me being egois....

aku punya ini...
tapi mau yang itu juga...

kalo lepas yang ini trus ambil yang itu....hhhmm...
ato lepas yang itu trus ambil yang ini?
ahhh...ga maooo...mau dua2nya aja...
gimana?boleh ga?

yang ini ato yang itu ya?
bingung....
can have both for a moment? *maruk moden ON*
pleaseeee???

it's time to get up!

Yes, it's time to get up!
To work my butt off....
For something new, for something better...

Been busy with the new job....
This time I know I made the right decision, work wise yah...
And I'm sure this is gonna be big....amen to that!

Still praying for the same thing....
Dear God, please make those requests come true...please please pleaseee...hiikkkssss....

yahh gitu deeehhh.....

Cinta itu ...

For me, Cinta itu kerja keras, at the same time it requires teamwork.
Biar sekeras apapun satu orang itu bekerja kalo ga ada teamwork semuanya akan sia-sia.

Cinta itu pengertian.
Cinta itu tau dimana harus menempatkan diri untuk partnernya.
Cinta itu akan berkata jujur kalo memang partnernya salah.
Cinta itu akan selalu membela partnernya didepan orang banyak walaupun dia bersalah. One can talk to he/she afterwards.
Cinta itu tidak akan mempermalukan partnernya. NO MATTER WHAT!

Cinta itu bijaksana.
Cinta itu harus ada kompromi.
Cinta itu saling mengalah demi kepentingan BERSAMA.

Cinta itu ga boleh egois.
Cinta itu manis and hurtful at the same time.

Cinta itu lucu.
Cinta itu kejam.
Cinta itu complicated.

Cinta itu commitment.
Cinta itu saling memberi. Kalo in a relationship salah satu pihak memberi terlalu banyak, itu udah ga sehat.

Cinta itu belajar untuk membiarkan orang yang kamu cintai untuk memilih pilihannya sendiri even pilihan itu ga sesuai dengan pilihanmu.

Cinta itu penantian.
Cinta itu berkat yang paling besar.
Dikala kamu bisa mencintai seseorang dengan tulus tanpa memikirkan timbal balik maka itulah disaat kamu jadi orang yang paling bijaksana sedunia.

Cinta itu harus dijaga, dipelihara.
Benih-benih tidak akan tumbuh kalo tidak dipupuk dengan benar, begitu juga dengan cinta.

Those are my definitions of love. hohohohoho…

perjuanganku ....

aku sedang berjuang
berjuang melawan gejolak hati
berjuang melawan keegoisan diri
berjuang melawan gelora emosi
berjuang membuka cakrawala dunia
aku akan berjuang sampai mati...
.......

*yah...error lagi*

the current me...

I've lost my appetite to live...

I'm drowning deeper and deeper...

I feel like a zombie...

I have nothing to look forward to...

I'm losing my sanity...

I've lost my battle...

I wish I could stop living this nothingness...

I'm not me....

Dear the old me,
Where did you go?
I need you now...please don't leave me...
But you are gone...why?
I wish upon a star that you were here and held my hands to assure me that everything is gonna be alright....

Love,
the current me.

Someone gave me this ....

birunya hati kembali menjadi pelangi
rintik hujan membasuh bersih jiwa
memberi jalan indahnya cinta
menembus hati yang telah tersakiti
sentuhan, tatapan, dan suaranya
membuat gelisah diri ini
hingga ke alam khayalku teringin memeluk dan menyentuh dirinya
tetapi terlalu sulit
untuk kugapai hatinyadi tengah kegalauan hatiku yang masih ada
terkadang terasa dekat tetapi terlalu jauh untuk didekati
kecemasan bertanya pada perasaan tak ada jawaban
hanya terdengar degupan berdetak detak
yang membuat batinku tak jadi tenang
tetapi rasa ini tak ingin kuhapus
hasrat mau berkembang
layaknya bunga di taman firdaus
yang akan mewarnai hari hariku

life is about choices....

you think
you choose
you take the consequences
(maybe) you make mistakes

and i choose already ....

sepi ya...

hari ini...
kesepian...
somehow...
orang orang ga tau pada kemana...
heran...
pada kemana si?
sini doonng..
temenin aku...

tapi kayanya lagi pada sibuk...
ya ga apa apa deh...
udah biasa juga kok sendirian...
hehehehe...

ngantuk menerjang ...

cekluk...cekluk...
ngantuk...
uhuk...uhukk...
celetuk-celetuk
garuk-garuk...
banyak nyamuk...
mau ngamuk...
bobo yukkk

waciaaahh....

Late Night Manicure ...

Made my night a bit smiley...
Made my fingers a bit beautiful...

Almost midnight...
Couldn't sleep yet...

Wondering into the dark of the night...
Looking for my not so ordinary prince charming...
No need white horse...
All I ask of him is to understand me....
If you are my prince charming...Here I am!
Please do come and get me...

*I'd call this errorisme*

The Full Review

Okay....here's the full story...

Went ice skating yesterday from 4pm-ish to 8:30pm-ish...
i had a blast!
learned how to do hockey break and after 11 years of doing this thing yesterday was the closest i've ever get to hockey break!yay...
i know it's not perfect yet, but at least i'm working on it...
Met new friends...most of them are college student....it was a stress reliever to hang out with them....
It's funny to think that way since last time I was the stress reliever back then....
People must grow up whether you like it or not....
Couldn't sleep last night....stay awake until 4am....that's nuts!
I think someone transferred me the insomia syndrome....duhh....

oh ya!
bo, i had a blast last night...let's do it again soon....
Even though I would like to see you have kids, but please don't get pregnant just yet....we just getting started!!!
woooohhhooooo.......

two sides of a coin

Happy
Went ice skating today!
Belajar hockey break tadi....I'm tired but I'm happy...
Dengkul pegel-pegel...lemes gua...ehuehue...kacau banget deh...

Angry
Wanna kick someone's ass!
In this stage of relationship bosen itu hal biasa....we need to work something out and if we are able to get out of this situation I'm sure we are going to be a stronger and better couple...instead he wanted to throw everything away!
"I don't deserve you, coz you are too good for me" - stupid statement! MORON! bullshit!
ah...liat nanti de gimana....

ketika hari itu tiba ....

ketika hari itu tiba...
aku akan bersorak-sorai
aku akan memeluk semua yang bisa dipeluk
aku akan menangis
aku akan membahagiakan orang yang kukasihi

ketika hari itu tiba...
aku akan memuji Tuhanku

aku akan menunggu ketika hari itu tiba....patiently....

Dear Lord,
I claim this 99,000 plantation will be ours...I will be waiting....I know you won't dissapointed me. Remember God, for my birthday ya....thanks...

chunks of my mind

it takes two to tango.

how do you feel waking up each morning and knowing there's nothing to look forward to?

i feel like a zombie but i don't look like one (amit amiiiitt)

wondering what's my purpose in life

praying and claiming for the HUGE thing to happen...amen God...amen....

ga tau....

ga banyak yang mau ditulis...
ga tau apa yang mau ditulis...

kemaren ya kemaren
yang berlalu ya udah berlalu...lupain aja
nothing you can do to change the past...
yang udah ya sutra lah...
urusin yang sekarang aja
enjoy apa yang kamu punya sekarang
soal besok urusin besok aja
kalo kamu hepi dengan situasi sekarang....then it's good for you
kalo kamu ga hepi...then work it out to make you happy...

jika kepenatan jiwa tidak bisa dipendung lagi
keluarin aja....
it's not good for your emotional health...
and not good for your surrounding

jika kegirangan hati luber...
more than okay to let it out and share it...

kalo mau ke laut ya silahkan pergi
scream your lung out...
they say it's not good to go shopping while your heart weary...
if you have the money...then go!screw what people say...

kalo bingung diantara dua pilihan...
take your time, sit down ,and think what's best for you...
if you are stuck...just go with the flow...
at the end of the day you must made up your mind...

adios.....

By Epictetus ...

" Ask not for that events should happen as you will, but let your will be that events should happen as they do, and you shall have peace."

ujan!

tear drops from heaven...

love rain watching ....

Tuguran

okay, call me un-religious or whatever you wish....
just found out about 'Tuguran' yesterday!haiyayayaya....
so we went at 1 until 3 in the morning....
it was my first time....norak ye...
but i feel alright...
awal2nya ngantuk seh, but now melek benerrrr....
it was a great conversation with God...well, lebih banyak gua naggingnya sih....hehhehe....
please God, please make our sawit dream come true...
please....

jakarta macet...(ah sudah biasaaa)

denger denger dari orang orang...katanya jakarta macetnya menggila...
berdasarkan kacamata keprofessoran gua...kayanya si gara2 mau long weekend orang2 pada keluar kota....huaa..kacauu....
baru dapet laporan mata dari amoy....gading - cawang macet..haayyooohh....
ntar rencananya mau tuguran...tp kok rasanya mulai celeng yak?kacaaauu....
tapi ga lah...gua mo tuguran....long live tuguraaannn!!!

i decided ....

not to got to the office....baby-sitting instead....
to start picked up my 4 kgs dumbbell of mine....
to do my sit-ups....
to pray even harder for the plantation....God please...please do not take this project from us....let us have it...please....
to shape-up in work and life....
to be strong...

lapar!

well....

well, well, well...
things i would recall....

Monday, 2 Apr 2007
Broke down and cry....HARD!
along the way ke rumah kendi i cried my heart out...blurry sight, hot eye lids, trembled heart, idung meler....semuanya deh....ga keru2an deh....
almost hit a car on my right....thanks God ga kena.....fiuuhhh....
felt okay for the rest of the day....
had a prayer meeting that night...andi felt something about me....putus asa katanya...it's the perfect word i would say...

this morning i decided not to be melempem...instead today is gonna be a productive day....and indeed it is....

trus apa lagi....
oh....sempet punya pikiran negatip tentang sawit tercinta....from the very beginning i know it's a hard project....and at this moment, there's nothing we can do but pray....
dear God, please please please do not take this project away from us....jangan dikasih ke orang lain God, please please please and a hundred million pleaseee...

lagi agak sibuk ama client2 tercinta...maunya aneh2...hehehhe....tapi ya apa daya...musti dikerjain juga....ada yang ga sabaran, ada yang galak, ada yang ga mo repot...aneh lahh...ehuehueue....

kembali ke dunia es lagi on 29 mar 2007....seru juga....tapi emang skill gua ga pernah berkembang...ehehehhe....kacau deh...
ayo kita main lagiii.....aaayyyyyooooo.....*malak dokat dulu ahhhh...*