few scattered things.

lusa bonyok balik....yey!

besok senen lagi....damn....after one week of ga kerja...
hadoh....it'll be hard to start over lagi....

just realized im about to make my dream come true
gua inget, gua pernah bilang ke si gendut' "i want to be an investor, do nothing but invest"
trus just this morning nyadar kalo im actually going to do it in a few months time.
lots of thing to learn - the chart flow, the market condition.
lots of new jargons to understand. but im happy reading that stuff!
jadi inget masa2 ambil kelas finance 181 - investment management.
the professor, the load of the class, the final project (analyzing McDonald's stock value)
i remember i did enjoy that course...wahauehuaehua.....
btw, buku2nya kudu dibaca lagi kayanya...

on the other note, i am afraid. its the real world!it's not about what grade im getting....its real money!
once it's gone, it is GONE!*amit2*
haih....

oh ya....got my bridesmaid....yeaaaaaayyyy....
i believe she's the right person.... :)
after asking 2 persons.....turned 1 down, di turned down 1....dapet jugeeee.....
phew!

kudunya sih nyuci baju sekarang...
tapi males....ahauehaeuhuae....

oh ye, did express photo frame shopping last night. we managed to get 8 in less than 1 hr...ahauehue...oke lah yaaaaaa...

o iye lagi, balik ke idea kemaren...dapet meja buat telpon...yeay...tapi ternyata itu meja buat wine toh....oh well, tak ape lah...
naksir a white dining table buat meja di home office.....sukaaa banget ama tu meja since the first time i saw it....cuma agak kotor....semoga bisa dibersiin deh....hehehhe

semalem ngimpi soal resignation....hehehe....gonna come true soon....leganya.... :)

JEPUN it is!

vacation blues

will be having 3 days vacation in a few days.
no working mood find in the system.

tali jam tangan swatch gua putus.
hiikkk....
beli pake gaji pertama tuh....50 dolar....di swatch chicago. inget banget....

udah ga pengen kerja...pengen pulang aja
di rumah...mulai beresin buku2 buat dibawa ke apartment.hehehhe....nyicil gitu...hohohoh

mo pulang....

apparently....

It's not for me.
apparently....

yah...sutra lah ya...
sempet berpikir....percuma dong selama ini im asking my troops to pray...
percuma....
ternyata ga didengerin juga...

oh well...
its all just sink in now....

kecewa banget, i never (NEVER) pray this hard for something...never....
tapi nyatanya ga dikasih juga....
emang nasib, nasib...

honestly, i cant think any positive thoughts at the moment.
sutra lah ya...so just dont give me any positive feedback yet....
let me feel the dissapointment right now.

and i'll be okay soon.....promised!

2 weeks after that day....

is today....
how come i haven't heard anything ya?
haiyoh....
i don't like this....

should i call or not ya?
should i?
should i?
i think i'm gonna.....
i think i should, if i want something real bad, i think i should chase ye?
you think?

deg-degan banget sih.
tapi kok ndak ada kabar sama sekali yah?
this is not good man.
really not good.
*sigh*

boleh ga?

boleh ga kesel ama yg-di-atas-sana?
abis ga ada kabarnya sampe sore ini.
bingung deh.
ga sabar ye?
abis kesel.
gak jelas.
hik.

im a very impatient human.
im a human.
i have flaws.

i know i still have to work on it.
but i want this one soooo bad.
i really do.
bener deh. i really do.
never want something this bad.
let me correct it, this is one of the things i want real bad.

mau teriak, tapi tak berguna.
aku berdoa. berdoa banget.
aku pasrah. bener deh.
but right now i just want to let things out.
boleh kan?

will continue praying........

OH!

lupa cerita!
yesterday when i was on my way to the office ada orank norak!
emang biasanya gua suka nyanyi2 di dalem mobil...eh itu si norak ngeliatin gua sambil mesem2 sendiri...
ikh!
gua sebel, plototin balik aje....
rese lu!
ga pernah liat orang nyanyi2 di dalem mobil ye?
heran deh...
mind your own business dong!
gua tau lu punya mata, tapi mbok ya tau diri.
kalo emang ngeliat itu hak koe, tapi mbok ya tau sopan santun...kalo ngeliatin orang jangan terlalu obvious toh!!
jangan dipelototin like i am an object!!
sinting!
disangkain gua ga punya mata kali bisa dliat dia juga....
tolol deh...heran!
ga disekolahin ya??mungkin engga sih, secara you dont know how to behave....

oh well....

tunggu!

Tuhan,
kenapa belom ada kabar jugaaa???

sampe bingung....
ada apa ini?
and there's nothing i can do pula.
gosh, i hate this.

i know musti sabar...
and its not the deadline anyway.

iya lah....ngerti harus nunggu memang.
tapi kalo sampe besok sore ga ada kabar, boleh kan daku yg tanya?

penasaran deh...
kali iya ya iya....kalo engga ya sudah, but at least i know how to plan my life in the next months.
just wanna know the result.
hope it'll be mine. :)
i really do. :) :) :) :)

huh

kesel dah
nyariin romo kok susah banget yak...
dari minggu lalu nih...and i hate semua yg mendadak.
i like to plan things...ga suka mepet2 and dadakan!
apa lagi ini berhubungan dengan surat2 segala...this is sucks!
kesel!

gimana orang ga mo kesel sama something gereja related.
kebanyakan birokrasi, kebanyakan aturan. well, aturannya sih fine la. emang tujuannya biar jadi teratur and has system.
tapi orang2nya itu ga bisa diajak kerja sama.
they work there, and they should provide us with the service dong.
im sure they get paid.
and not sure how much. but its not the case lah.
you work there, and thats your job to help people who needed help.

susah banget sih.
keseeeeellll....

BOSAN

bosan sekali.
pengen pipis lagi.

bosan sekali.
pengen ujan.

hari ini panas banget.
nanti dinner nasi uduk.
aku lapar.

besok udah selasa.
berarti 2 hari lagi ke hari kamis.
berarti 2 minggu dari hari itu.
berarti hasilnya udah ada dong mustinya?
hope it'll be mine. :)

it's monday

..... 11 days after that meeting day ......

still no news.
still waiting.
still patience.
still praying (HARD).
still having faith.
still hoping for the best.
still surrendering.
still enjoying my day.

no damage done for the past few days. :)

semoga, semoga

today's mission

hari ini rencananya mau telpon si bapak.
and i did. tenyata belom ada kabar. belum final katanya.
may i say sesuai harapanku?

now it's praying time. harder.

and i will. hehehe

after the earthquake

earthquake in Tasikmalaya 7.3 SR.
Deep condolences for all the victim and family.

i was in the office. typing an email. then suddenly, i feel dizzy and i can feel my body move from the left to the right.
realized that something was wrong.
calmly (i surprised myself) i gathered my belongings and made my way to the emergency stairs.
some people were panicking like crazy, some were relaxed.
i hate those who kept screaming prayers in panic. just keep it those prayers in your heart lah.
don't make the situation worse.

we went to starbucks, had a cup of coffee (or iced cafe latte to be exact), and a chit chat.
when they all chit chatting i realized that all my problems are so tiny compare to this.
in fact, my problems are nothing!

i am so glad that i'm home and safe.

---- so, let me talk to bapak tomorrow and get this over with ----

lapar....cari makan aaaahhh....

What Are You Worried About?

Taken from http://www.purposedriven.com/article.do?method=articlePage&contentId=201820&trkid=ddnews

"Don’t fret or worry. Instead of worrying, pray. Let petitions and praises shape your worries into prayers, letting God know your concerns. Before you know it, a sense of God's wholeness, everything coming together for good, will come and settle you down. It's wonderful what happens when Christ displaces worry at the center of your life” (Philippians 4:6–7 MSG).

Two businessmen were talking about the economy:
Jack: “I’m about to lose my job and our house is in foreclosure, but I don’t worry about it.”
Bob: “How can you not be worried?”
Jack: “I’ve hired a professional worrier. He does all my worrying for me. That way I don’t have to think about it!”
Bob: “That’s a fantastic idea. How much does it cost to hire a professional worrier?”
Jack: “$50,000 a year.”
Bob: “$50,000! Where are you going to get that kind of money?”
Jack: “I don’t know. That’s HIS worry!”

Worry is something you learn to do.

There is no such thing as a “born worrier.” It is a learned response to life. You learned to worry from two sources:
1. You learned to worry from experience. After years of mistakes, failures, and unfulfilled expectations, you’ve discovered that things don’t always turn out right. Out of these experiences you formed the habit of worrying.
2. You learned to worry from examples. There are many models around you. Studies show that children usually pick up their parent’s worries. Anxious parents raise anxious kids.

Since worry is a learned response to life, it can be unlearned!

The starting point for overcoming worry is to realize it is useless. It does you no good to worry. It is “stewing without doing.” Worry has never changed anything. Worry cannot change the past. Worry cannot control the future. Worry only makes you miserable today.

Worry has never solved a problem, never paid a bill, and never cured an illness. It only paralyzes you so you can’t work on the solution. Worry is like racing a car when its engine is in neutral; it doesn’t get you anywhere, it just uses up gas.

The Bible teaches, “An anxious heart weighs a man down” (Proverbs 12:25 NIV).

On top of that, worry exaggerates the problem. It plays on your imagination. Have you ever noticed that when you worry about a problem it gets bigger? Every time you repeat if over and over in your mind you tend to add details, amplifying it so you feel worse.

What’s the solution? Instead of worrying, talk to God about what’s worrying you. He is someone who can do something about it.

It's exactly what I need right now. I love the way God making sure that I'm in His good hands.
I shouldn't worry. And I'm gonna try my best not to.
If that thing isn't for me, that it's not for me. But I'm pretty sure that I still need to do something if I really want this thing - so let me call si bapak tomorrow and find out.

so yeah...lets have a peaceful day. people around me has been veru supportive of whatever my decisions are. and im thanking God for that. i really do. :)