Wednesday, August 30, 2006

29 of August


couldn't sleep last night!
my eyes were closed but my mind kept spinning.

thingking the unthinkable!
stay awake until 3 o'clock in the morning.

woke up late (of course) at 6:45am. huaaa....
ran around the house to get ready.
left the house around 7:34am.
heavy traffic jam this morning!darn!
arrived at the office around 8:20am.

it was 9-ish when people came by my desk and checking my tiny little business out. it was great. have 2 items left. hopefully, they really gonna take those things. amen!

it's 10:25am.drank my coffee about an hour ago. it felt good.

i need my sleep. this is one of those days - where my grumpy mood button become super sensitive. but to my surprise i feel okay. no bad mood on the way. amen to that!

read a light novel last night. the setting was bali. men, i really wanna go to bali again. the beach, the sun, the people, the traditional market. i'd by some paintings if i had the chance to go there. waaaaa....anyone wanna go bali??

borrowed 5 novel from pola. hohoho...i wonder, maybe i like to read (light novels) but i dont like keeping all those books that i have read. hehehhe....so better borrow!

talked about Dubai with my uncles and the aunties. it would be in my list of places i need to visit before i die.

read an interesting email from one of my collegiate.
"The TOP 5 Things That Keep You From Success"
1. A lack of motivation.

Success comes from loving what you do. Is your current job your passion? When your study highly successful people, you understand that they have at least 1 thing in common: they love what they do and they do what they love. Is this the case for you? If the answer is no, you can start by identifying your passion. This is the best way to get motivated.

2. A lack of faith.
Faith is a firm belief in yourself, God or others that you can do it. Build up a strong vision of what you want to accomplish. In developing a vision, the law of attraction is going to work for you. You are going to attract people, opportunities and money that will allow you to develop an unstoppable confidence.

3. The fear of failure.
The fear of failure doesn't exist. Neither does the fear of success. Fear stands for False Evidence Appearing Real. Micheal Jordan said himself that "Fear is an illusion". It is hard to overcome fears. One simple way to overcome the fear of failure is to read inspirational stories and quotes of people that achieved their dreams. Read one every morning. That will give you strength and hope.

4. The wrong strategies.
When you want to build a business, to achieve something really big, you need to have mentors. You can't allow yourself to loose time, money and energy. Mentors are people that will give you the right strategies; they will provide the right information and will inspire you. They will coach you through the process. Choose correctly your experts, your models. Work with them and adopt the same thinking patterns, the same strategies, the same beliefs. If he did it, you can do it too.

5. Limiting beliefs.
Often times we have limiting beliefs about what we want to achieve. For example, you can really want to achieve a goal but at the same time something tells you: "It's not for you, you don't deserve that" or "You can't do it, remember". These thoughts pollute our minds and darken our life. A quick way to stop these damaging thoughts is to use the power to say no! First, represent in your mind the "limiting belief" and say NO! To it. Now, represent in your mind what you want in its place and say a big YES! You will be amazed how your attitude suddenly changed about the old belief.

mendadak laper ya....masih ngantuk seh...

oh ya...one thing about jakarta.our governor sucks.
yes, sutioso you sucks!!!!
the busway and monorail project are silly. traffic jam getting crazier and crazier each day!it wont solve jakarta's traffic jam problem. morron!!what the hell were you thinking?bener2 ga ngerti!!

Sunday, August 27, 2006

arisan keluarga

Went to arisan Hendarmin's family di gading.
Felt akward....aneh aja....gua nih, bukan tipe orang yang bisa ber-haha ber-hihi di depan para tetua...aneh banget rasanya...
kaya outsider....
trus nyoba buat start a conversation...makin aneh aja rasanya...blah banget dah!

eniwei, congrats ye yang uda punya cowo!!!hohohohooh...kenalin dong!

pulang ke cawang...pala cekat cekot ampe sekarang...perut laper...ga ada makanan...lengkap lah sudar penderitaan gua...

what do i want in life ye?
barusan baca kiwithesis....she knows what she want.....lah gua...BLANK!
mate aje kali yee....gua bingung seh sebenernya mao apa....
i know this is my life...ini idup gua...all depends on me...tapiii....gua mao apaaa??
pusing tau!

stok nyamuk lagi gila2an nih di rumah...amit2 banget deh!bentol2 digigitin nyamuk....

back to work tomorrow!

Friday, August 25, 2006

one said ...


"To understand someone is not to understand everything but accepting the things that you don't understand"

Is it really?

Tuesday, August 22, 2006

hari ini...

Hari ini...
ke gading, lunch ama si gendut

hari ini...
ke gading, benerin kopling boil...mahal aje!hiks...

hari ini...
my feeling back to square one....back to basic...the very basic....he gave me goosebumps and smiles for no reason!!!

hari ini...
was okay....

Monday, August 21, 2006

now i have something to write about

ehem...
went to taman harapan indah...
excited about that possibility....possibility to jump into a very different working situation....
amen amen....
2007 ya?
think about it!!

nothing

lagi ga mood nulis since i dont really know how i feel....
hmmm...
lagi ada michael buble di tivi....
i love his voice...
hoaaa....dia nyanyi save the last dance!!hoaaa...hoaaa....
oh well....gitu aja...*basi ye...ehehhe*

Friday, August 18, 2006

phrase of the day


"Keep my options open."

Based on this particular circumtances, I might need to re-think my path of life.
Where do I wanna go, who I want to spend the rest of my life with.
That kind of things.
As for now, I might need to keep my options open in every aspect since I don't know where life would take me.

Along the road, I might make some unreasonable decisions which I might/not regret it one day. But, as of today....I made up my mind to find other port for my heart....To find a tiny little possibility that someone out there is really for me.
Yes, I made up my mind already.
Sounds silly?Please read the italic sentence above.
Unfaithful?It's up to you to decide. Have you ever think how I feel?Have you ever put yourself in my shoes?Looking things from my glasses?Stop being so selfish.
Gua kecewa....sangat!

Sunday, August 13, 2006

in the last 48 hours....

involve in an interesting conversation with marco - details in my diary already...males ngetik lagi ah....
yang jelas im so glad i had the chance to chat with him....thanks for the inside opinions and thoughts....

pilek lagi!sebal!

pergi ama candice and tante pau, nyedengin baju penganten....it was a nice dress....first, i didnt really like the blue thing on the waist, just doesn't belong there....but when i looked at the back of the dress it shows more style....bagus!
i like the stones....bling bling banget...ehehehhe....
on our way home tante pau ngomong gini, "iiiihhh de, mami mah paling ga mao ngelupain kebaikan orang."...jegeeeeeerrrr!!!kaya disamber gledek gua....glapok, gepplak...plokkk!!
it made me realize how selfish i am....
some how i dont know what to do with people who are nice to me....i didnt have the gesture to show how i care....coz i raised that way....
but i want those who care about me to know that i love you guys!really!!

lately, gua juga mikir kalo ternyata peranan gua di keluarga itu udah berubah...im not a 'free as a bird' second child anymore....lebih ke head of the family....
i cannot do whatever i wanna do anymore....harus mikir if i do this, efeknya ke orang lain gimana?

lagi ga betah di rumah neh....mao pegi aje kali yee....tapi idung masi meler ga keruan gini...



Sunday, August 06, 2006

iseng ajah, coz i miss my blog


Good day, ay!
alrite...
one thing i know about me...
perut gua itu sensinye ajubile....gampang keganggu....

semalem nonton miami vice....it was okay lah...but the cars were so damn good!
my fave would be the white bmw...seri 6 katanya....cantikkk banget tu mobil...

kemaren si gendut asked me to stop drinking coffee....and gua keberatan!setelah gua pikir2 lagi pagi ini...i'd give up coffee if he'd lower his weigh....gemanaaaa??hohohooh....
katanya si lagi diet...but we shall see...

*bener2 ga penting postingan kali ini* hehehhe.....



Wednesday, August 02, 2006

coffee, coffee where art thou?

finished my medicines already, but there is a second phase!
darn it!
i miss coffee very much!

that is it!

1 aug 2006 is the date i will always remember as it'd be my starting point to hate him even more.
if being a murderer is not a sin, i'd kill him by now.
if being a good child is to be quite and didn't do anything to make things better then i'm not a good child at all.
if being a good human being is to defend and cover one's mistakes at all times then i'm not a good human being after all.

as i grew older, i learned i would do anything in my power to destroy my nightmare.
as i grew older, i learned God and candice are the people who knew me best.
as i grew older, i learned my heart is become numb(er) and numb(er) even more.
as i grew older, i learned how to hate one to the max.
as i grew older, i learned that the only reason i'm here is to defend her. nothing more, nothing less.

i promise myself that no one (NO ONE!) can ever treat me the way he treats her for past 31 years.

i'm NOT sorry for what happen last night. not in a million years!

i'm thanking God for my quick reflects.
i'm thanking God for the guts to let my anger out.
i'm thanking God for there were no tears.
i'm thanking God for i ain't nothing like him.

i hate you, yes...you!
you have nothing, you gave nothing.
stop being so powerful and arrogant when you have nothing at all.
you don't even have self respect.
stop being such a jerk and die!die die die die die die die!!!
we'd better off without you!
piece of shit!