Inisiatif

Yang namanya Inisiatif itu bisa sangat membantu.

tapi bisa juga bikin ribet.

inisiatif in a proper portion can be real good.

lagi empet. seempet-empetnya.

kenapa ga punya inisiatif? kenapa musti disuruh?

why on earth???!!?

and kenape sensi banget? kalo soal diri sendiri aje loe, sensi...ke orang laen mana sensi sih lu?

kupret!

modnar

i found watering the plants is therapeutic. it slows me down. it gives me time to think and to enjoy myself.

i'm excited coz i'm leaving for jakarta in a few days.

i love wearing shawl. it gives me comfort and warm.

i miss my colorful nails. gonna have them soon! yey!

i finally found a hairdresser here in bali. yehew!

lusting on...

leather nude pump and or flats.

not sure what to write, since i have no clue what i'm feeling now.

....and that is weird!

i think something is different with my body. i think i'm not 100% healthy yet.

something is missing. something different!

tiny headache. too tiny i decided to ignore it.

anyhow, back in the office...

why can't you.....?

be more responsible?

paid more attention to what i said?

be more reliable and get things done without me keep reminding you what to do?

have the initiative to do more without me pushing you around to do stuff?

WHY?

barusan iseng baca2 entry blog yang lama...

tapi somehow bacanya things yang bikin gua keki dulu...

can really feel the emotion loh...ahauhuhauhea....

hari ini i feel oke. maksudnya bodynya gitu loh...

punggungnya getting better. ga pegel2 lagi

i think karena mandi air dingin malem2 kali ya? jadi kaku gitu...

daku menua...oh no!

barusan melototin cash flow. haduh! saya stress....

almost no more pipelines? eeeeekkk!! bahaya ini bahaya iniiii....

tapi saya percayaaaaa Tuhan itu a provider God, akan dicukupin...amin, amin, amiiinn...

by the way, i think i should put my braces back on. males deh bobo pake braces. ganggu gitu...

ah ntar ganti sprei ah....

masak apa ya ntar malem?

having a bad day....

yeap!

i declare today is the bad ass day....

reason(s)? you mas ask.

no reason(s) at all.

but the mood hasn't been pretty since an hour ago.

mau marah marah, mau ngoceh ngoceh. pengen nampolin orang.

mau mengumpat pake semua bahasa di dunia kalo bisa...

gah!

everything got in my nerve.

mau mesem aje susye ni ari.

and to top of it, i have nothing to do. nothing to distract this mind. numpuk lah ye....

on trying something new

tried snorkeling yesterday at Mengiat Beach, nusa dua.

i have to pad my shoulder for trying something new.

i'm not an adventurous person. i don't like taking risks. in a fact, i refused to take any risks!

which lead to...i am a boring person. hehehehhe....

awal-awalnya gak enjoy sih. ya mungkin karena freak out duluan. kok napas aja susah bener...air laut masuk mulut mulu...cape deh...

trus kok rasanya cape banget. mungkin karena uda panik duluan. orang lain kok kayanya santai banget, kenapa kok gua ga bisa ya?

udah almost gave up! udah mo balik to the beach aja and sit down!

but again, i decided to give it another shot. and im glad!

coba lagi deh and this time pake kaki kodok itu loh....and belajar napas lagi. gak berapa lama bisa kok...i enjoy malaaaahhh....hahauhahua...

too excited....liat ikan tunjuk sana, tunjuk sini...hehehe...noraknya ampun2an...ahuehuae...

im ready for tulamben! heheheheh....

thank God!

again

kan lagi kan?

terlalu banyak mikir.

cape de....

the random me

bosan ya?

not sure what to do. nothing to do juga.

all done. all beres!

sometimes i miss writing....

kalo baca blog orang lain soooo interesting ya.

how come i cant be that creative?

hehehhe...oh well...

lagi mikir mau buat butter cookies...hihihih...

tapi ga punya cetakan yak!

bahan2nya gampang banget,....make from scratch or beli yg udah siap bake aja ya?

from scratch mungkin lbh seru ya...

Saturday

hari sabtu gini di kantor.

and honestly, i got nothing to do. finished it all yesterday.

yep, masih mikir hari sabtu gua ga kerja. so diselesain semua kerjaannya.

haiya....

ooo weeeelllll.....

the BIG three-oh

three-oh...

cant believe im thirty years old now.

wow!

time to move to another level.

time to think way ahead and wiser, to plan way better.

time to control self better and forgive more.

learn to be better.

learn to appreciate life even more.

one year older, one more year to live and learn! here's to turning 30!

Thank you God, for everything!

Monday Madness

Back to Monday, people!

stupid consultant acting up, AGAIN!

jelas-jelas ada salah, tapi kok diem-diem aja kalo ga ditanya.

thank God saya curious (baca: kepo), coba kalo engga....bakalan diem2 aje die...

nyebelin yeee....

anyway, still cant get over the gratisan thingy.

that was rude!

you barely knew me. never really talk. ga sopan!

truus...hari ini sibuk sih kayanya...

freaking out

hell yeah i'm freaking out.

sebenernya i know, i need to. i mean, everything is gonna be okay.

cuma ya...my nature itu panikan...piye toh?

i just have to believe. yakin dan percaya that everything is gonna be okay.

and it's not a waste. it's an investment. amiiiiinnn....

aih....

annoying!

keseeell!

ga pengen dealing with tax issues!

ga perna punya pengalaman soal tax, all i know cuma dulu urus tax personal ajaaa...

ga pernah urus tax perusahaan.

yang lebih annoying lagi, tax consultant-nya ignorant!

jelas jelas judulnya 'consultant', ya dia harus consult gua dong...tapi ini gak tau apa2...

taunya cuma terima duit doang!

pale lu benjut!

ini itu ga tau jelas duduk permasalahannya, bisanya cuma nyalah2in orang aja...

you are dealing with the wrong person!!! as*hole!

semua maen digampangin aja...jidat loe!

emang orang pajek tolol apa?bego lu...gua aja yg notabene ga ngarti pajek bisa mikir prinsipnya udah salah...gimana sih?onyon bener! kesel!!!

i have no interest talking to him at all!

males!

belom lagi citibank yg super lelet! susah amat sih kirim kartu baru ke alamat yg baru?

dari tgl 4 april bilangnya udah dikirim, lah 2 minggu kemudian belom sampe juga tu kartu?

yang ngirim orang buta nyetir ya?

kesel, kesel, keseeell....

ples, AC rusak...duile panas bener ni di ruangan...hiks....

ga tau kapan beres servicenya....

trus i panic over his bad decisions...*sigh*

mati lah...lemes...

the only thing yg oke itu rasanya cuma bau minyak telon di kantor, yg si peni pake....

such a morning!

My very 1st car

punya cita cita haruuuuuus punya mobil. gak tau mobil apa, tapi haruuus punya mobil, padahal belom bisa nyetir. terakhir belajar nyetir umur 15 taon. hehehe...

jadi, pulang kuliah dulu...first thing i did itu belajar setir dan bikin sim.

ngimpi punya ngimpi dulu pengen punya honda jazz. tapi apa daya duitnya ga cukup (maklum deh abis pake duit tabungan).

akhirnya...dengan modal nekad and minta ditemenin dombleh, jadi lah saya beli karimun item keluaran taun 2003 yang harganya cukup menguras seluruh isi celengan di bank. nasib, nasib....tapi gak apa-apa, demi kemandirian di kelak hari.

abis punya mobil, mau gak mau harus belajar setir dong? mubajir kalo engga. tapi emang sudah bertekad harus bisa nyetir. gak mau naek angkot, bukannya sombong loh...tapi tingkat kriminalitas di jakarta kan tinggi pisan. jadi kalo masih bisa melindungi diri sendiri ya saya lakonin.

awal-awal masih ditemenin. mostly ama dombleh and kendi. mereka lah orang yang berjasa ngajarin gua nyetir. dari super culun, harus liat dikala ganti gigi, anjluk2an pas angkat kopling sampe akhirnya gapeee (istilahnya merem juga bisaaa...jieee...)

rute biasanya dari rumah ke kantor (kuningan) lewat casablanca (dulu macetnya ga kaya neraka model sekarang ini...hiih) ato rumah ke mester.

saban sabtu pagi si kendi dateng ke cawang, just for nemenin gua nyetir dari cawang ke kuningan. sepi kan noh sabtu, gak ada yg kerja...cuma kantor indihe aje yang ngewajibin kita kerja rodi di hari sabtu!

nah si karimun itu, i named him Roti. secara kata mak gua kotak bener tu mobil! tapi ga pernah nyebut nyebut roti. kayanya gua lupa gua namain dia. hehehehhe....

tapi yang paling penting, tu mobil amat sangat gua rawat!! saban minggu pagi gua mandiin luar dalem. gak boleh bawa orang banyak-banyak. disayang banget deh!

si karimun sempet jadi the only car in the house. jadi suka ada yg pinjem, walo dalem ati gua kaga rela. soalnya yg minjem suka jorok!

selain for me, dia juga jasanya banyaaakk banget buat orang lain....

1. sering jadi mobil angkut barang dagangan nyokap, sampe terseok seok shock breakernya (!!)

2. pernah jadi mobil angkut barang dagangan kendi and gua. belanja ke asemka, diisiin ama blanjaan segambreng tapi ga seberat seragam yeee....namanya juga jualan stationary!

3. pernah jadi mobil penyelamat mlb and family di kala gading banjir. gua tutupiiiin tuh semua karpet saking takutnya sendal2 becek sembarangan masuk mobil.

4. pernah jadi mobil angkut pas clubbing. perna juga gua nyetir sedikit tipsy.

he's been there for me through the thick and the thin.

bela2in balik nama dia jadi nama gua pribadi. B 2341 HI used to be B 2553 OW.

disaat gua bener2 gak punya duit, gak pernah sekalipun terlintas di kepala gua mau jual dia. disaat bener2 tong pes, gua masih bela2in beli bensin, sparepart, and service (thank you mami pau for the special price!)

he was there when i laughed my ass off, i cried my eyes out, i prayed, i sang and danced (when driving along of coz), i ditilang polisi siaul....

namanya juga manusia or in this case barang ya....pasti ga perfect. dia sempet punya problem dinamo. kalo distarter suka gak mau, accu maot, trus selang bensin ke mesin bocor (untung masih bisa diakalin pake lem besi...hehe)

regardless, dia still my best car!

i took a damn good care of him!

bahkan when i decided to let him go, gua gak mau kompromi soal harga. it was either you take it or leave it! and i prayed semoga they took a damn good care of him!

pernah liat dia kalo diacara kumpul keluarga (secara yang beli sepupu sendiri). sedih, miris, dan celingak celinguk ke dalem mobilnya. pengen liat dia udah diapain sih? rapih ga sih? disayang ga sih? diurus ga sih?

intinya, i still love him! he'll always be in my heart *lebay ye...bodo ah!*

he was my very first car....

apa kabarnya dia sekarang ya?

hiks hiks hiks hiks....

hari ini....

jadi penghuni lantai 3...sendirian...

peni and pak michael tumbang gara2 flu...

semua kerjaan udah gua selesain...hhhmm....

things i did in the office today (other than my normal job desc):

1. stretching - need to start yoga-in...soooonn!

2. cut my hair - yep, cut my hair. did it in jakarta, but not too fond of the result. managed to make it look better.

3. thinking of what should be doing for the house, especially the kitchen. haiyo! ga mau pake raknya ah...jijay!

dot dot dot dot dot.....

this and that!

crappy!

rumah kok rasanya ga beres2....cape aja jadi the one whose being positive all the time.

had my break down last night! nangis ga, marah iya!

couldnt do laundry properly! what the heck???!?!

dimana lagi yg salah?apa lagi yang salah?

most of the time i feel nobody to count on. nobody to help me think and actually do stuff.

bikin marah. kesel. emosiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii...........

gua yang harus mikir, gua yang harus ingetin, gua yang harus dorong2,....gila kali!

gua punya bates kaleee!

camnya ga ada niat to do stuff. to make the house better.

gak mikir2 apa2.... or kalo mikir juga cuma ngomong doang...ga ada tuh tindak lanjutnye!

hih!

cape de!

Lent

Today is Ash Wednesday.

Lent starts.

What should I give up?

Meat? Sweets? Facebook? The Internet? Coffee?

WHAT?

on pictures taking

i like taking pictures but have no interest editing them.

i like good raw pictures.

set a challenge for myself a while ago - use a pocket camera to take good (or great) pictures.

no need the great device(s). just 1 pocket camera.

i think it's not about the great device or the great technology.

its about the skill, the perception, the angle, and the mood (to me yes, mood is a big thing).

and yep, i'm continuing and enjoying the challenge.