Thursday, February 17, 2011

remembering you....


sometimes i forget that you are gone...
like now, like today.
it brought up tears.

how are you up there?
great i suppose....yea, i'm sure. :)

gak sengaja nemu your email back in 2006.
you asked me how i feel the day after mlb got hitched.
how ade felt.
you care, you always cared...

aku lupa mami udah pergi....sering banget lupa...
aku inget mami masih ada di kew....ato lagi ke dokter.

sedih...tapi i'm happy for you. no more pain, you can take a good rest while enjoying your work, tabungan buat akherat....

and i know, i'll be okay :)

Wednesday, February 16, 2011

uk and ut....


Wrote this on 20 Jun 2006

aku tahan kantuk
sampe ngangguk ngangguk
kerjaan bertumpuk tumpuk
pasang muka kusuk
aku belaga sibuk
aku celingak celinguk
liat orang2 pada sibuk
aku makin terpuruk
dalam keadaan yang buruk
ingin mengamuk
menghantam kelabu hiruk pikuk
aku ngoceh sampe terbatuk batuk
menahan murka yang makin terbentuk
jancuk!
ayo semangat jangan mengkerut
biar jalan di depan licin berlumut
biar pandangan penuh kabut
jangan sampai terhasut
ayo maju terus pantang kusut
mari panjatkan doa sambil berlutut
semoga kita tidak lagi takut
menghadapi hidup yang penuh kemelut

Ps. I miss writing.

Thursday, February 10, 2011

the importance of a warning


after the boss called and warned 2 of our sales people, today both came to the office and brought some new listings.
as much as i really want to let them go, i still appreciate their effort.

so let's pray that this isn't temporary. let's pray that they will take this job seriously.
i know not all people can do what they do now (see me, i tried for 4 months, i couldn't do it).





Tuesday, February 08, 2011

i miss my legacy....


my legacy = dagangan stationary and school bag.

it's almost that time of year again.
i really miss doing all the shopping, the thinking, the wrapping, the labeling, and most importantly...i miss feeling the excitement of selling those stuffs.

i guess i have to pass on the legacy yea?
i hope whoever yang lanjutin my legacy would do such a good job.
please do not disappointed me. i built it and too bad i can't continue. i would if i could.

hikhikhikhikhik....



Saturday, January 29, 2011

moment like this...


today is the day when i miss my blog, but have no idea what to write about.
i guess, just wrote down whatever pop in my head, ya?

sudden crave for sushi!
a bit hungry, maybe that's why.

i wanna eat.....

*so randooommm*

Tuesday, January 25, 2011


i miss my blog sometimes.
i miss writing now and then.
just like now...writing about everything under the sky.

anyway, found pepsi ice cucumber (yep, ice cucumber).
they were gonna launched it back in 2007 in Japan.
don't think it was a big hit, yea?
wonder how it taste?
weird.

i know i should work on my stuff since it's almost the end of the month.
but...i have no mood laaahh....

chinese new year is next week.
decided to spend CNY in bali rather than going back to jakarta.
used to be very, very excited abt CNY. not anymore (most likely becoz im not longer eligible receiving that red envelopes *hik*)

i need travelling. now, i wanna go to korea. eat, eat, eat, eaaattt....
also japan...and yes, to eat, eat, eat, eaaattt....

okay, got my power back now...time to get busy...

Monday, January 24, 2011

here, there, and everywhere


rain just stopped.
sky still gloomy.
fine with that.

got nothing to do.
finished everything.
so how?
what to do?

bla blehe bloho blihiiiiii....

so bored.
lately, feeling so bored.
here, almost got no life.
i think i'd lost my sanity if i have no tv cable.
thank God for tv cable.
can't stand watching local channel.

tired. yea, for no apparent reason.

went to ubud yesterday. 1st black and white trial.
not so great. so so.
haven't got a chance to review the result.
not looking forward either.
but! i shall say i love starbucks ubud!
nice atmosphere.
would love to come back for a longer coffee/tea session.

nyepi mau kabur kemana ya?

Tuesday, January 11, 2011

Vivian Maier


Cant get enough of Vivian Maier's pictures.
kadang sampe agak merinding liat foto2nya...
keren!

ampe terinspirasi mau belajar foto black and white.

these questions been running in my head:
how to capture great pictures without using great camera?
how to make the most out of my pocket camera?

jadi pengen foto foto.
but i want a city setting. not landscape.
dimane ye?

heeehhh??!?!


Typed this yesterday.

Honestly, I don’t understand.

Kok ada orang ga tau diri model gitu?

Ke kantor ga pernah, menghasilkan pun engga sama sekali…eh giliran ada undangan meeting trus makan2 dia dateng dengan santainya dan tentunya pake alesan ‘dateng telat’, so she can skip the actual meeting and join the festive. Kaya ga ada apa2 aja gitu. Apa gak malu?

Trus bisa dengan pd nya bilang dia harus diingetin ke kantor. HELLLOOOOWWW???!?!?! Cari duit kudu diingetin? Sama sekali GAK masuk akal! Kalo mau bela diri mbok ya pinteran sedikit. Jangan tolol2 amat lah! If I were the bos, I’d fired her on the spot! That’s ridiculous! Mana ada orang cari duit kudu diingetin? Emang makan juga lu kudu diingetin? Stupid!

I’m pretty sure, gak lama dia balik kok. She haas no steady income. Gak punya kerjaan tetap. Cuma cari free lunch aja. Lumayan kan dapet free lunch di resto yg ok. Geez….bener2 ga masuk akal! Gak ngerti jalan pikiran dia apa? Ga punya otak kali ye? Ga punya urat malu juga! Bener deh….malu2in banget!

oh well....

Friday, December 24, 2010

Christmas Eve


Don't feel like spreading the 'Merry Christmas' greetings to anybody.
Not sure why.
In fact, don't feel like going to the Church and celebrate Christmas.
What's wrong with me ya?

Oh, well...





Thursday, December 23, 2010

shaved ice falling from the sky


checked out a friend pictures whom still live in Milwaukee.
snowing already.
i miss snow...i really do.
i miss watching the first snow falling down to the earth.
i miss touching the snow with my hands (and sometimes tongue).
i miss the warm feeling of looking at the city covered with snow.

snow....

hiks....



Wednesday, December 22, 2010

Everybody has a Monday blues, right?


Note: Wrote this on Monday, 20 Dec 2010

Dari melek mata udah kesel….thus, no good mood today. Plus, it’s Monday.

Crap crap crap craaaaapppp!!!!!!

Pagi pagi listrik mati di rumah…kaga bisa mandi. Ruined my mood already. Karena bangun ga enak, pala jadi puyeng…mongki! Kalo pala puyeng gua ga bisa kerja. Truuuss like its not enough yet, internet di kantor mati lagi….reseee….

Gua cuma pengen mandi kok….keramas…clean my hair and body…emang sih ga keringetan, tapi kan bawaannya kaga enak. Lengket for some reason!

Keseeeelll!

Ga ngerti kenapa mati lampu mulu…monyet! Udah 4 kali nih….hari sabtu 2 kali, tapi Cuma sebentar aja. Minggu pagi, electricity went off for 2 hrs. trus tadi pagi dari jem 8 pagi…maunya apaan sih?

Gua ga peduli orang mo kate gua manja ato apa lah…sebodo amat! This is how I feel…so yeah, I have every right to say whatever I want! I cant do this, I cant function well today! Gggrrrr…..

Why everything seems so berantakan? Why I have no control over all things?

Lately mikir, kalo gua ini orangnya yg harus punya control over stuff. Harus punya!kalo ga bisa stress sendiri. Like now. Like lately. Stress sampe rambut rontok! Bikin gua makin stress aje. Udah rambut tipis, eeehh die rontok….makin streeeesssss…..

selama I live in bali, I barely ngerasa relax. Stress! Really stress! Emang kita jalan2 ke pantai lah, ke ubud lah, ato watch tv lah….but deep down I know gua stress. Rumah yg ga layak tinggal (and im freaking glad that we are moving out soon!!!), taman yg kotor, daon pohon jepun yang rontok mulu bikin gua keki. Rumah yang selalu kotor, baru sapu pel, 10 menit kemudian udah kotor lagi. Belom lagi lemari yg bener2 gua benci! Dari depan gede, tapi dalemnya kecil dan nyebelin. Trus the house smelly. I hate it! Dapur yg udah kaya gudang. Udara dalem rumah yg gua benci! Suasana rumah yg gua benci!

I can say, bali is great for vacation, but NOT for living!

Gua ga pernah fully setuju move to bali kok. He never really asked me. He decided and then he told me we are moving to bali. I have been trying to look at the silver lining. But I haven’t found it yet. Things happened here malah bikin gua makin sebel pindah ke sini. I miss Jakarta, I miss kelapa gading. As much as I hate traffic jam yang rese, I prefer to live in Jakarta. Coz I have everything I needed in Jakarta.

Yes, I am complaining now!!! Biiiiaaarrr…..kesel, kesel, kesel….

3 days til Christmas....


okay, first of all, this post has nothing to do with Christmas countdown....
I just feel like yapping here since I have no mood to talk to a person....

This morning, I found out that somebody hit my car. I dont know how it happened, when it happened.
But cant deny the anger (yep, ANGER) is here!
Been wondering why everything seems falling apart. I lost my grip! hiks....
I cant even handle tiny little thing, like remembering my car insurance due date. heeek!

blah to the blaaaahhh

Saturday, December 18, 2010

there's no such thing as Christmas in Bali


Yep! you are reading it right!
No Christmas here.
No decent decorations.
No red nor green color.
No Christmas tree.
(almost) nothing!

haih!

On other note, I think I'm going to skip my yoga (agaaain!!)
A bit guilty, but the mood hasn't been good today.

A new year resolution: Do yoga at least twice a week starting January 2011.

Not sure what am I going to do this weekend. Only have 1 more day left.

I need a good closure, I really do. :(

oh! I want a good book and a quiet night.

!!!!!


PALING GAK SUKA DITUNJUK-TUNJUK DI DEPAN MUKA!
emang menurut lu, gua apaan?
emang menurut lu, lu siapa?

mongki!


Friday, December 10, 2010

i want something more


I want something more.
Other than spending the time together.
I want us to listen and to share.
It's not only about having fun.
It's not only about watching TV together.

I want something more.
Something special, something meaningful.

I want him to listen without judging.
I don't need any comments from him.
I just want his ear and heart.

I want something more.....

Wednesday, December 08, 2010

mi casa no es su casa


Few people knew I'm a very private person when it came to my properties; i.e: room, house, car, clothes, shoes etc. Basically, everything I owned. You get the picture. Hence, I can be really fussy when one come near (barely touch) my properties without me inviting or offering him/her.
Call me possessive or whatever, like I care.

Saying that, I am well aware sometimes my very-private-behavior can be a pain in my ass.

I have place for everything (read: EVERYTHING), really!
A small example: My desk. I organized my desk with a purpose, which to ensure that I, the owner of the desk, can get everything I need without have to hustle and bustle.
I don't mind they borrowing my stuff, but please keep in mind to be responsible and return it exactly where you get it. Why is it so hard? Am I asking too much?

Let's talk about my car.
Hell, I love my car. I took a damn good care of my car. It's clean (not always, but I try my best to keep it as clean as I can). It's tidy. It's organized. It smells good.

Few rules in my car:
No food allowed (especially something oily, soup of any kind), therefore no eating (or munching) in my car. Hard candy is tolerable, chocolate bar and ice cream are not. Food smells the car, the whole car. It's disturbing!
No colored drinks allowed (as much as I love coffee, I NEVER drink coffee in my car). I can tolerate mineral water.
Max passenger including the driver is four. Five is tolerable, depends on the situation. But five is THE max, regardless my type of car. If I had more than five, you'd see my grumpy face.
No feet or toe on the dashboard. It's simply impolite. Please behave.
Do not step on the side frame of the car when you are going into the car.
Check your shoes/sandals for any mud before you get in. If you have any, please make sure you clean it before you step into the car. Any attempt of cleaning would be great appreciated.
No complaining about how my car looked like, the suspension or any kind. You are riding in my car. I do you a favor. Keep your comments to yourself. Only positive and constructive comments are welcome.

Now move to my house, shall we?
I hate being a host. I really do. My house is my personal area. Therefore, I barely ask people to come and visit my house. But when I decided to invite you, I am inviting you with all my heart.
I drew a pretty thick line between my house and others.
If you are really nice and really responsible or if I knew you well or if you are my immediate family, I might invite you to come, hang around, and maybe spend few nights.
When you took a shower in my bathroom and using my towel without asking for my permission, it was WAY over the line! It was unacceptable!! No laughing matter!!

I think what I'm trying to say is, "mi casa no es su casa."

Friday, December 03, 2010

can feel the heat


judul diatas sama sekali ga ada hubungannya sama isi postingannya....

again, keyboard getting toil....makin susah aja dipencetnya. serasa pake mesin tik aje....

belom yoga minggu ini....haduh!kacau....kudu yoga atuh!
rugi niiiihh....i need my flat tummy!!!

bali lagi panas banget....mataharinya kenceng pisan. kulit kaya dibakar gitu kalo keluar....
not enjoying the heat and the sun.
i miss gloomy grey sky and the rain of course.
disini ujannya becanda doang....ujan seempret, trus panas lagi...
good thingnya jemuran jadi cepet kering....hehehe....

kinda miss wave-watching sih....

nyari hordeng kemaren. liat Onna...bagus sih...and not cheap!
again and again, barang bagus doesnt come cheap!

pengen be'ol....

kemaren bikin karangan buat di website, bikin setengah halaman aja seharian bo...gila ya....
otak udah butek banget, terakhir bikin paper taon 2004 kali tuh...ckckckck...



Thursday, November 25, 2010

few scattered updates


haven't log in for sometimes.

we got a house.
they are still building it, but we manage to have changes here and there.
had a miscommunication regarding the placement of the shower glass between the builder and us.
he's willing to bongkar, but there's no guarantee the pipe bisa di konek ke saluran air....ah ribet deh pokoke....
....despite that, i think the house will look great. it's about decoratingnya aja.

checking out Pottery Barn website together with IKEA....
wah...IKEA looks so ugly....ahahahuae....
harga emang kaga boong ya....

also, looking for a desk and a cupboard...
(yeh, kok jadi banyak?)

tadi udah beli ac.

tros.....jajan kacang manis pedes. enak!

trus....besok balik jakarta.
cant wait for my rujak ulek and ketoprak! yiha!!!
cant wait to meet oncom!

btw, ini keyboard susah amat dipencetnya. terutama tombol R, C, and T!!
hih!

ngantuk.....



Thursday, October 28, 2010

random

went to a yoga session yesterday.
it was a packed class. 18 participants. made the class much, much more challenging than usual.
the heat i couldn't bear! sweating from the top of my head to the bottom of my toe!
almost passed out in the class. hehehe....
but it was a good class after all. all good!

will be going to Australia in 5 days. *excited!*
pray for a nice weather.

didn't get enough sleep. short fused in the morning. now, okay.
sleepy all day long.