Hai...

Well, well, well...
Look who's updating her blog! 

Feeling crappy actually. 

I think I lost my ability dealing with pressure.  I try to take it one by one. Blocking each worry one at a time.  Otherwise I'll go crazy. 

I'm afraid he fail life. Because I don't prepare him enough. 
I'm afraid that he'd be alone.  
I'm afraid people will take advantages of him,  bully him. 

Sometimes I feel lonely in this autism journey. Nobody backing me up. It's hard. It's a long journey. 

Given

This beautiful boy is the greatest teacher in my life. He teaches me how to be patient (failing miserably today). He teaches that i am way stronger than i thought. He teaches me how to forgive and forget. How to let go and hold no grudges. How to smile and walk one step at a time while the storm is blowing. Sometimes life is suck (there's no other way to say it), but you pulled through. We pulled through. He's a reminder that i need to keep going, i need to keep learning. His fight is my fight.

oblada obladi...lalalalalaaaa...

Malem malem beginiii...adalah saat2 yg kadang tidak menyenangkan. Pikir2an suka pada nongol. 

Hari ini ga kemana2....given renang. Udah 2 minggu kayanya dia ga renang. Seneng de liat dia renang. Hepi dia....

Mulai yoga lagi nih...senangnya! Bisa find time buat olah raga. 

Mau ke bandung. Ngajak nyak jalan2. Kasian dia jarang jalan2....

Masih berdoa about dv. Semoga diberikan jalaann....amiiiiiinnn...please God please hear our prayers...

Moga2an given bobo nya enak malem ini. Amin...

Bobok ah 

i need a break

I need a break....
From motherhood
From Given...
From the dull days, just like today...

I need to be on my own.
I need to find me.

Its been SO long since i spend time for me. I need an escape. A fresh set of time just for me.

Its not being selfish.
I need to take care of me.
I need to refuel me.
I need to fill my glass.

Im tired.

the randomness of me

Dari kemaren dadakan pengen bikin tato. Something simple. Few words maybe.
Di both pergelangan tangan. Still no idea mau tulisan apa...

Pengen cukuuur. Will chop my hair short short shoooorrrttt (kalo mood belom berubah)

Need something sweet, literally and figuratively...

Life been too flat lately. Bosan. Is there something more out of (my) life?
Udah pada eneg kali ya denger gua ngoceh bosan bosan bosan...sorry! Emg bosan!

Pinggang sakit dari tadi subuh. Ga jelas kenapa. Need more exercise i think?

Ga napsu makan. Ga semangat ngapa2in. Cuma pengen pergi aja. Kemana kek gitu.

Im seeing dots....ga jelas bakalan jadi bentuk apa. Cuma dots dots dots...

Pengen hong tang or blackball...pengen steak.

Pengen nangis, tapi ga bisa dan ga tau apa yg mau ditangisin. Galau meeeen...

Kok kayanya gini2 aja sih?

far

Let's go somewhere far....

Let's enjoy the world from different side, literally! Go to the other side of the world. Somewhere far, somewhere new...

Let's taste different life once a while. Take a break from our current life... take a break from our troubles... 

I'm itching to travel. Again! 

Well well helloooww...
Long time no see...

Lagi nemenin bocah bobo siang...
He's 19 months now...
Beberapa hari belakangan ini keliatan akal dan logika nya uda jalan banget deh.
Contoh: dia mau masuk ke tudung saji (yes, hobi duduk didalem tudung saji), sedangkan dia ga nemu pegangan. Dia geret2 tu tudung saji pake kaki sampe dia nemu tempat untung pegangan. Masuk and duduk deh...smart!

Rambut juga udah makin tebel looh! Panjang...menuju kegondrongan we go!!

Makan pinterrr....
Demen banget nonton!

Kosa kata juga nambah...the newest is "come" 

Udah 2 bulan nih di jakarta. Barang2 belon di unpacked semua. Belom punya tempat tinggal fixed. 

Still struggling....it wasnt even my war...i hate the fact that i barely can do anything about this. Driving me craaazzeeh you know! 
It's hard to relax lately. Head gonna explode kayanya...
I just want to have a happy life. Yea yea dont give me the-life-is-a-decision theory, ok? Just dont..

This thing is affecting our relationship. In a negative way...gggrrr....

Hopefully we can bounce up soon...