagi akan ditinggalin.
Baru ngerasa "this is home; my, our home"....ehh harus pergi.
Sempet kecewa. Sedih udah pasti.

And jujur aja, I can't say bali is home just yet.
Waktu si suami otaknya lagi lempeeeng banget dia pernah bilang, "this is for a better life, for our family. Our life."
Iya juga sih kalo dipikir2.

It aint easy to say good bye. Aint!
:(

people!!!!

Heran deh orang orang.
Pada kehebohan demo obama...
Duileh!
Kurang kerjaan.
denger dulu, liat dulu baru komentar.
Lah ini...belom juga ada apa2, uda teriak2 sana sini...
Buset deh...

Oh mobil stream udah laku...
So fast. Seriously fast. Maybe its just time.

Setrikaan belom digosok nih
Udah second batch...hihui...
Bodo ah tugas sang suami...hihi

Excited about the coming family trip.
Walopun itu artinya menguras kantong...
Ahahaha...mungkin krn gua pengen liat si mitsoy aja kali ya...

Pengen punya a good sunglasses, just like my ralph lauren sunglasses...
Awet....since 2002, sampe sekarang masih bagus...
Mau beli ahh...

Mau ice cream...kenapa ya?akhir2 ini mau ice cream terus...
Oh well...

a tribute buat si kecil

kecil...
berbulu...

nakal sih engga...
galak juga engga...

manja banget
ga mau turun naek tangga sendiri
padahal bisa, tapi manja....

takut gendong dia, bukan karena dia galak
tapi takut nyakitin dia....
soalnya gua ga tau pasti kaki yang sakit itu yang mana
....pernah coba gendong...tiba2 tereak, "nggeeeeekkk"
lah, salah cara gendongnya....
dimarahin dah gua....

waktu baru dateng bisa duduk ditelapak tangan gua
warnanya item. lucuuuuuuu banget....

dari kecil udah doyan buah...
inget banget, dia pernah jilatin jus alpukat di gelas plastik sampe kepalanya masuk dan mukanya blepotan jus alpuket...ahauehauehae....

iseng banget sama piko, suka humping semena mena....hihihihiii....

terakhir gua liat, just last month.
udah tua, warnanya udah abu abu pudar agak kecoklat-coklatan
waktu itu ngintilin gua ke kantornya si papi, duduk dibawah kaki gua...
seinget gua, dia ga pernah ngintilin gua....tapi hari itu dia ngintilin gua...mungkin karena ga ada orang kali ya?
sempet gua foto foto dan unyeng unyeng...i am so glad sempet unyeng-unyeng dia...

si kecil yang cempreng,
sekarang kamu udah ga di buaran lagi....
udah diatas sana...
gak sakit lagi, ga muntah lagi, ga batuk lagi...
baik baik ya disana....

you holds a special place in my heart, just like piko...
always....

the L town

have you ever really (REALLY, REALLY, REALLYYYYY) wanna go somewhere, you know you just have to go??
for me it's London. It's calling me....again and again!

i know i have to set my priorities right and it's one of mine!

every time i saw or read something about it, my heart itch (lebay ye?hahauehea). just have to go there!!

something about it really struck me.
and people says, "there's internet, there's google map. you dont have to go there to be there"
aahh...gak bisa!it's totally different. liat dari internet and being there physically. i need to be able to breath UK's air. my nostril and lungs need to feel the cold wet air. i want to touch the old modern buildings. i wanna ride the underground, the red double decker bus, the london eye.

katanya sih mahal kesana....tapi teteeepp....gua harus pergi....

have to go there. somehow. someday.

Been a while...

Pengen ice cream.
Blizzard Oreo to be exact. Somehow I like it lately.

Ngantuk. Cape banget.
Tadi yoga. Seru deh.
Nanti kalo jadi pindah yoga gua gimana ya??

Ngantuk ngantuk ngantuk

here, there, and everywhere

lagi berlabuh di rumah nyokap for 4 days, secara ditinggalin ama suami.

2010 already!
cepet sekali.

baru awal taun, tapi udah dihadapi dengan pilihan yang sangaaaaatt sulit.
masih mikir sih.
ahahahahaha....

ah ga mood nulis ah....
pengen nontonnnnn....gggrrrrr....