i miss my blog sometimes.

i miss writing now and then.

just like now...writing about everything under the sky.

anyway, found pepsi ice cucumber (yep, ice cucumber).

they were gonna launched it back in 2007 in Japan.

don't think it was a big hit, yea?

wonder how it taste?

weird.

i know i should work on my stuff since it's almost the end of the month.

but...i have no mood laaahh....

chinese new year is next week.

decided to spend CNY in bali rather than going back to jakarta.

used to be very, very excited abt CNY. not anymore (most likely becoz im not longer eligible receiving that red envelopes *hik*)

i need travelling. now, i wanna go to korea. eat, eat, eat, eaaattt....

also japan...and yes, to eat, eat, eat, eaaattt....

okay, got my power back now...time to get busy...

here, there, and everywhere

rain just stopped.

sky still gloomy.

fine with that.

got nothing to do.

finished everything.

so how?

what to do?

bla blehe bloho blihiiiiii....

so bored.

lately, feeling so bored.

here, almost got no life.

i think i'd lost my sanity if i have no tv cable.

thank God for tv cable.

can't stand watching local channel.

tired. yea, for no apparent reason.

went to ubud yesterday. 1st black and white trial.

not so great. so so.

haven't got a chance to review the result.

not looking forward either.

but! i shall say i love starbucks ubud!

nice atmosphere.

would love to come back for a longer coffee/tea session.

nyepi mau kabur kemana ya?

Vivian Maier

Cant get enough of Vivian Maier's pictures.

kadang sampe agak merinding liat foto2nya...

keren!

ampe terinspirasi mau belajar foto black and white.

these questions been running in my head:

how to capture great pictures without using great camera?

how to make the most out of my pocket camera?

jadi pengen foto foto.

but i want a city setting. not landscape.

dimane ye?

heeehhh??!?!

Typed this yesterday.

Honestly, I don’t understand.

Kok ada orang ga tau diri model gitu?

Ke kantor ga pernah, menghasilkan pun engga sama sekali…eh giliran ada undangan meeting trus makan2 dia dateng dengan santainya dan tentunya pake alesan ‘dateng telat’, so she can skip the actual meeting and join the festive. Kaya ga ada apa2 aja gitu. Apa gak malu?

Trus bisa dengan pd nya bilang dia harus diingetin ke kantor. HELLLOOOOWWW???!?!?! Cari duit kudu diingetin? Sama sekali GAK masuk akal! Kalo mau bela diri mbok ya pinteran sedikit. Jangan tolol2 amat lah! If I were the bos, I’d fired her on the spot! That’s ridiculous! Mana ada orang cari duit kudu diingetin? Emang makan juga lu kudu diingetin? Stupid!

I’m pretty sure, gak lama dia balik kok. She haas no steady income. Gak punya kerjaan tetap. Cuma cari free lunch aja. Lumayan kan dapet free lunch di resto yg ok. Geez….bener2 ga masuk akal! Gak ngerti jalan pikiran dia apa? Ga punya otak kali ye? Ga punya urat malu juga! Bener deh….malu2in banget!

oh well....

Christmas Eve

Don't feel like spreading the 'Merry Christmas' greetings to anybody.

Not sure why.

In fact, don't feel like going to the Church and celebrate Christmas.

What's wrong with me ya?

Oh, well...

shaved ice falling from the sky

checked out a friend pictures whom still live in Milwaukee.

snowing already.

i miss snow...i really do.

i miss watching the first snow falling down to the earth.

i miss touching the snow with my hands (and sometimes tongue).

i miss the warm feeling of looking at the city covered with snow.

snow....

hiks....

Everybody has a Monday blues, right?

Note: Wrote this on Monday, 20 Dec 2010

Dari melek mata udah kesel….thus, no good mood today. Plus, it’s Monday.

Crap crap crap craaaaapppp!!!!!!

Pagi pagi listrik mati di rumah…kaga bisa mandi. Ruined my mood already. Karena bangun ga enak, pala jadi puyeng…mongki! Kalo pala puyeng gua ga bisa kerja. Truuuss like its not enough yet, internet di kantor mati lagi….reseee….

Gua cuma pengen mandi kok….keramas…clean my hair and body…emang sih ga keringetan, tapi kan bawaannya kaga enak. Lengket for some reason!

Keseeeelll!

Ga ngerti kenapa mati lampu mulu…monyet! Udah 4 kali nih….hari sabtu 2 kali, tapi Cuma sebentar aja. Minggu pagi, electricity went off for 2 hrs. trus tadi pagi dari jem 8 pagi…maunya apaan sih?

Gua ga peduli orang mo kate gua manja ato apa lah…sebodo amat! This is how I feel…so yeah, I have every right to say whatever I want! I cant do this, I cant function well today! Gggrrrr…..

Why everything seems so berantakan? Why I have no control over all things?

Lately mikir, kalo gua ini orangnya yg harus punya control over stuff. Harus punya!kalo ga bisa stress sendiri. Like now. Like lately. Stress sampe rambut rontok! Bikin gua makin stress aje. Udah rambut tipis, eeehh die rontok….makin streeeesssss…..

selama I live in bali, I barely ngerasa relax. Stress! Really stress! Emang kita jalan2 ke pantai lah, ke ubud lah, ato watch tv lah….but deep down I know gua stress. Rumah yg ga layak tinggal (and im freaking glad that we are moving out soon!!!), taman yg kotor, daon pohon jepun yang rontok mulu bikin gua keki. Rumah yang selalu kotor, baru sapu pel, 10 menit kemudian udah kotor lagi. Belom lagi lemari yg bener2 gua benci! Dari depan gede, tapi dalemnya kecil dan nyebelin. Trus the house smelly. I hate it! Dapur yg udah kaya gudang. Udara dalem rumah yg gua benci! Suasana rumah yg gua benci!

I can say, bali is great for vacation, but NOT for living!

Gua ga pernah fully setuju move to bali kok. He never really asked me. He decided and then he told me we are moving to bali. I have been trying to look at the silver lining. But I haven’t found it yet. Things happened here malah bikin gua makin sebel pindah ke sini. I miss Jakarta, I miss kelapa gading. As much as I hate traffic jam yang rese, I prefer to live in Jakarta. Coz I have everything I needed in Jakarta.

Yes, I am complaining now!!! Biiiiaaarrr…..kesel, kesel, kesel….

3 days til Christmas....

okay, first of all, this post has nothing to do with Christmas countdown....

I just feel like yapping here since I have no mood to talk to a person....

This morning, I found out that somebody hit my car. I dont know how it happened, when it happened.

But cant deny the anger (yep, ANGER) is here!

Been wondering why everything seems falling apart. I lost my grip! hiks....

I cant even handle tiny little thing, like remembering my car insurance due date. heeek!

blah to the blaaaahhh

there's no such thing as Christmas in Bali

Yep! you are reading it right!

No Christmas here.

No decent decorations.

No red nor green color.

No Christmas tree.

(almost) nothing!

haih!

On other note, I think I'm going to skip my yoga (agaaain!!)

A bit guilty, but the mood hasn't been good today.

A new year resolution: Do yoga at least twice a week starting January 2011.

Not sure what am I going to do this weekend. Only have 1 more day left.

I need a good closure, I really do. :(

oh! I want a good book and a quiet night.

!!!!!

PALING GAK SUKA DITUNJUK-TUNJUK DI DEPAN MUKA!

emang menurut lu, gua apaan?

emang menurut lu, lu siapa?

mongki!

i want something more

I want something more.

Other than spending the time together.

I want us to listen and to share.

It's not only about having fun.

It's not only about watching TV together.

I want something more.

Something special, something meaningful.

I want him to listen without judging.

I don't need any comments from him.

I just want his ear and heart.

I want something more.....

mi casa no es su casa

Few people knew I'm a very private person when it came to my properties; i.e: room, house, car, clothes, shoes etc. Basically, everything I owned. You get the picture. Hence, I can be really fussy when one come near (barely touch) my properties without me inviting or offering him/her.

Call me possessive or whatever, like I care.

Saying that, I am well aware sometimes my very-private-behavior can be a pain in my ass.

I have place for everything (read: EVERYTHING), really!

A small example: My desk. I organized my desk with a purpose, which to ensure that I, the owner of the desk, can get everything I need without have to hustle and bustle.

I don't mind they borrowing my stuff, but please keep in mind to be responsible and return it exactly where you get it. Why is it so hard? Am I asking too much?

Let's talk about my car.

Hell, I love my car. I took a damn good care of my car. It's clean (not always, but I try my best to keep it as clean as I can). It's tidy. It's organized. It smells good.

Few rules in my car:

No food allowed (especially something oily, soup of any kind), therefore no eating (or munching) in my car. Hard candy is tolerable, chocolate bar and ice cream are not. Food smells the car, the whole car. It's disturbing!

No colored drinks allowed (as much as I love coffee, I NEVER drink coffee in my car). I can tolerate mineral water.

Max passenger including the driver is four. Five is tolerable, depends on the situation. But five is THE max, regardless my type of car. If I had more than five, you'd see my grumpy face.

No feet or toe on the dashboard. It's simply impolite. Please behave.

Do not step on the side frame of the car when you are going into the car.

Check your shoes/sandals for any mud before you get in. If you have any, please make sure you clean it before you step into the car. Any attempt of cleaning would be great appreciated.

No complaining about how my car looked like, the suspension or any kind. You are riding in my car. I do you a favor. Keep your comments to yourself. Only positive and constructive comments are welcome.

Now move to my house, shall we?

I hate being a host. I really do. My house is my personal area. Therefore, I barely ask people to come and visit my house. But when I decided to invite you, I am inviting you with all my heart.

I drew a pretty thick line between my house and others.

If you are really nice and really responsible or if I knew you well or if you are my immediate family, I might invite you to come, hang around, and maybe spend few nights.

When you took a shower in my bathroom and using my towel without asking for my permission, it was WAY over the line! It was unacceptable!! No laughing matter!!

I think what I'm trying to say is, "mi casa no es su casa."

can feel the heat

judul diatas sama sekali ga ada hubungannya sama isi postingannya....

again, keyboard getting toil....makin susah aja dipencetnya. serasa pake mesin tik aje....

belom yoga minggu ini....haduh!kacau....kudu yoga atuh!

rugi niiiihh....i need my flat tummy!!!

bali lagi panas banget....mataharinya kenceng pisan. kulit kaya dibakar gitu kalo keluar....

not enjoying the heat and the sun.

i miss gloomy grey sky and the rain of course.

disini ujannya becanda doang....ujan seempret, trus panas lagi...

good thingnya jemuran jadi cepet kering....hehehe....

kinda miss wave-watching sih....

nyari hordeng kemaren. liat Onna...bagus sih...and not cheap!

again and again, barang bagus doesnt come cheap!

pengen be'ol....

kemaren bikin karangan buat di website, bikin setengah halaman aja seharian bo...gila ya....

otak udah butek banget, terakhir bikin paper taon 2004 kali tuh...ckckckck...

few scattered updates

haven't log in for sometimes.

we got a house.

they are still building it, but we manage to have changes here and there.

had a miscommunication regarding the placement of the shower glass between the builder and us.

he's willing to bongkar, but there's no guarantee the pipe bisa di konek ke saluran air....ah ribet deh pokoke....

....despite that, i think the house will look great. it's about decoratingnya aja.

checking out Pottery Barn website together with IKEA....

wah...IKEA looks so ugly....ahahahuae....

harga emang kaga boong ya....

also, looking for a desk and a cupboard...

(yeh, kok jadi banyak?)

tadi udah beli ac.

tros.....jajan kacang manis pedes. enak!

trus....besok balik jakarta.

cant wait for my rujak ulek and ketoprak! yiha!!!

cant wait to meet oncom!

btw, ini keyboard susah amat dipencetnya. terutama tombol R, C, and T!!

hih!

ngantuk.....

random

went to a yoga session yesterday.

it was a packed class. 18 participants. made the class much, much more challenging than usual.

the heat i couldn't bear! sweating from the top of my head to the bottom of my toe!

almost passed out in the class. hehehe....

but it was a good class after all. all good!

will be going to Australia in 5 days. *excited!*

pray for a nice weather.

didn't get enough sleep. short fused in the morning. now, okay.

sleepy all day long.

When you are given a warning and a chance....

What would you do?
would you give up instead of fighting?
would you fight?
would you surrender to die?

I hope you are going to fight, not for me or anybody else, but for your own sake.
You are deserve to be more than happy.
So, this is your time to fight to find your Eureka!

Fight, Mother, fight.....

Farewell, Mami....

"You've been a solid fighter, a strong woman, and a great example of how human being should live. You've done your part well, now rest in peace, Aunty. I'm sure God is happy to see you once again."

3 March 1946 - 14 September 2010

Quote Empe, "kita pasti ketemu lagi."

.... Farewell and good bye, Mami ....

Letting someone you love dearly go....

My uncle and my auntie....
Two very different personalities.
One is strong headed, one is soft.
One is so frank, one is so wise.

Been married for 40 years (i think).
Regardless all life challenges they still together until today. Until the day my auntie get really sick. He stand by her all the way.

I think his FB status say it all (and I quote):

"Aku sangat terbuka semua yg aku dengar n lihat aku katakan pada T Koo tidak ada perubahan sedikitpun.Memang ia agak lemah akibat endoscopy karena dibius total biasa aku sungguh bahagia bisa mendampingi istriku dikala ia benar2 membutuhkanku inilah karunia yg diberikan YESUS kpdku untuk mencintainya disepanjang suka n duka.TQ GOD"

I think they are so meant for each other.

no more words to express how i feel........

random

sunday...

dengerin lagu mandarin di you tube....jadi mellow, abis kayanya lagunya sedih pisan...
di luar mendung juga...tambah mellow...hehe

mau ke gereja....

sempet liat2 tiker and hotel....lumayan juga ya...

tadinya mau lari pagi di pantai hari ini, tapi ga jadi deh tidurnya malem sih...
harus coba nih sekali2....hit the beach early in the morning...hehehe...
worried why perut gua gendut sih? berat badan masih sama loh, kemaren sih gara2 masuk angin...lah sekarang kenape?

!

gak pengen di kantor loh sebenernya hari sabtu gini.

blehe!

hello from paradise

hello!

i'm in bali since last week.
we made our way out of jakarta on jul 27, 2010.
initially, was planning to drive from jakarta to bandung, but changed my mind and kept driving.
after 555.55 km and 13 hours 40 minutes later, i drove up to yogyakarta. an achievement i must tell you. never thought i can drive that long and far. quite proud of myself!
it was raining pretty hard several times.

anyway, during the past week we've been cleaning and arranging the house.
had my low moments. not anymore. i'm bouncing back quite fast. thank God for that :)
food been good. weather also good. need to get my life back on track. more discipline!
need to save money since we are planning to buy or hopefully build a house here.

have a trip on oct to sydney, gold coast, and melb. yay!
and more saving to be done!

currently at the office in the boss' room. hihihihi...the liberty of having the husband as my boss. hohohoho....
today is my first day working as a Finance/Office Manager in Ray White Kuta.
praying to have good businesses and harvest in the future.
guess what?i dont even have a desk yet.
create my own job desk. listing what need to buy and be done. seems i have a lot of work!
its been 10 months as an employee. but now, cant think like an employee. i need to think about the business also. haiyo....
had my first meeting this morning. it was oke lah....

oh well, better get back to work!

thats it!!

Think I've been a good person.
But I'm only human.
That is it!!

I'm moving away, I'm taking all I am and starting a new life in a new place.
I don't have to hear from him ever again.
He's NOT part of my life anymore.
Couldn't careless.

See ya and I don't wanna see ya (ever again!)
.....

here, there, and everywhere.....

Cape banget deh.
Ga berasa in about 2 weeks time I'll be leaving jakarta and heading to kuta, bali.
And packing isn't nearly done!*jeger*

Been staying in cawang for a week, bantuin toko. Miss my apartment like crazy!
Miss my privacy, my space, my own time.

A bit excited to move out jakarta, a bit nervous too.
What if ga betah? What if suasananya ga enak?

Lately I can't hear the voices in my head. Kecapean kali ye?
I can't even think.
Maaann....I really need a me time.
Mungkin bener juga yg si nyot bilang kayanya gua lebih seneng idup sendiri...
Haheuaha...gila!ya sendiri emang enak sih kadang2....
And I don't mind sendirian juga...tapi kadang sepi sih...

Kuku gua ancur banget nih....
Kenapa sih kayanya semua kudu gua?
Sampe all the time I have left di jakarta juga kudu dipake??
I refuse...sorry, I still have to do other stuff

Sleepy. Ngawur ngomongnye!

loncat sana, loncat sini

as usual....
otak pikirannya loncat sana, loncat sini....
lagi sakit kepala juga...

apa ya?
banyak sih di otak, cuma bingung mau mulai dari mana...hehehe...
bite me!

ah udah aaahhh

ketika bermalam di cawang.....

Rasanya beda dari yg gua tau dulu.
Sleeping in my old room, not as comfy as the old time.
Maybe this is rasanya leave the old nest and build my own new nest ya?
Not saying cawang is bad.
Cuma udah ga terbiasa aja.
Keadaannya, bisingnya suara kendaraan bermotor, ruangan2 yang rasanya kurang familiar.
Udaranya, warna cahaya lampu. Semuanya beda.
I can't find me here.
I love my new nest, yg bentar lagi akan ditinggalin.
Baru ngerasa "this is home; my, our home"....ehh harus pergi.
Sempet kecewa. Sedih udah pasti.

And jujur aja, I can't say bali is home just yet.
Waktu si suami otaknya lagi lempeeeng banget dia pernah bilang, "this is for a better life, for our family. Our life."
Iya juga sih kalo dipikir2.

It aint easy to say good bye. Aint!
:(

people!!!!

Heran deh orang orang.
Pada kehebohan demo obama...
Duileh!
Kurang kerjaan.
denger dulu, liat dulu baru komentar.
Lah ini...belom juga ada apa2, uda teriak2 sana sini...
Buset deh...

Oh mobil stream udah laku...
So fast. Seriously fast. Maybe its just time.

Setrikaan belom digosok nih
Udah second batch...hihui...
Bodo ah tugas sang suami...hihi

Excited about the coming family trip.
Walopun itu artinya menguras kantong...
Ahahaha...mungkin krn gua pengen liat si mitsoy aja kali ya...

Pengen punya a good sunglasses, just like my ralph lauren sunglasses...
Awet....since 2002, sampe sekarang masih bagus...
Mau beli ahh...

Mau ice cream...kenapa ya?akhir2 ini mau ice cream terus...
Oh well...

a tribute buat si kecil

kecil...
berbulu...

nakal sih engga...
galak juga engga...

manja banget
ga mau turun naek tangga sendiri
padahal bisa, tapi manja....

takut gendong dia, bukan karena dia galak
tapi takut nyakitin dia....
soalnya gua ga tau pasti kaki yang sakit itu yang mana
....pernah coba gendong...tiba2 tereak, "nggeeeeekkk"
lah, salah cara gendongnya....
dimarahin dah gua....

waktu baru dateng bisa duduk ditelapak tangan gua
warnanya item. lucuuuuuuu banget....

dari kecil udah doyan buah...
inget banget, dia pernah jilatin jus alpukat di gelas plastik sampe kepalanya masuk dan mukanya blepotan jus alpuket...ahauehauehae....

iseng banget sama piko, suka humping semena mena....hihihihiii....

terakhir gua liat, just last month.
udah tua, warnanya udah abu abu pudar agak kecoklat-coklatan
waktu itu ngintilin gua ke kantornya si papi, duduk dibawah kaki gua...
seinget gua, dia ga pernah ngintilin gua....tapi hari itu dia ngintilin gua...mungkin karena ga ada orang kali ya?
sempet gua foto foto dan unyeng unyeng...i am so glad sempet unyeng-unyeng dia...

si kecil yang cempreng,
sekarang kamu udah ga di buaran lagi....
udah diatas sana...
gak sakit lagi, ga muntah lagi, ga batuk lagi...
baik baik ya disana....

you holds a special place in my heart, just like piko...
always....

the L town

have you ever really (REALLY, REALLY, REALLYYYYY) wanna go somewhere, you know you just have to go??
for me it's London. It's calling me....again and again!

i know i have to set my priorities right and it's one of mine!

every time i saw or read something about it, my heart itch (lebay ye?hahauehea). just have to go there!!

something about it really struck me.
and people says, "there's internet, there's google map. you dont have to go there to be there"
aahh...gak bisa!it's totally different. liat dari internet and being there physically. i need to be able to breath UK's air. my nostril and lungs need to feel the cold wet air. i want to touch the old modern buildings. i wanna ride the underground, the red double decker bus, the london eye.

katanya sih mahal kesana....tapi teteeepp....gua harus pergi....

have to go there. somehow. someday.

Been a while...

Pengen ice cream.
Blizzard Oreo to be exact. Somehow I like it lately.

Ngantuk. Cape banget.
Tadi yoga. Seru deh.
Nanti kalo jadi pindah yoga gua gimana ya??

Ngantuk ngantuk ngantuk

here, there, and everywhere

lagi berlabuh di rumah nyokap for 4 days, secara ditinggalin ama suami.

2010 already!
cepet sekali.

baru awal taun, tapi udah dihadapi dengan pilihan yang sangaaaaatt sulit.
masih mikir sih.
ahahahahaha....

ah ga mood nulis ah....
pengen nontonnnnn....gggrrrrr....

a note at the end of the day

Catch cold since last Thursday.

Ingus is gone, batuk still here.

Kuping pengeng banget.

Searched in the internet and i'm pretty sure i have blocked Eustachian tube. a bad one.

Tried everything on how to treat it, but nothing works!

Going to see the doctor tomorrow. :(

Need to get better sooooon.

I have plans already. and lots of it!

the husband been very nice and nurturing for the past few days. Thank you :)

the sweetest thing is he didn't use the shower in our bedroom just because he didn't want to wake me up. it was 4.30am. he got an early gig this Sunday.

but, his cell bunyiiii....ahauehuae..jadi gua bangun juga. tapi gesture dan usahanya i really appreciate!

Thank you :)

Suppose to be sleeping right now. Sleepy already. Not to mention tired also!

tapi belom bisa tidur. ada apa gerangan?

oya, cleaning the apartment tadi pagi. bersih bersih bersih. tapi abis bersih bersih kok jadi semaput??heeekk....

almost midnight. and i enjoy my 'me' time. almost no time for me lately. hmmm...

and anehnya mood kerja ga on banget...aneh sekali...ahaeuheu...

banyak yang lagi hamil nih....hihihhih....

anak kantor ada 3, si kendi...whauehae..and somehow, secara ga sadar gua suka usap2 perut sendiri....whauehue...

children?yes, i want children someday when the time is right.

girl or boy?either will be okay. as long as they are healthy and smart.

belom mo tidur nihhhh.....males rasanya...masih pengen sendiri....hihih...

i know, i know should take my rest now.

tapiiiii......

i wanna get better.......lalalalalalaaaa.....

few things back....

been married for exactly 19 days.
the ceremony was awesome. i am glad!
the reception was a success. i am glad!

apartment is still a mess.
working on it, working on it!
promise will be done before Christmas...hehehe...

back in bo le for a month.

planning to go to HK and Macau this december.
needs to do lots of things before pergi kalo jadi.

will spend the weekend in Borobudur Hotel...yeheee...
gratis bo....asik asik asik...
ga tau sih mo ngapain, cuma ya seru aja...ahaeuhe...

bits and pieces, here and there, blah and bleh....

mornin'!

sipping my coffee for sure. :)
haven't brush my teeth for sure.
once my dentist said coffee before brushing my teeth.
so yeah, been doing it since the past 7 or 8 years, unless i don't have the access to tooth brush after coffee. for instance, when i'm travelling. (heck...why am i talking about this?)

been eyeing this boot from banana republic.
but it's currently, out of stock. damn!
it's not that expensive....below $100 pula. halah!
emang ga jodoh kali yeh....

so what's the plan for today?
packing up my last bits and pieces kali ya?
hehehe....

haven't done any treatment yet.
cuek aja kali ya?hehehehe...
mentok juga cuma scrub plus lulur doang....hehehhe....

anyway, 5 more days.
this is my last week as single. huge step!
lately, i've been quite....
lots in my mind, lots to prepare....

tomorrow is my final fitting.

..............

technical meeting

technical meeting.
i can say it went well.
but somehow i feel that she didn't grip it!
somehow.
but dont want to overthink it.
let it flow aja. :)
semoga semuanya lancar...
it's 10 more days!
ini cuma urusan 2 jam aja kok...yg jauh lebih penting itu kehidupan after that....
eheheh.....
i can say the prep is 95% done.
and from my side i think 98% done. so lega lah....

starting from today.....santai santai time....and self preparation time....
makin banyak2 doa....
can't believe that this day is gonna come soon.....
wow!

tidur dulu ah....

nothing in particular

eleven more days to go.

i'm truly exhausted from the packing and the running around.
but enjoying it.
turned out i have lots of crap!hehehe....

you know what?
i'm surviving this miara-kuku-thing...
bothering me for sure. but just don't want to give up...hehehe
one week to go!and my nails are gonna be so pretty!heheheh....

blah....blabbering doang...hehehehe

today random acts

packed my shoes. got 3 boxes already!
threw some pairs, like 5 i guess.

packed some of my documents and stationary.

capenya....

sleepy already now.
been busy, very busy lately.

so im happy spending some time at home, alone.
doing what i love doing....packing!yeheeee....

my hair....oh my hair...its too long.
kalo waktunya cukup, i'll chop it on nov 16!
it'll be gone by then!GONE!
back to short hair do again.
yepeeeee....

im out!

doesn't feel like sunday

doing damage control to my overly dry foot and hands.
masker-ing now.
manicure and pedicure yesterday.

gotta continue the invitation today.
will go to another wedding tonight.

gotta start packing up these days.

haven't really think and ask myself.
--- this thing is coming....soon, real soon....

crazy how time flies ya?
hehehehe.....

not sure what i'm feeling now.
too many things going on in my head but really can't describe one by one.
that's weird.
too many things to do. but haven't really find the time to do it.
hmm....

wanna write. wanna dance. wanna drink until get drunk. wanna share. wanna think. wanna laugh. wanna jump. wanna pray together. wanna cheating the time. wanna rock the world. wanna read tons of books. wanna be alone.

think the hormones is talking.
mellow....

(almost) closing time....

the curtain is finally falling.
thank you so much for your help through out the years.

what i wrote for my-soon-ex-colleagues today.

"Crazy how time flies ya......
Still remember clearly my interview day with Bo Le in November 2007. It was one of the most interesting interview I've ever had.

As you guys know today is my last day working with Bo Le Associates. It is been a hard decision to leave the company but I realized that it is the right time to put a step on my dream (and not becoming a thai thai, I see it as a bonus...hehehe)

It has been a pleasure to work here, but more than that - it has been the privilege to have met and mixed with the people. I guess in the early days we didn’t have any choice but to get along, especially when you have a dozen people jammed into a single portable.
I have enjoyed my time here, and I will miss all that this place represents. As with any special place it is the people who make it and it will be those I will miss the most. Even though we are moving to new horizons in different directions, we will always have our memories of this place.

I won't mention anyone in particular, as it will take way too long, and my fingers are getting tired!
I would like to thank you for all your support, insights, and help you have provided me for the past 2 years.

I am sure reunions and catch-ups will, if not often, be full of laughs and good times, so if anyone feels the urge to contact me, here are my details:
Phone : 0813 1628 4445
Email: marini.hendarmin@gmail.com
And of course Facebook. :P

Goodbye for now, good luck and you never know, see you later!
Marini Hendarmin."

it's a bitter sweet feeling.
i am glad that i am out. on the other hand, i will miss the people here.
i am glad in so many ways - that finally i will put a step on my dream.

Adios people. will miss you all...........

long random post

2 hari lagi.
dan out...!

bitter sweet kinda feeling.

but di kantor kayanya more to bitter this week.
orang-orang lagi stress......

sleepy. wants nap today. hehehe

pengen ke bandung.
cari macem-macem. dari pigura, dasi buat bokap and able, kripik setan, lapo, dan tak lupa baju untuk diriku sendiri....
ahauehuae....

haven't really pack my stuff. haha.
nanti deh abis ini.

lagi ngopi nih. ngantuk skali.
wow...just get my energy back...awesome!
love coffee and ternyata orang hamil pun boleh ngopi.
hore!

nanti malem meeting. should be fun also. yeay!
trus ape lagi ya?
oh undangan is underway.
semoga we have enough time to send all of them.

it's less than a month and i single no more.
aih....cepet amat.
perasaan baru kemaren masih berantem-berantem defense keluarga masing masing.
kayanya proses persiapan ini lancar lancar aja. ga ada hambatan yg berarti, kecuali yg di awal awal itu.
other than that, we are great.

mendadak kayanya active banget otak gua. heheheh...
jumping from one thought to another.
tuing tuing...hihihi

i want candy!

pengen mani and pedi nih...kukunya udah pada jelek.
well, kukunya sih oke. tapi kutikelnya sangat mengganggu.
and a bit nyandu meni and pedi already. haduh...*tepok2 jidat*

rambut udah panjang banget niiiihhh...
abis 15 nov im so going to chop my hair off!
and oh excited of the trips we are gonna have in the coming week and months. :)

OH!
I'm wanna say a HUGE thank YOU to my super awesome Lord.
FOR EVERYTHING. EVERY SINGLE TINY things im my life.
can't mention one by one, but He bless me abudantly (read: ABUDANTLYYYYY)
and for that.....terima kasih.... :)

sometimes i wonder....why didnt i feel nervous like the others?
but one thing for sure, i have no doubt - that this is my path. and he's the one God sent me as my partner in this journey.
as we proceed through the preparation, my faith grew stronger. somehow :)
i know this journey is not all about candy, rainbow, and bed of roses (...and dont mind if it is tho...heheh).
i am well aware that this journey is about love and commitment.
im sure the journey is not gonna be easy. there'll be bumpy roads, rocky stages, and ugly moments which might turn us crazy (or crazier...hehe).
he can be the biggest j*ck*ss and i can be the biggest a b*tch...but it just us.
and as time goes by....i pray in God's name that we are getting stronger and wiser as a couple and an individual (giant amen!)

twenty seven hours to go

it's twenty seven hours to go...
...until i fly from this thing called the office...
....and be on my own....

can't wait, if you ask me.

not sure what would happen in the future.
but im sure im done here.

lately the office is kinda stiff.
stress out i think.

ngantuk.

one month and random post

today is exactly one month before the big day.
and just realized this morning.
hehehe....

crazy how time flies ya?
tsk tsk tsk....

pray pray pray so the final preparation going smooth and the d-day will be smooth....
but pray pray pray pray pray super hard so that the married life will be a great blessing for us and others :)
amen.

starts to realized even more that my decision to leave the company is soOOOooo right.
i am glad. i am more than glad. :)
i dont think i can (well, i want to) handle the pressure anymore.
2 years is more than enough.

getting more and more sure that handling my own finances is my real passion.
working hard for me, not for the company. i (ME, not the company) will enjoy the hard work (MONEY).

on other notes, my eyes getting blurry. i need to check them up soon.
after oct 23 i can do it lah.
so busy after the 23rd.

haiyoh. its getting closer. more money needed. (prayiiiiiiiinnnnggg)

suntuk

out of the blue.
slow but sure.
gua suntuk.
very upset.
not sure why.
feeling like ice cream, tapi ga bisa juga.
hmmm...
really wants ice cream and chillis at the moment.
damn

went to bali

went to bali last weekend for n&n's wedding.
regardless, all the hassles it was a great wedding. at least the bride and groom were happy. thats the most important thing.

i had fun.
i had lots of laugh.
i love bali. it was super hot, but i love it.
i love the fact that people wont stare for whatever im wearing or do.
hehehehe....

BUT!

i dont like kuta beach anymore.
too many abang2 iseng disana.
next time i go to bali, im pretty sure i'd pass kuta.

seminyak is my next destination. also, dreamland and ubud.
hmmm...kapan ya ke bali lagi?hihihihi

rain drops

rain drops.
rain drops.
rain drops.
rain drops.

love watching the rain drop.
it makes my heart warm somehow.
it makes my eyes heavy.
it makes my mind running through time.

i don't know what's with me and the rain drops.
think i'm falling in love all over again with it. :)

wish i'm in the apartment now.
with big glass windows. or just standing in the balcony watching rain drops with a cup of hot coffee in my hand. and mungkin a great book.
all alone.....man...that's heaven for me. :)

it's done!

Udah bilang.
udah announced.
it's done.
i'm relieved!
hehehehe.

gak peduli lagi.
lega, lega, lega, lega, lega....
hehehehe....

said and done.

udah bilang whatever i need to say. :)
lega.
23 oct will be the last day.
heheheh.
waktunya untuk santai2 kali ya.
take sometime off. belajar new things.

lega. lega. lega. lega.
terima kasih Tuhan.
Mohon bimbingannya in the future. :)

few scattered things.

lusa bonyok balik....yey!

besok senen lagi....damn....after one week of ga kerja...
hadoh....it'll be hard to start over lagi....

just realized im about to make my dream come true
gua inget, gua pernah bilang ke si gendut' "i want to be an investor, do nothing but invest"
trus just this morning nyadar kalo im actually going to do it in a few months time.
lots of thing to learn - the chart flow, the market condition.
lots of new jargons to understand. but im happy reading that stuff!
jadi inget masa2 ambil kelas finance 181 - investment management.
the professor, the load of the class, the final project (analyzing McDonald's stock value)
i remember i did enjoy that course...wahauehuaehua.....
btw, buku2nya kudu dibaca lagi kayanya...

on the other note, i am afraid. its the real world!it's not about what grade im getting....its real money!
once it's gone, it is GONE!*amit2*
haih....

oh ya....got my bridesmaid....yeaaaaaayyyy....
i believe she's the right person.... :)
after asking 2 persons.....turned 1 down, di turned down 1....dapet jugeeee.....
phew!

kudunya sih nyuci baju sekarang...
tapi males....ahauehaeuhuae....

oh ye, did express photo frame shopping last night. we managed to get 8 in less than 1 hr...ahauehue...oke lah yaaaaaa...

o iye lagi, balik ke idea kemaren...dapet meja buat telpon...yeay...tapi ternyata itu meja buat wine toh....oh well, tak ape lah...
naksir a white dining table buat meja di home office.....sukaaa banget ama tu meja since the first time i saw it....cuma agak kotor....semoga bisa dibersiin deh....hehehhe

semalem ngimpi soal resignation....hehehe....gonna come true soon....leganya.... :)

JEPUN it is!

vacation blues

will be having 3 days vacation in a few days.
no working mood find in the system.

tali jam tangan swatch gua putus.
hiikkk....
beli pake gaji pertama tuh....50 dolar....di swatch chicago. inget banget....

udah ga pengen kerja...pengen pulang aja
di rumah...mulai beresin buku2 buat dibawa ke apartment.hehehhe....nyicil gitu...hohohoh

mo pulang....

apparently....

It's not for me.
apparently....

yah...sutra lah ya...
sempet berpikir....percuma dong selama ini im asking my troops to pray...
percuma....
ternyata ga didengerin juga...

oh well...
its all just sink in now....

kecewa banget, i never (NEVER) pray this hard for something...never....
tapi nyatanya ga dikasih juga....
emang nasib, nasib...

honestly, i cant think any positive thoughts at the moment.
sutra lah ya...so just dont give me any positive feedback yet....
let me feel the dissapointment right now.

and i'll be okay soon.....promised!

2 weeks after that day....

is today....
how come i haven't heard anything ya?
haiyoh....
i don't like this....

should i call or not ya?
should i?
should i?
i think i'm gonna.....
i think i should, if i want something real bad, i think i should chase ye?
you think?

deg-degan banget sih.
tapi kok ndak ada kabar sama sekali yah?
this is not good man.
really not good.
*sigh*

boleh ga?

boleh ga kesel ama yg-di-atas-sana?
abis ga ada kabarnya sampe sore ini.
bingung deh.
ga sabar ye?
abis kesel.
gak jelas.
hik.

im a very impatient human.
im a human.
i have flaws.

i know i still have to work on it.
but i want this one soooo bad.
i really do.
bener deh. i really do.
never want something this bad.
let me correct it, this is one of the things i want real bad.

mau teriak, tapi tak berguna.
aku berdoa. berdoa banget.
aku pasrah. bener deh.
but right now i just want to let things out.
boleh kan?

will continue praying........

OH!

lupa cerita!
yesterday when i was on my way to the office ada orank norak!
emang biasanya gua suka nyanyi2 di dalem mobil...eh itu si norak ngeliatin gua sambil mesem2 sendiri...
ikh!
gua sebel, plototin balik aje....
rese lu!
ga pernah liat orang nyanyi2 di dalem mobil ye?
heran deh...
mind your own business dong!
gua tau lu punya mata, tapi mbok ya tau diri.
kalo emang ngeliat itu hak koe, tapi mbok ya tau sopan santun...kalo ngeliatin orang jangan terlalu obvious toh!!
jangan dipelototin like i am an object!!
sinting!
disangkain gua ga punya mata kali bisa dliat dia juga....
tolol deh...heran!
ga disekolahin ya??mungkin engga sih, secara you dont know how to behave....

oh well....

tunggu!

Tuhan,
kenapa belom ada kabar jugaaa???

sampe bingung....
ada apa ini?
and there's nothing i can do pula.
gosh, i hate this.

i know musti sabar...
and its not the deadline anyway.

iya lah....ngerti harus nunggu memang.
tapi kalo sampe besok sore ga ada kabar, boleh kan daku yg tanya?

penasaran deh...
kali iya ya iya....kalo engga ya sudah, but at least i know how to plan my life in the next months.
just wanna know the result.
hope it'll be mine. :)
i really do. :) :) :) :)

huh

kesel dah
nyariin romo kok susah banget yak...
dari minggu lalu nih...and i hate semua yg mendadak.
i like to plan things...ga suka mepet2 and dadakan!
apa lagi ini berhubungan dengan surat2 segala...this is sucks!
kesel!

gimana orang ga mo kesel sama something gereja related.
kebanyakan birokrasi, kebanyakan aturan. well, aturannya sih fine la. emang tujuannya biar jadi teratur and has system.
tapi orang2nya itu ga bisa diajak kerja sama.
they work there, and they should provide us with the service dong.
im sure they get paid.
and not sure how much. but its not the case lah.
you work there, and thats your job to help people who needed help.

susah banget sih.
keseeeeellll....

BOSAN

bosan sekali.
pengen pipis lagi.

bosan sekali.
pengen ujan.

hari ini panas banget.
nanti dinner nasi uduk.
aku lapar.

besok udah selasa.
berarti 2 hari lagi ke hari kamis.
berarti 2 minggu dari hari itu.
berarti hasilnya udah ada dong mustinya?
hope it'll be mine. :)

it's monday

..... 11 days after that meeting day ......

still no news.
still waiting.
still patience.
still praying (HARD).
still having faith.
still hoping for the best.
still surrendering.
still enjoying my day.

no damage done for the past few days. :)

semoga, semoga

today's mission

hari ini rencananya mau telpon si bapak.
and i did. tenyata belom ada kabar. belum final katanya.
may i say sesuai harapanku?

now it's praying time. harder.

and i will. hehehe

after the earthquake

earthquake in Tasikmalaya 7.3 SR.
Deep condolences for all the victim and family.

i was in the office. typing an email. then suddenly, i feel dizzy and i can feel my body move from the left to the right.
realized that something was wrong.
calmly (i surprised myself) i gathered my belongings and made my way to the emergency stairs.
some people were panicking like crazy, some were relaxed.
i hate those who kept screaming prayers in panic. just keep it those prayers in your heart lah.
don't make the situation worse.

we went to starbucks, had a cup of coffee (or iced cafe latte to be exact), and a chit chat.
when they all chit chatting i realized that all my problems are so tiny compare to this.
in fact, my problems are nothing!

i am so glad that i'm home and safe.

---- so, let me talk to bapak tomorrow and get this over with ----

lapar....cari makan aaaahhh....

What Are You Worried About?

Taken from http://www.purposedriven.com/article.do?method=articlePage&contentId=201820&trkid=ddnews

"Don’t fret or worry. Instead of worrying, pray. Let petitions and praises shape your worries into prayers, letting God know your concerns. Before you know it, a sense of God's wholeness, everything coming together for good, will come and settle you down. It's wonderful what happens when Christ displaces worry at the center of your life” (Philippians 4:6–7 MSG).

Two businessmen were talking about the economy:
Jack: “I’m about to lose my job and our house is in foreclosure, but I don’t worry about it.”
Bob: “How can you not be worried?”
Jack: “I’ve hired a professional worrier. He does all my worrying for me. That way I don’t have to think about it!”
Bob: “That’s a fantastic idea. How much does it cost to hire a professional worrier?”
Jack: “$50,000 a year.”
Bob: “$50,000! Where are you going to get that kind of money?”
Jack: “I don’t know. That’s HIS worry!”

Worry is something you learn to do.

There is no such thing as a “born worrier.” It is a learned response to life. You learned to worry from two sources:
1. You learned to worry from experience. After years of mistakes, failures, and unfulfilled expectations, you’ve discovered that things don’t always turn out right. Out of these experiences you formed the habit of worrying.
2. You learned to worry from examples. There are many models around you. Studies show that children usually pick up their parent’s worries. Anxious parents raise anxious kids.

Since worry is a learned response to life, it can be unlearned!

The starting point for overcoming worry is to realize it is useless. It does you no good to worry. It is “stewing without doing.” Worry has never changed anything. Worry cannot change the past. Worry cannot control the future. Worry only makes you miserable today.

Worry has never solved a problem, never paid a bill, and never cured an illness. It only paralyzes you so you can’t work on the solution. Worry is like racing a car when its engine is in neutral; it doesn’t get you anywhere, it just uses up gas.

The Bible teaches, “An anxious heart weighs a man down” (Proverbs 12:25 NIV).

On top of that, worry exaggerates the problem. It plays on your imagination. Have you ever noticed that when you worry about a problem it gets bigger? Every time you repeat if over and over in your mind you tend to add details, amplifying it so you feel worse.

What’s the solution? Instead of worrying, talk to God about what’s worrying you. He is someone who can do something about it.

It's exactly what I need right now. I love the way God making sure that I'm in His good hands.
I shouldn't worry. And I'm gonna try my best not to.
If that thing isn't for me, that it's not for me. But I'm pretty sure that I still need to do something if I really want this thing - so let me call si bapak tomorrow and find out.

so yeah...lets have a peaceful day. people around me has been veru supportive of whatever my decisions are. and im thanking God for that. i really do. :)

knock, knock....

knock, knock...
Anybody there?

knock, knock....
yoohooo??

knock, knock...
hope you hear me.

knock, knock...
please hear me.

knock, knock...
i really want it...badly...
i just can't take this anymore.
i hate lying. should've listen to my heart. long time ago.

knock, knock...
please make my dream come true. please.....

the thing....

the thing is...
as an employee, i'm pretty sure that taking (a) leave(s) (no matter how many days at any times of the month) is my right.
but the thing is....here, i cannot do such things without getting an upset face from the boss.
frankly, i dont quite understand.
yes, i know i should consider the office condition and situation before i decided to take leaves. and i think i understand it pretty well. it's only ONE day leave, by the way.
why can't i take my leave which suppose to be my right?

it's ridiculous..seriously.

i am part of the family, am i not??

tell me which part you don't understand!

cerita-cerita di long weekend

abis long weekend...senangnya!

ga kemana2, di jakarta doang...and im happy :)

hari sabtu, 15 aug 2008
ikut kelas yoga, it was tiring....keringetan bo....but it was good.
abis itu ke tempat jual furniture kayu...I LOVE their stuff...
bagus, bagus...bule style gitu deh....simple and kayu solid!!
so far udah beli trunk box buat jadi coffee table....
and so far udah fell in love with:
1. wine drawer (which gonna be my meja dandan)
2. console table with mirror
3. huge foyer desk (might not get this one...gede banget, but very useful)
4. TV storage dan pasangannya
5. those little boxes....

malemnya kondangan si stephen, 'guru' gua waktu kuliah di binus dulu...hehehe...
congrat's man...trus pulang lah...

hari minggu, 16 aug 2009
skipped yoga.
ke sunter - acara gathering anak2 milwaukee, ga gitu rame...
ponakannya lia yg kecil lucu banget....hihihihih....bandel!

abis dari sunter ke JHCC, beli piring dan kawan2nya:
1. 10 piring warna biru
2. 6 mangkok kecil + 6 piring buat tatakannya warna ijo
3. 3 mangkok rada gede warna item
4. 1 piring buat sayur warna putih
5. 1 mangkok popcorn warna merah (hore!)
6. 6 mug (3 warna putih, 3 warna biru muda-ish)
7. 1 lusin sendok makan
8. 1 lusin garpu makan
9. setengah lusin sendok kecil
10. setengah lusin garpu kecil
11. 2 piring sayur kotak warna putih
12. 1 mangkok geudeeeeen warna coklat

gotong gotong kardus isi piring dan mangkok gempor juga ya..lemes...hihihih
trus ke senayan city, tapi sebelomnya mampir ke senayan golf klub....beli sweater dan celana pendek!
trus ke senayan city deh, makan pho 2000....ngubek2 diskonan di toko sport (apaan ya?lupa!)
dapet dry fit polo shirt buat si gendut kaya udah dapet rejeki nomplok....abis bajunya kecil2 banget...ahahahaha....
trus nonton gi joe...it was good...pengen naek pesawat mereka...seru kali ya...

hari senen, 17 aug 2009
ke new brides ama nyokap mo pilih baju skalian liat foto...pilih foto dari 203 ke 20...sukses!hore!ga nambah!hore!
bagus fotonya...suka.
trus ke mall...ngepo sama san2 and cing2....kalo ga maksa pulang bisa sampe malem nongkrong disana...ahahaha...ada aja yg diomongin...hihihih
trus ke rumah si gendut dulu....dia mandi...
trus ke mall artha gading, ke ace hardware....liatin piso dan pernak pernik dapur....
ga banyak pilihan...bingung ya mo cari dimana...
trus ke sunter, maen tenis....jadi pengen maen lagi...ahuaehuea...

ah pulang ah

tuin tuing

hari sabtu, berarti yoga time lagi...hehehe
twisted my body...sakittttt....

haven't really pray lately....
and guess what?God really shown his grace to me...
maaann...bad child, bad child!!!

i am worried about someone....
just read a blog about her and it worries me....
i don't even know what to say, what to do...
coz i know i won't help....
i promised myself to pray for her, but seringan lupanya daripada ingetnya...
bad child!bad child!!!

:( :( :( :( :( :(

siang siang begini...

abis makan siang...
ngantuk tak terkira...
abis bahas couple relationship over lunch...

it is interesting...ahahahahauea....
and a never ending subject....seru!

pengen ke bali....
pengen santai2 aja...stress bgt...hiohiihhi

pengen ke bali, dari pengen ke bali sampe udah pengen nyemplung aja ke kolam renang....
dan berendem....

hua...
back to work ah....hihihiih

cerita ceritaku...

sedang semangat di kantor for a specific reason.
hihihihihi....

can't wait until THR come...ka ching....hihihhih

my nails are pretty....senang.
yoga was fun.

hair getting longer like crazy.need a hair cut.

i'm in love

See the picture on the left?

His name is Russell, an eight year old Wilderness Explorer boy.

He melted my heart.

I love him. *hugs, hugs, hugs*